be like ice melting on top of grainy watercolor paper

kill the holes

fill them with color

swirl

let the wind blow over you

and then change

you are not tied to any matter in this world

move

adapt

transform

what you do is not a mistake

but a consequence

be like ice melting on top of grainy watercolor paper

overwhelm your surroundings with the heaviest flow

swim a little

be a stain mark at the corner of the page

a coffee mark

sep 23 2014 ∞
sep 23 2014 +
  • Lattes will forever be the greatest form of coffee.
  • Vital activities are not vital when something is brighter than life itself.
  • The attractiveness of female lead singers and girl bands.
  • Angsty and pretentious are awfully beautiful adjectives to describe someone.
  • (Writing in parenthesis is a interesting way to keep a conversation fun and flowing).
  • Scars are adorable. So are freckles. So is kissing at two a.m.
  • To read a book that gives you chills, even if its for the twentieth time, will never be a waste of time. Enjoying a book says a lot about the author. Find a writer that makes you forget to eat. Find the literary movement that you won't stop reading until your eyes bleed.
  • Body parts such as eyes and hands are del...
mar 10 2014 ∞
mar 10 2014 +

i’ve heard putting off a cigarette on your naked flesh

is the most painful self-inflicted wound you can cause

but they seem clueless about their words

when there are things in life you light up

that are harder to put off

and wounds aren’t just wounds

they stay scars

and scars aren’t just scars

when its somebody else’s named carved on your skin

there are feelings that burn more than fire

there are marks that stain us forever

there are things in life that are harder to put off

mar 10 2014 ∞
mar 11 2014 +

One day I woke up To your hands pampering my back And your characteristic aroma floating around my bed sheets.

My coffee was a little colder From the early breeze of that Sunday morning And I swore, I could hear your voice Traveling with the wind.

That day I claimed my bitterness all to the fact That you weren’t there And you haven’t been Since November 23rd I thought only you had died But I guess now I’m dead too

oct 19 2013 ∞
oct 19 2013 +

for god's sake, i'm trying

oct 8 2013 ∞
oct 8 2013 +
  • You carry the weight
  • Of the heavy moon
  • On the back of your shoulders.
  • And your eyes look as if
  • The darkness in the night sky
  • Couldn’t even be a comparison.
  • But honey,
  • “Hold my hand
  • I won’t swear to take it off
  • I won’t lie to you
  • I can only love you
  • And make flowers grow out of the cracks in your heart
  • And turn the scars on your wrist into masterpieces
  • I can kiss you and touch the deepest side of your soul”
  • I can try to fix you
  • Let me remind you why to love yourself every night
  • And when I see your moon taking over agai...
sep 8 2013 ∞
sep 26 2013 +

how am i supposed to focus when the only thing in my head is my eight year old voice saying "dont touch me. please dont touch me" over and over again?

aug 26 2013 ∞
sep 2 2013 +
  • sound
    • rain
    • waves
    • deep voices
  • touch
    • skin
    • thin paper pages
    • chopped lips
    • warm mugs
    • peaches
  • taste
    • coffee
    • pesto
    • alfredo sauce
    • black pepper
    • pineapple
  • scent
aug 12 2013 ∞
aug 13 2013 +

Last month I went to the hospital to my regular doctor's appointment. I sat and shivered as they told my blood sugar levels were higher than ever, and my kidneys were already troubling to function well. I thought I'd be able to make my lies believable, but I guess it was not the case. They found out I was hiding something, but they didn't know what or how bad was it. Truth is I've been going to the hospital since I was nine and it was the natural transition for me to go alone this time but I strongly believe I was not ready. I'm not ready and I guess I'll never be. I can't fight this alone. I can't deal with the fact that because of the whole situation they gave me several blood tests for next month (five months earlier than the usual)and I've been trying to change my habits and put my life together but I just can't. How can I do it whenever I look and see such a giant disgusting muscle ha...

aug 11 2013 ∞
aug 11 2013 +
  • melt marshmallows on your freezer
  • drink salty water from a river
  • blink with your eyes open
  • kiss the clouds
  • fly through out the ocean
  • drug yourself by eating daisies
  • turn me into a happy person
aug 4 2013 ∞
aug 4 2013 +

Cuando marché, me di cuenta que ya antes había llegado. Que siempre estuve ahí, que tal vez nunca me había movido. Que mientras estuve viva estaba muerta por dentro. Solo fui un espíritu y si, me presencia fue vana. En el momento de me despedida nadie derramó una lágrima ya que nunca les di la oportunidad de conocerme. En mis escritos quedaron mis pensamientos y quien hubiese imaginado que cambiarían la perspectiva de la humanidad.

