Pretty much all you need to do for this is write 5 things, these can be peoples names, places, emotions, a film title, song title, band, anything that sums up your day, do it each day on your listography for a year, copy and paste this at the top of the list so people know what this list is all about. My Start Date: 04/06/2017. Part i Part ii

JANUARY

  • 01: happy new year! • positive attitude • cleaned room • exercise • tried to read • Void • finished the colorwork on that merry pillow and am using the yarn to make some spicy diamonds (link later) so when I feel the Void I can fill it by making diamonds • my “should I stream or should I not?” apathy just caught feels and I’m feeling not...
  • 02: restarted my mom's virus shawl as a mesh stitch scarf and hopefully i'll be happier • therapy • michael's • early dinner • things to think about... • i need to learn how to stop caring • it’s so much easier to love at a distance! • tomorrow begins the ‘let’s see if I can go seven days without weed’ plan :x • oh me oh my
  • 03: obsessions are unhealthy, and if he's not thinking of me, why should i think of him? • back to bed to restart the day • meh • run • another nap • finished another diamond • went to sleep very early
  • 04: Void comes early today • snow, again? • guess i'll go to the doctor • got my medicines • bagels • stomach pain • threw up that bagel, and i am outraged • nap • talks with mom • ramen • feeling actually pretty positive • also it's day 2 of no marijuana
  • 05: no weed mean you remember your dreams, holy shit • dropped dad off at the metro/hot bagel • rite-aid • the Void, again • why does it always come at the same time wtf • read • nap • ancient aliens and phở gà • sleep early
  • 06: day 3½ of no weed • i think i'm over him, but there's a melancholic sadness each time i think of him and the time i spent, so once that clears i think i'll be okay • i ended up picking up :[
  • 07: listography was down for me :( • severe cramps
  • 08: beautiful sunrise • okay so maybe the prozac is causing the Void, and it's come on stronger and i now feel like a Zombie • i'll see my doctor thursday • wegman's • granny square • talked to him :):):)
  • 09: awoke with severe back pain, wtf • twitch and game grumps all day • nap • played yarn chicken and won, woo, i don't have to buy more • couldn't go to therapy • game grumps and granny squares
  • 10: back still hurts • nap • made a heart granny square for little hearts for grace with mom • more game grumps and granny squares
  • 11: ha, my appointment with the doctor was actually yesterday, not today • feeling like shit • i'm just going to go back to sleep ugh • cleaned a little • video chatted with T. :) • the Void is strong today • figured out the math for my temperature blanket • went to sleep at 7ish • got an Idea
  • 12: was awake for like 30 minutes at 7, went back to sleep until 10 • voidvoidvoid • klonopin arrived and holy shit, today wasn't that bad • talked to my doctor about the prozac, she said see a psychiatrist :[ • smw • bath and book • thought about the Idea → Plan • started a cross stitch (!)
  • 13: woke up early to cross stitch • decided not to go to the inpatient psychiatric thing, will go monday • temperature blanket 2018 yarn arrived! • nap • more cross stitch • decided to be social, and made it all the way to dc before he cancelled -_-
  • 14: 2 naps before noon • talk about the Plan which may actually be a Real Thing and not just a Pipe Dream • winding yarn • started temperature blanket 2018! • D. came over
  • 15: feelin great! • sudden back pain! Ugh • cross stitch jaundice mario and worked on the temperature blanket • nap • hooboy don’t want to be away • enchilidads • romeo and juliet • I feel sick • goodnight
  • 16: therapy and talked about the Plan which looks like it's a Real Plan • run • ab workout • tried to work on temperature blanket 2017, but 2018 won out • migraine??? • bed early
  • 17: snow • worked on temperature blankets but meh • no weed = dreams come back with a vengeance • ab workout • nap • picked up, whatever
  • 18: i got my passport photo taken and i look terrified, but that's better than the lazy eye one and i didn't want to bother the guy anymore • did my square for the mooglycal2018 • ab workout • then got high and accomplished absolutely nothing besides watching bananya and playing terraria
  • 19: twitch and crochet • best buy: amy winehouse record • grocery store • stress period • knitting! (i haven't knit in like a year, i've been crocheting) • cross stitch
  • 20: up to date with 2018 temperature blanket • feeling meh • best buy for daddy's television which means i get my mom's so yay slightly bigger tv • talked about journals with my mom • nap • woke up and thought it was tomorrow and was v disappointed • chinese food
  • 21: woke up then went back to sleep • put up dad's new tv • got medicine • get peach or die trying event on twitch • nap • actually made dinner • the martian (2015)
  • 22: irritable • run and ab workout • knit and cross stitch • alerted T. and S. about the Plan, more details to come • nap • takoyaki • sushi for dinner • cross stitch
  • 23: twitch • therapy • exercise • dinner • cross stitch
  • 24: twitch • train • sculpture garden at national gallery of art/ice skating rink • sculpture garden at hirshhorn • train • panera • nap • uploaded pictures
  • 25: psychiatrist • michael's, and successfully avoided my old boss • beer store • cleaning • fixed my sewing machine! • nap • star doily and apollo 13 • the sweetest message
  • 26: BOUGHT MY TICKETS FOR LONDON • twitch • run and ab workout • videochat with tom • nap • pizza friday • crochet and ancient aliens • BOOKED AIRBNB
  • 27: woke late-ish • irritable mood • twitch • run because it's 60° outside • cloud atlas and crochet • guess i'm going to this house party • went to the party, saw two bands, and had a good time
  • 28: resubbed third tier to tom :P • caught up on 2018 temperature blanket • moved tvs • nap • sushi
  • 29: horrible dream, then fell back asleep into it • no coffee this morning :( • tooth extraction by george carlin • they put me to sleep lol • slept till like 4 • video games • tv • phở gà
  • 30: not much crochet today • risky biznu questions • shower • lots of sleep
  • 31:_ woke at 4 for food and saw the super blue blood moon • back to sleep • a bit of crochet • sleep • these medicines, i stg • percocet is a bitch but it works • worked on temperature blanket • thank the lord january is fucking over

