1 january

starting the month with a huge heartache - realising how much the harry potter series is important to me - trying to unterstand myself and accept my feelings more - some days are better and worse than others - sadness - ugh - i hate anxiety - really trying my best but sometimes is exhausting - i want to change and to be more fair with everyone and myself - everything is gonna be okay - i feel soooo dumb dumb sometimes lol - working out (trying to do every day) - anxiety strikes again - ok i'm fine lol i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me - feeling anxious but that's okay, it'll pass - i have to stop being such a weak ass bitch tho - ugh - can i be in peace for like one second i'm so tired - wow i love one direction - everything's good - trying to be positive and more outgoing - reading fanfics - going to travel with my family wednesday - i'm hating my body lately but i'm trying to not freak out about it - i was supposed to be happy but i'm really sad and stressed - missing him - idk what the hell to do i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore i need so much to be patient - i miss home i miss my dog even my annoying brother i'm just so sad wtf? - i hate myself so much - i don't wanna be bad anymore - why everything has to be so difficult - trying - going to the beach at 00:00 - i'm too scared for those things tbh, just not used to it i get a little anxious but it was alright - everyone in my family is just crazy - thinking a lot, realizing things lol - i know i'm a bitch sometimes and i think a lot about what people says about me and lol i can imagine all the shit tbh - everything is exhausting - hate those thoughts - just want to don't care keep trying and feel okay again - i know i overthink too much it makes me so sad - i souldn't care but some things don't vanish like this - just wanna learn with the pain lol - only one more day to come back home - wish i could stop imagining what he says about me - pain all over my body - some days i just really want to die - i miss home so much - there's up and downs and there's drops - ok so tomorrow i'll be home - hoping for more good days.

2 february

it's harry's birthday and i hope he is happy - coming back home - feeling relieved - my classes starts monday already - focus on myself and learn to be patient can be very difficult but i'm trying very hard! - want to be happy for others and stop feeling guilty once for all for things i can't control - wow tired of feeling sick?? - coming back to college - i love harry a lot - i miss singing and playing piano - feeling insecure about a lot of things - music from my childhood - why there's so many shit happening what the fuck - sadness - sending you all the love - new glasses finally!! - ugh idk - dancing barefoot - i don't know if i'll ever stop feeling guilty - writing! - turns out i can be very good at poetry... - sweatshirt and panties is my new #aesthetic - necklaces too - trying to play guitar again - i'm so lazy kskdjskd - seeing things that i really really don't want to see - breaking news: i'm a human and i have feelings - crying bc of the good place - cutting my bangs! again! yee! - i'm fine! - my heart is a fucking crazy bitch - seeing a lot of butterflies while listening to butterfly - talking to a lot of people lol - parties are definitely not my thing - getting drunk with my friends - laughing a lot - now i feel very sick - doing some dumb shit - i just want to feel good and comfortable with myself - i hate hospitals - i'm gonna DIE - i hate eating disorders so fucking much - not feeling very well - i love the rain - well, knowing many things that i did not know - glad hes happy ksjdks - thinking a lot idk?? - everythings gonna be alright!!

3 march

hello march you little bitch - i'm sick - ok i'm feeling a little better now!! - i'm great - gotta take care of my body - rain - things take time and i got this - i'm such a dramatic bitch - i'm so bitter - it's okay so feel sad sometimes - music always makes me feel better - apparently it's gonna be a rainy month - that's good - "these days, knowing more makes you more miserable" - i know i've changed but i want to change even more - for my own good - why is my health so shitty lately - i wish i could do anything less than think - so tired of being sick - finally doing the medical exams i needed to do - it's okay missing people that you care about - i've been depressed and noticed this yesterday but i'm trying my best to get out of this now - slept well last night - relieved and a little sad but it happens - i'm STRESSED OUT TODAY - feeling lazy and mad and sensitive - i turn into the devil on my period - i'm so so so anxious ksjdksj - just CHILL WTF - nothing happens and i'm kskdksdjskjaksk - shut the FUCK UP - ok good morning - ok i'm better hehe - annoyed - i need to wake the fuck up - tired of having anxiety attacks - feeling nervous bc COLLEGE - i need to study more - but i'm fine - i really want louis and his family to be happy :( - going out with sofia! - eating good food - cinema - captain marvel is amazing ugh god is indeed a woman - feeling fine but stressed out bc college - i need to read more - trying to improve my singing and take care of my throat - ok so i'm going to wake the fuck up stay tuned

4 april

i already have my endgame tickets! let's get it :p - i wanna cut my hair again... - i did it. i have short hair again - i love the rain - dancing!! learning the "solo" coreo - college is stressing me out so so much - tired of waiting for my period - i'm so mad - i fucking hate everyone in college - i'm so so so so tired -

jan 4 2019 ∞
apr 18 2019 +