jul 25 2013 ∞
jul 25 2013 +

Is creepy to see your toes turning as purple as the end of the dawn. as that 6pm fear strikes you to your bone and give you chills through your body, but you're glad, you can feel it. since you're aware that soon you won't, that legs in which you first stepped into this world will now punish you to sit still until the end of your days. and you know, deep in your conscience, that i has all been your fault. and you know, as the sun rises, that even in the brightest light of the day, it will be too dark for you to see now.

jul 18 2013 ∞
jul 18 2013 +
  • azmarie livingston
  • samantha ronson
  • tegan
  • sara
  • grace bol
  • freja beha
  • ellen degeneres

tumblr

  • lipstickandties
  • morningbellamnesiac
apr 10 2013 ∞
may 26 2013 +

They said there is nothing to writing, just sitting at a typewriter and bleed. True. I sat multiple times thinking about you and typing, typing for hours. But no words of mine would make justice to your beauty. However, I decided to give it another try. If I close my eyes I can still feel your fingertips running around my hand and the soft scratch of your nails trying to reach their way up my palm searching for me to I’d hold your hand. My eyes would be totally distracted by our hands, together, that I would get lost in them. Then you’d gently touch my face and point it up, right in front of yours, and kiss me slowly, at first, turning into a warm passionate way of showing your love.

  • ..
feb 21 2013 ∞
feb 21 2013 +

the taste of puke in mouth is making me nauseated. the thunders seems to not only be terrifying me. i carefully move the curtains to the left in order to be able to see through my room's windows. its raining. its chaos. people are running outside. i close my eyes. i hear the screaming. its the lady next door grabbing on to the light pole. what is she doing? this is a storm. it strikes one more time. her screams are even louder. i exhale slowly to calm myself. i move towards the other side of the room. the pale green walls give me some kind of warmth but im still very aware. what do i do? i gasp to myself. what is this?

i returned.

i havent puked. there is no lighting. the screams are only in my head. ms. poly is in her garden watering her daisies. its a bright day outside and the serene breeze is nothing but calming. i lay back. ...

jan 6 2013 ∞
jan 7 2013 +
  • graceful lips kiss my skin
  • and turn the damaged, the ugly
  • into fun,
  • into lovely.
dec 13 2012 ∞
dec 28 2012 +

unless it gets too bad i wont let them hospitalize me

dec 1 2012 ∞
dec 1 2012 +
nov 22 2012 ∞
nov 22 2012 +

it was not that i had nobody to talk to, is that i forgot how to do it. i was lonely. yes, very lonely. i found myself creating scenarios in my head constantly. at a point my mind got lost from the compulsive desire of leaving this place. i adored those who were brave enough to adore me and the thought of letting them down stopped me from doing it. i had already disappointed them in numerous ways as i had disappointed myself. however, i hated existing. i loathed breathing and waking up every morning knowing i would probably be more miserable than i was the day before and so it went on and on and on. silence was my closest friend because all i genuinely felt like saying got stuck in my head forever. i slowly got detached from every social conduct i first considered acceptable. i had changed and i knew it. i was too blue now. it was tough for me to difference reality from the world I had cre...

nov 20 2012 ∞
nov 20 2012 +
  • dirty deeds done dirt cheap -acdc
  • fantasea -azealia banks
  • lungs -florence +the machine
  • visions -grimes
  • is your love big enough? -lianne la havas
  • in utero -nirvana
  • nevermind the bollocks here comes the sex pistols -the sex pistols
  • the velvet underground and nico -the velvet underground
  • it's blitz -yeah yeah yeahs
  • wounded rhymes -lykke li
  • youth novels -lykke li
  • born to die paradise edition -lana del rey
nov 19 2012 ∞
nov 19 2012 +
  • kurt cobain
  • edith piaf
  • stefani germanotta
nov 19 2012 ∞
nov 19 2012 +

i’ve heard putting off a cigarette on your naked flesh

is the most painful self-inflicted wound you can cause

but they seem clueless about their words

when there are things in life you light up

that are harder to put off

because these wounds aren’t just wounds

they're agony crawling inside the darkest parts of your body

and turning themselves into demons

so bitter and enfurated

they will carve your lover’s name across your skin

these are the marks that stain us forever

these are feelings that burn more than fire

cigarette butts are nothing but soft petals

mar 11 2014 ∞
mar 11 2014 +

a. i was stupid and naive and you had enough power to break me into pieces so i didn’t hesitate in doing all of the shit you wanted. some nights i hear your voice calling me your little slave or asking me to shove up things up my body and god how much does that still fuck me up, every time I get touched i feel your fingerprints burning through my skin

b. you were the first girl i ever loved and life was butterflies and rainbows around you. one time you called me to spread out the news of the happiness your new boyfriend gave you so i had my first panic attack and my heart pumped thirty times faster. i loved the way you misspelled words and your silly laugh, you’ll never know how much you truly meant to me

c. you were fun and my best friend’s girlfriend. i envied the way her lips were always bitten by you. i craved you the way a spoiled child craved a toy at his fav...

