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Sometimes I dream of men angry
Demanding I repay them for something
I could never have caused
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Sometimes my heart thunders in my chest
And I wonder
If he's nearby to drag me back
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Into that world I escaped
Into the drugs and the booze
Forcing me to rid my innocence
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Sometimes I think I really see him
In the distance, around a corner
And I force my jenga tower spine
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To stay strong and vertical
Despite the whistle of wind
Blowing through the gaping hollows
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And I tie the corners of my cheeks
Into a forced smile so no one will fret
Or excuse my behavior and call me
Reasonable.
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It's happening now,
Nightmare reruns playing in my mind
And I have nothing that could have caused it
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But I stay at work quietly
Sitting in my seat. And somehow,
No one around me has a clue.