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  • stop all criticism. criticism never changes a thing. accept yourself as you are. everybody changes, and when you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. when you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
  • don't scare yourself. stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughst. find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
  • be gentle, kind and patient. be gentle with yourself. be kind to yourself. be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking.
  • be kind to your mind. self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. don't hate yourself for having the thoughts, but gently change your thoughts.
  • praise yourself. criticism breaks down the inner spirit. praise builds it up. tell yourself how well you're doing with every little thing.
  • support yourself. find ways to support yourself. reach out to friends and allow them to help you. it shows strength to ask for help.
  • be loving to your negatives. acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. as you find new, positive ways to fulfill those needs, you can release the old negative patterns.
  • take care of your body. learn about nutrition. what kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? learn about exercise. what kind of exercise can you enjoy? cherish and revere the person you are.
  • mirror work. look into your eyes often. express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. talk to your parents looking into the mirror. forgive them, too. at least once a day say "i love you".
  • do it now. don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. begin now, do the best you can.


  • say stop to your inner critic.
  • use healthier motivation habits.
    • remind yourself of the benefits. a simple but powerful way to motivate yourself and to keep that motivation up daily is to write down the deeply felt benefits you will get from following this new path or reaching a goal.
    • refocus on doing what YOU really, really like to do. when you really, really like doing something then the motivation to do that thing tends to comes pretty automatically. when you really want something in life then it also becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you feel.
  • take a 2 minute self-appreciation break.
    • take a deep breath, slow down and ask yourself this question: what are 3 things I can appreciate about myself? these things don’t have to be big things. these short breaks do not only build self-esteem in the long run but can also turn a negative mood around and reload you with a lot of positive energy again.
  • replace the perfectionism.
    • go for good enough. when you aim for perfection then that usually winds up in a project or a task never being finished. So simply go for good enough instead. don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. but simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished.
    • remember that buying into myths of perfection will hurt you and the people in your life. this simple reminder that life is not like in a movie, a song or a book can be good reality check whenever you are daydreaming of perfection.
  • handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.
    • be your own best friend. instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.
    • find the upside. another way to be more constructive in this kind of situation is to focus on optimism and opportunities. so ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this? and what is one opportunity I can find in this situation?
  • be kinder towards people.
  • spend more time with supportive people. and less time with destructive people.
  • stop falling into the comparison trap.
oct 19 2017 ∞
feb 23 2018 +