mar 10 2014 ∞
mar 10 2014 +

I woke up on a Wednesday morning, drank a cup of coffee and had a blueberry crepe for breakfast. It took me a couple hours to be fully prepared and leave to take the bus, that since the bus driver changed back in 1987, always leaves at 10:42 am.

As I walked to the bus stop, an art student I had never seen before caught my attention. I kept on walking. I arrived; we both got inside the bus.

I saw her take a sit. She sat two feet away.

She noticed the way my attention has driven by her the first bare moment I saw her. As a friendly woman she whispered “Hello” in a sweet but nervous voice, a voice that could only come from a person who had been judged before. Speechless by her stunning beauty, I was only able to smile. She smiled back.

She rolled her wide, beautiful, wooden eyes to the left craving to take a look to ...

oct 19 2013 ∞
oct 19 2013 +

I

  • "pour me another drink, lover
  • the filthy devil
  • is running the course of my blood
  • assuring you
  • my love is as pure
  • as this toxic combination."

II

  • "light up another cigarette,
  • would you darling?
  • and throw the ashes on my flesh
  • burn my bones if you might
  • don't you know i've become flammable,
  • ridiculous
  • and colorless?
  • so drink me up
  • i'm the last shot at the table
  • i promise to scorch
  • and to make you love me,
  • or him,
oct 8 2013 ∞
oct 8 2013 +

Cuando llega la noche recuerdo tu nariz frente a la mía y tus ojos mirandome inseguramente. Se me antojan tus labios y tu tristeza. Tu soledad y tu agonía. Tu humildad y dulzura. Tu sentido del humor. Odio sentirte tan cerca, sin que realmente estes aquí. Pero de todas maneras despierto cada mañana esperando, una vez más, poder admirar silenciosamente tu sonrisa.

sep 2 2013 ∞
sep 3 2013 +
  • i remember falling in love
  • with that polaroid of yours
  • and how your smile seem so genuine
  • so sincere
  • and how your eyes looked further into the sky
  • like there was something more
  • and your skin looked so smooth
  • but all i see now
  • are bags under your eyes
  • and cracks in your lips
  • and how the mystery in your eyes was nothing but ignorance
  • and emptiness
  • and how the warmth you transmitted ended up being just another lie
  • so now i realize
  • that all that i've loved of you
  • was just an illusion
  • i saw you as the bright moon's reflection on the calm water
aug 18 2013 ∞
sep 2 2013 +

I never thought these would turn out so good. I can't believe that I was the one who took them. I'm not going to lie, I actually feel a bit proud of myself for this. http://hitmenaomi.tumblr.com/post/580049...

aug 11 2013 ∞
aug 11 2013 +

Is it possible that its 7:41 pm and I do not know what to do? That in 23 seconds it will be 7:42 And that I’ll gaze blankly into a wall for the next hours as I did the last 3? As well as I’ll count every minute and second Since I’ve got nothing To do, to feel or to giggle about Because you’re not here? This shall give you an idea of how terribly I miss you. In addition to proving how much I am without you. The answer is simple, my dear, Nothing.

aug 4 2013 ∞
aug 4 2013 +

stop looking for me, please. i gave you everything and you lied to me. every day. every second we were together. you were upset and you only used me to fulfill your sick needs and to continue to feed up your massive ego. you touched me and you said you loved me and then you left saying that after all of what had happened, after me putting out my heart for you and after all those sleepless nights i had stayed up listening to you making sure you were fine, you never genuinely felt anything for me. dont pretend i dont remember, and i beg, dont expect me to come back. i've had enough of you. please dont act like the tables have turned. unlike you, i know the person i was with for five months. please, stop saying you know me or understand me. you dont.

jul 30 2013 ∞
jul 30 2013 +

for what is worth, i think you're amazing. for some reason you have been all i can think of lately.

jul 20 2013 ∞
aug 4 2013 +

Be cold and raw Push me away and harm me Tell me you don’t love me Tie me up while you beat me Make me cry Kiss somebody else Kiss me Bite my lips roughly Press the knife against my neck (It won’t be my nastiest scar anyway) Choke me if you have to Except for I beg, Don’t lay a hand on our kids.

may 26 2013 ∞
may 26 2013 +

Laying under a cherry tree on a windy afternoon I feel your fingertips running around my hand Touching softly my once lonely skin The soft scratch of your nails Is nothing other than lovely But not as much as you.