FEBRUARY

  • 01: apparently 4 am is my new eating time • pls let this month go by quickly pls pls pls • twitch • crochet mooglycal2018 square #2 • daddy did some grocery shopping • long nap
  • 02: twitch • therapy • twitch • crochet • nap • crochet (basically a good day)
  • 03: woke early from a disturbing dream • decided to stream! • streamed! • got hosted by tom • then my mouth hurt so i only went two hours • a little bit of crochet with mom • nap • dinner • twitch • Void
  • 04: woke at 6 • little bit of meh • got myself together and streamed • but wtf is up with my stitches • worked on temperature blankets • super bowl lii: go eagles! • EAGLES WON
  • 05: cross stitch and emo this morning • trouble concentrating • going to get these stitches out thank goodness • STITCH OUT • flu shot • cross stitch • bought some weed :x • major epiphany • but still, it's night so i go to bed before 8 because whatever the fuck
  • 06: woke at 5 but went back to sleep • twitch • therapy • crochet • kill bill vol. 1 (2003)
  • 07: twitch • streamed • sold cds • guardians of the galaxy vol. ii (2017)
  • 08: very bad day • pretty much slept all day • minimal crochet • overthinking, jumping to conclusions • but what is it for?
  • 09: avoided twitch till the end, then got hurt and decided he likes her more than me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ • naps, minimal crochet, and lots of ancient aliens • he did say hi to me in someone else’s chat so maybe I *don’t* bother him. there’s so much to think about and consider and i just don’t have the time to, and what’s it even for? • remember when I loved myself, let’s go back there to that happy feeling. • also I’ll be hanging out with mike like 3 times soon, he even agreed to see the dark crystal which is cool af :)
  • 10: didn't go to brunch, but streamed • big void feels • i'm working through this
  • 11: feeling a bit better • streamed for a little • cleaned a bunch • finished the great beast blanket, it just needs ends woven in and a border • omg debating on going to france
  • 12: slept using the great beast and the cats stole it • wove in ends on great beast • started heart grannies • nap • smol dinner • the sick • everything on my list of things i want happened today: i gotta get yarn for my great beast blankets border; we have enough yarn for mum to do the basual granny cal as well; I’m going to fucking france(!)
  • 13: woke at like 5 • making heart squares all day long • punctuated by paranoia • epiphanies at therapy • shaky shake shake • making hurt squares while thinking, thinking hard and I made myself physically sick; I gave myself a migraine • only 9 squares finished • might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.
  • 14: talked to him this morning and succeeded but in what so I am taking a break and thinking about what I really want • heart granny squares • nap • panic • pizza • music
  • 15: went to the grocery store at 7 am • very good time on his stream • mooglycal #3 • went for a run because it's 70 degrees • crochet • talked to L. :3
  • 16: streamed early • black panther • record store • M. bought a switch and we hung out • fucking changing record needles is hard • i don't think i did it correctly, but L. contacted ME • what if everything gets flipped upside down and i don't even see T. and see L. like the whole time wtf even.
  • 17: woke up then back to sleep • car maintenance until 2 • sleep • granny heart squares and jurassic park: the lost world
  • 18: migraine • crochet • cleaned • breath of the wild • talked to lou :3
  • 19: bit of anxiety • run • crochet • botw • science channel • talked to L. till 11pm/5am his time
  • 20: a lot of sleep today • crochet • therapy • science channel • got me some weed, kids :p
  • 21: stomach pain • a bit of crochet • sleep • talked to L. for like 6 hours
  • 22: depressed • working on 2018 temperature blanket • meh • a lot of sleep
  • 23: tbh still depressed • packed • rite-aid • 2 hours to dover • nap • skipped dinner • ancient aliens and crochet
  • 24: this vacation might be more relaxing if there wasn't a horny couple having sex, loudly, every few hours • crochet all day • lobster ravioli for dinner • L. really understands me
  • 25: anxiety = no brunch :\ • feeling rather shitty, tbh • stayed in the room and crocheted/shower/twitch/nap • went downstairs and bought purses for london/paris, and a new wallet; got my player's reward card • won like $375 • ate • told my aunt about london and she was very underwhelmed... • so sleepy
  • 26: played a bit but lost • sat in the lobby and crocheted and had deep talks with mom • drive home • royal farms • cats! • science channel and weed
  • 27: i'm home! • temperature blanket • therapy • target • michael's • 711 • tried to make tacos • talked to L.
  • 28: the Void is strong this morning • T is totally dating her • the dark crystal (1982) at the movies! (fathom event) • band practice • evening star cafe • 3 words

