• Get some sleep.
  • Eat an orange every morning.
  • Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
  • Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
  • Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room before you save the world. Then save the world. Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.
  • Don’t stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don’t forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm’s length and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass ball collection.
  • Wear comfortable shoes.
  • Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.
  • Plan your day so you never have to rush.
  • Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if you have paid them, even if they do favors you don’t want.
  • After dinner, wash the dishes.
  • Calm down.
  • Don’t expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want to.
  • Don’t be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
  • Don’t think that progress exists. It doesn’t.
  • Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don’t do anything to make it impossible.
  • Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not possible, go to another one.
  • If you feel tired, rest.
  • Don’t be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel even older. Which is depressing.
  • Do one thing at a time.
  • If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20 minutes. you will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and gravity.
  • Do not inhale smoke.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Do not smart off to a policeman.
  • Be good.
  • Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
  • Do not go crazy a lot. It’s a waste of time.
  • Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to drink, say, “Water, please.”
  • Take out the trash.
  • Love life.
  • Use exact change.
  • When there’s shooting in the street, don’t go near the window.”

— Ron Padgett, “How To Be Perfect”

dec 28 2012 ∞
jan 25 2013 +