In a matter of seconds, A breeze threw a few petals on to your face. You instantly shut your eyes. Is that gesture. Is your petrified face. It is me wondering how something so soft could scare you.

Then I recall, They are not just petals. They are the flower bouquet your dad gave to your mom With the note that said he was leaving.

They are the millions of times you craved from him to be there Along with the tears of your 8 year old brother Sliding all the way through his face wondering where his “Poppa” was And you, Closing your eyes to avoid seeing your mother cry.

And then I remember, How something as swe...

mar 12 2013 ∞
mar 14 2013 +

im sorry who are u trying to impress with this

jan 17 2013 ∞
jan 20 2013 +

"i am very happy with who i am i say aloud in the car all alone while i consider driving into a tree" -flowerette

i have the biggest crush on her writing.

jan 5 2013 ∞
jan 5 2013 +

i have the constant need of keeping myself busy because if not i most likely fall into a state of depravation where my thoughts take over my actions, my words, my body and it leads me to a point where i dont even know if my mind is set in the correct place, because even if im there im not aware of anything thats happening in my surroundings but only from what is going on through my head.

dec 31 2012 ∞
jan 7 2013 +

Blinded by the light of what's virginal and pure, I'm a prude. A lame, terrified, young pupil in the search of what's correct and what's prohibited. I live in a daily bizarre confussion of the world's numerous opportunities, of it's freedom of choice, of it's freedom itself. I adore it, I admit, but I'm frighten of commiting wicked, horrid mistakes.

dec 2 2012 ∞
dec 2 2012 +

Dear, I’m sorry. From head to toe, I’m sorry. You are the most precious person in my life. You lighten my mellow days. You embrace change and you sweat ambition. You embody strength as nobody else does yet transmit such kindness and tenderness. You have the brilliant mind of a lost artist. You are open hearted and always looking forward to lend a hand for those who need it. There is no emotion as joyful as it is as when you say something and we instantly click, you know me enough to know what cracks me up in laughter. You are the one and only. There is no one like you. You hold up every little piece that is left of me and somehow manage it to put it together. I don’t know how you do it, but I owe you every bit of happiness in my life, Ale.

nov 21 2012 ∞
nov 21 2012 +

Is blood art? I whispered to myself as I slashed the tender meat in my wrists. ‘It is so beautiful’ I thought. It’s lovely and it’s pure. I know you felt the same way about it. The unique carmine color and the taste of iron made me insane. I liked it. I enjoyed every drop slowly falling through my arms, my once pure and untouched skin. I knew I had sinned. My immaculate queen, I beg for your forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it, but I beg for the pleasure to feel as you did. If it would’ve been my choice, I would’ve walk with you the first of October, 1553. My crude renaissance queen, my beloved monarch. We are both unusual and bizarre, clearly destined to the failure. But your passionate brilliant soul will always live, my Mary.

nov 20 2012 ∞
nov 21 2012 +
  • cruddy
  • looking for alaska
  • 20th century fashion
  • the great gatsby
  • el pergamino de la seduccion
  • the perks of being a wallflower
  • the pearl
nov 19 2012 ∞
nov 19 2012 +

your eyes are made out of almond bits and god how comforting they present themselves at mornings when the sun reflects on them

there are certain heat waves you can perceive from a person by standing beside them but how can yours expand so far its as if summer had taken a human form and i cant explain how wonderful your warmth kissing my skin feels

you feel so alive, youre so god damn alive and its beautiful

sep 23 2014 ∞
sep 23 2014 +

My mind has been lost, lately,

the numbness of my body is inconceivable, unexplainable

I forgot how the weight of a corpse feels

Perhaps I’ve been floating around too much

See, sometimes I doubt she is human

because when she laughs

my skin tickles and trembles

and my blood races

She is able to soften all harshness

by just posing her lips

next to mine

By simply hearing her voice

even the toughest of the worries

turn insignificant

She awakes every one of my senses,

She’s all magic in one woman

Her beauty could not be compared even

to the splendor of the entire world’s gardens.

mar 10 2014 ∞
mar 10 2014 +

I'm far too strong

or perhaps weak

to express my thoughts honestly.

