- the future
- a long death that renders me incapable of even being myself (whether physically and/or mentally) to my complete potential beforehand
- people leaving my life forever
- when people have complete freakouts
- motors
- the future
- cooked peppers
- change
- damage to things that mean something to me
- my privacy being invaded (and I barely keep anything private)
- life
- people
- getting taken for granted
- getting abducted
- spiders
- commitment
- religion
- close-minded people over the age of 40
- a fire burning all of my belongings
- having all of my teeth fall out
- babies
- repetitive images of strangely shaped things
- time
- people not trusting/believing me
- NYU
- Ashley Hartmann
- Bobst Library
- Union Square
- my life
- taking the first bite into a surprise lamb samosa
- department stores on 5th avenue (especially Saks)
- Certain people's perception of relationships/friendships with others
- going home
- myself
- tests, of any kind
- NYU without Loren Worsley
- Disney's Princess and the Frog
- 123people.com
- when my poop floats
- sophists
- Ralph's reign over my life
- Dana's middle drawer filled with very organized office supplies
- people that wear sunglasses in unnecessary weather conditions
- Asian mobsters
- adapting
- severe uncertainty
- the black children that are the new homepage background on listography
- the movie preview for ODDSAC
- Tom Sizemore
- people that will never comprehend/act upon what you say
- Russian mobsters
- "Home Zone" NYU Dining kiosks
- drunk driving/car accidents
- this is terrifying, I know these people
- the amount of people who have died in my high school
- slipping
- the results of face morphing
- the Koran (I don't mean to be offensive!)
- Jared Iorio's Go. Gone photo gallery
- Pitchfork
- people reading/discovering things that they shouldn't
- formspring.me
- North Korea and Kim Jong Il, however along with the complete one-sidedness of this
- bias
- misunderstanding
- panic attacks
- Greek life
- failure
- encyclopedias
- watching The Corporation whilst "privileged"
- Washington Square Park on sunny warm days
- smilesforcoffee
- third party cell phone stores
- taking naps when it's already dark out
- Washington state police officers
- unpainted toenails
- something bad happening to my car
- permanence
- inch worms
- bees
- German exchange students
- foursquare
- digital social networking in general
- depersonalization
- "art", and more so opinions in regards to "art"
- organized religion
- bees and possibly getting stung by them
- going to the gym without headphones that work properly
- waking up/getting out of the shower only to find painters outside of my window working on the outside of my house
- warm/heated blankets
- Facebook's new "See Friendship" feature
- the Singularity, and the fact that it's coming so noticeably soon
- when I'm completely immersed in the amusement of something and somebody within the scenario is actually completely serious in whatever they stand for
- entrepreneurial children (especially in generations below my own)
- anime/manga
- adults/anyone trying to assert what they believe to be their "maturity" who claim to be "fans" of anything, especially things relating to media/entertainment/culture, because all of these things are founded on complete fallaciousness
- physical attributes/changes that once acquired are going to be a part of you for the rest of your life, only to get worse and cause further deterioration
- realizing how truly fragile humanity (and the human condition) really is despite ridiculous the odds we've beat and are constantly beating and the overall resilience of the human body and mind
- the questionable proportion of roommates/suitemates I've lived with that suffer secretly from bipolarity, hypertension and uber-neuroticism vs. anyone in the world that is simply anything but these terrifying and specific qualities
- noticing that the majority of my days lately are spent in "processing time", which is essentially me finding myself in physical and mental stasis doing absolutely nothing and thinking absolutely nothing, just occupying space and doing something that has no importance to anything whatsoever, like staring in the mirror numbly attempting to eradicate the tiniest of blackheads from my face for times even up to an hour or so, which makes me very worried for myself
- the "Zombies" game mode on Call of Duty: Black Ops
- the reactions of people upon learning that "asexuals" exist, and they have absolutely no way of fathoming this - a way of life without sex driving so much of it's motivations and courses? and thoughts of sex not innately existing at all...what?!?! - this kind of thing makes me want to throw myself off a large cliff because what is so beyond the comprehension of most people in the world, apparently, has been how I've lived my entire life thus far and never thought twice about it until I couldn't help but notice that everyone around me was doing/interested/motivated by something that I always legitimately thought was a joke. The fact that I realized now that I thought everyone saw eye to eye with me on all of this until now, and that they are actually not seeing ANY of this as a legitimately hysterical, objective joke at all, after all, is the most terrifying of things in my life by far. And humanity made it this far working like THIS? I have lost faith in everything now.
- using the daily "chin meter" to asses weight gain/loss, and thus my fear of "jowls" as well.
- the "snowball" effect that comes with studentry and the panic-stricken life that it induces
- specific requirements posed upon student lives
- points of exhaustion in which I cannot distinguish the physical/mental difference between whether I can't comprehend anything I'm seeing because of either my contact lenses or simply my foggy mental state
- how a rather fine life as an only child in suburbia has "wired" me
- the amount of love my parents really do have for me
- that my parents insist that they know and understand every single thing about my life and being
- being able to notice when my body is going through withdrawals from various substances
- convention centers
- perceptions, and misperceptions, at that
nov 30 2009 ∞
jan 8 2011 +