a selection of my personal favorites from The 99 Rules for Living in Savannah

• 1. Call it "The Book." You read it once. Years ago. Got it?
• 2. Parking Services is very, very efficient. Don't test them.
• 5. When asked about the estimated completion date of Truman Parkway, laugh.
• 9. On St. Patrick's Day, don't count on parking north of, say, DeRenne Avenue.
• 10. Leave the Spanish moss alone.
• 11. Perpetuate the myth that Victory Drive has the longest line of palm trees in the world.
• 12. If a tourist asks what that rank odor in the air is, say it's the smell of money.
• 13. Yield when entering a square.
• 16. Emphasize "East" or "West" when giving your address to a pizza delivery place.
• 22. Always order sweet tea.
• 23. Dwell on how boring the drive is every time you have to travel I-16 to Macon.
• 24. Know who Johnny Mercer was. Be able to name at least five of his songs and to sing at least three.
• 27. Remember that Vinnie Van Go-Go's does not take checks. (only cash!)
• 34. If asked to define "Abercorn," say it is an ancient Indian word meaning "traffic light every 50 feet."
• 35. You're going to be asked eventually, so know that Forrest Gump's bench was removed from Chippewa Square after filming was completed. (same goes for the bird girl)
• 42. Wish you lived at Isle of Hope.
• 51. The rest of the world calls it "the Civil War"; you call it "The War of Northern Aggression" or "The Recent Unpleasantness."
• 65. You do not need to know for whom Sallie Mood Drive and J.O. Bacon Highway are named. Oglethorpe Avenue is another matter.
• 66. Krispy Kreme on Skidaway Road is open 24 hours on weekends. Go there a lot.
• 75. Tourists spend hundreds of millions of dollars in Savannah every year. Treat them with impatience and disdain.
• 76. You may use the word "Yankee." It is not necessarily a derogatory term down here. Neither is "good ole boy."
• 91. You don't have to move your car for the street sweepers. Just for the ticket truck that follows five minutes later.
• 97. Jim Williams was right. It's the "riche" that matters.
• 98. Complain. About anything.