Yet, dear,

I must admit,

and I'm sorry

that the devil crawls up my bed at night

and lays right beside me

He sings to me at 12:01

and finishes his verses

looking powerfully into my eyes

He has told me

over and over

I'm no good

and he is not a liar like me

Lately, I've been scared to be touched

By him, or her,

or anyone

It frightens me

Their expectations may go beyond

of what I can explain

and I'm sorry,

nov 4 2013 ∞
nov 4 2013 +
  • bjork
  • karen o
  • florence welch
oct 15 2013 ∞
oct 15 2013 +
  • To the sweetest girl I know:
  • Your voice is a melody
  • that clings onto my ears
  • and sings me to sleep
  • I'd be lying if I told you it disappears
  • When I wake up,
  • Walk, speak or eat
  • I breathe you
  • And your spirit
  • You don't never truly leave
  • And I'm glad,
  • So very glad,
  • Because it is beautiful,
  • As so you are.
sep 28 2013 ∞
sep 28 2013 +
  • i hate every wound and every scar
  • every stretch mark
  • the dryness of my lips
  • and tiredness of my eyes
  • but the thing i loathe the most
  • is the emptiness in my heart
aug 20 2013 ∞
aug 20 2013 +

im tired and sad and i just want someone to hear me

aug 13 2013 ∞
aug 13 2013 +

you are so cute and interesting and completely over me and that sucks

aug 12 2013 ∞
aug 12 2013 +

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.

aug 9 2013 ∞
aug 9 2013 +

I said this time I'd take care of myself. I promised I wouldn't skip a shot or forget to check my glucose levels. I tried my best to be happy with my weight, for once. I promised this time I'd be fine. I was going to be healthy and proud of my accomplishments. But here I am again, falling into the same cycle. Diabulimia, I hate you.

aug 3 2013 ∞
aug 3 2013 +

is like if as i were trapped in a room and the same tall brick walls that stop me from getting out are the same walls i have built for myself.

jul 22 2013 ∞
aug 4 2013 +
  • “To define is to limit.”
  • “Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”
  • “Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic."
  • “She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. I love her, and I must make her love me. I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. ”
  • "Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.”
jul 18 2013 ∞
jul 18 2013 +

I’ll open up wounds with the sweetest of words. I’ll dry your tears with my warm, soft palms & calm your nerves with a brief touch of our lips. I’ll let know you that if hurts it’s because it was good, And that if it was good it was because of you. I’ll whisper “I was pleasant” instead of saying “goodbye”. I’ll make you feel important while I break your heart. Because even though I know I’m doing you harm, I’d still want you to know that for a moment you were all I thought of.

apr 8 2013 ∞
jul 30 2013 +

I hate you. I hate the way you looked at me and gave me such sweet tenderness. I hate how your fingers slid down my pants as how they slide on your guitar. I hate your hazel green eyes. And your perfectly shaped mouth. I hate the way your teeth look like little pearls when you smile. And you make me sick talking about our future. But most importantly, I hate lying to myself saying I loathe all those things when they are the details that drive me crazy in love with you.

feb 18 2013 ∞
feb 21 2013 +
  • be fierce
  • buy fab clothes
  • date somebody
  • loose weight
  • be happier
  • read more
  • make some friends
  • have some ciggies
  • improve your writing
  • save some money for your major goal: NYC
  • be confident
  • dont worry so much
  • get vocal lessons
  • actually talk to people
  • get- fucked
  • dont look down
  • DONT BE SO SCARED K. i know you can make it.
dec 31 2012 ∞
aug 3 2013 +
  • i want you
  • i want your soft, your softest
  • i want you to whisper gently
  • i want the love, the desire
  • and when its cold
  • i want the warmth of your bare skin pressed to mine
  • i want to feel your fingers running through the tenderest parts of my body
  • i want the excitement to show through your pupils
  • i want to be breathless
  • and when you're absent
  • i want to feel the thirstiness
  • so that i can protest
  • how much i want you to come back
dec 6 2012 ∞
dec 6 2012 +
  • thick eyebrows
  • tabi boots
  • el pergamino de la seduccion (book im reading)
  • black hair
  • cola by lana del rey
  • writing
nov 23 2012 ∞
jul 18 2013 +
  • read
  • volunteer
  • singing lessons
  • get a job (hopefully at my fav store)
  • gym
  • therapy
nov 22 2012 ∞
nov 22 2012 +
list icon

i know its silly from me to expect some text messages since im not very talkative but i'd like a few every once in a while. you know, to not feel so pathetically lonely.

nov 20 2012 ∞
nov 20 2012 +
  • poetry
  • people who have alternative philosophies
  • prada ads
  • inside jokes
  • reading
  • singing while it rains
  • butterfly kisses
  • art
  • messy handwritings
  • new york city
  • coffee shops
  • the feeling you get when you fall inlove with a new record and you sing every song over and over
nov 19 2012 ∞
jul 18 2013 +