MARCH

  • 01: a bit hungover • new square for mooglycal looks hard af • grocery store • crochet • nap • flat tire/chipotle • made it to villain & saint • big bend, forces, touch the buffalo • hung out with M.
  • 02: a bit hungover again, only more so this time • tried to crochet • slept a lot • zelda • dreams • Big Sandness (triggered by?)
  • 03: hungover, again? • sleep all day • alley cat: big bend and purple isn't six • drunk • ღ
  • 04: no hangover! • a little bit of crochet, but a lot of sleep • L. ♡
  • 05: panic • cancelled root canal • slept
  • 06: PANIC • cancelled therapy • rescheduled for tomorrow • mostly slept
  • 07: hey look, more panic • cancelled therapy again • violin • lou
  • 08: kid from my high school passed away, we assume suicide
  • 09: will this shitty feeling ever go away? • thrift store • craft store • mostly slept though • for a minute there, i lost myself.
  • 10: can i just... he messaged me first :3 • we video chatted!!! • dinner time • had to get ready for the show • club heaven & hell • idek who the band was • lots of things to think about • ღ
  • 11: came home • a bit of crochet • nap • feeling meh, still. dreams are crazy, man • i wish he was around! • 311 day! amber is the color of your energy
  • 12: booked paris hotel • video chat • nap • i'm still fucking depressed, y
  • 13: still fucking depressed • no therapy • walked back from rite-aid •
  • 14: stephen hawking died :( • picked up my dad from the grocery store • mostly crochet • talked to L late
  • 15: body pains • tired • migraine • i think he really likes me, you guys :3
  • 16: Ø
  • 17: talked to L. • pet store • videochat with L. • guess i'm going out for st. patrick's day • got all dressed and ready and decided not to go
  • 18: two videochats with L.
  • 19: better mood • hobby lobby • nap • quick conversation with L. • 9:30 club for dr. robinson’s fiasco • saw shaed and a song by coast modern
  • 20: shit mood • no therapy • errands (library, wegmans) • emergency room - mom's okay • dicked around • videochat with L. - he's going to visit me in london! ♡
  • 21: snow • started L's blanket • slept mostly • read the little prince
  • 22: flight rescheduled for tomorrow • feeling meh • video chat time! • went to see look out lincoln at the lighthorse • decisions
  • 23: airport was PACKED • tired • migrainey • big conversations with L. • skipped dinner
  • 24: still migrainey • tried to crochet • slept mostly • skipped dinner • better in the evening
  • 25: first formula 1 race of the season! • finished some socks • nap • duke v. kansas (elite eight)
  • 25: wearing said socks :) • letter writing • post office, panera, target • nap • neighbor’s visited with baby annie grace • PANIC • dinner • i think i’m exhausted and overwhelmed and am going to sleep before 8pm
  • 26: Ø
  • 27: uber • flight home •
  • 28: GOT A JOB: rehired at michael's as an instructor! • videochatted with L. ♡ • nap • talked to L. until late.
  • 29: 80 degrees • walk • pictures • L! ♡♡♡
  • 30: christian things on history channel and crochet • nap • went to work so i'm fully in the system now!! • L all day and all of the night, how i wish he was closer
  • 31: i'm so happy! :D • tomorrow begins the final countdown • almost done with these 5 things, and i don't think i'll be redoing it :o • world market, and reconnected with an old friend • payless • avenue, and a job proposition • nap • video chats!

APRIL

  • 01: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN: 37 DAYS • didn't sleep well • 2 mile walk • finished some squares • slept a lot • read
  • 02: 36 days • packed boxes • slept • slept early
  • 03: 35 days • doctor's • library • wegman's • 5 minute nap before L messaged • talked for a bit • nap • long conversation/video chat at night
  • 04: 34 days • crochet • got stuff together for trip and overwhelmed • pho • is this love is this love is this love
  • 05: 33 days • recurring dreams about missing my flight/not being packed • went for a walk and came back and the door was *wide ass open* :O • good thing i live in a 'decent' neighborhood and nothing happened and not even the cats were out • shopping: michael's, old navy, target, forever 21, currency exchange, bath & body works • tired • L. • nap • pizza • L. • last day!
jan 1 2018 ∞
apr 6 2018 +