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  • lost my virginity
  • run away from home
  • made a web mini-series
  • been a model
  • gone to cotillion
  • become valedictorian
oct 28 2012 ∞
oct 28 2012 +
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/ for my nineteenth birthday, february 28

  • ✖ for a 3.75 GPA
  • ✔ for a zap-pad (just like Zenon)
  • ✖ for AT&T to hurry up and get 4G
  • ✔ for the ability to clean my goddamn room sometimes
  • ✔ that I will learn to develop real friendships
  • ✔ that I will overcome my past
  • ✖ that I will turn in all my assignments on time
  • ✔ that my sister will be happy and healthy
  • ✔ that someone will fall in love with me
  • ✔ to be a little less A.D.D.
  • ✔ to be able to dance
  • ✔ to be able to run well
  • ✔ to be beautiful in a Natalie Portman fashion
feb 21 2011 ∞
mar 29 2012 +
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sum·mer: (verb) to spend or pass the summer. sum·mered, sum·mer·ing

  • ✖ get my braces off
  • ✖ get some schooling
  • ✔ get a pottermore account
  • ✔ travel to London and Paris
  • ✔ enjoy my vacation
  • ✔ meet some strangers
  • ✔ get some culture
  • ✔ develop a new personality
  • ✖ speak softly with dramatic gestures
  • ✔ rediscover a love of reading in crowded places
  • ✔ fall in lust
  • ✖ go to the beach
feb 5 2011 ∞
mar 29 2012 +
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  • the ability to make myself sick
  • my mind
  • every grandfather I've ever had
  • my strawberry blonde locks
  • my self-esteem (sixth grade)
  • my phone for several hours (at a rave in eight grade)
  • the ability to lie (ninth grade)
  • my once beautiful, green eyes (thanksgiving)
  • cameo pendant (at Cumberland Island)
  • the most perfect heart shaped glasses (at Cumberland Island)
  • my panda bathing suit (twelfth grade)
  • meteorite necklace (the hot tub at Panama City Beach)
  • my dinner and several hours of memory (at SCAD on 09 apr 2011)
  • my tiger's eye scrying pendulum (in Paris)
jul 26 2010 ∞
jul 19 2011 +
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  • being home alone on a sunlit afternoon
  • having someone at night to snuggle up to
  • sleeping in
  • surviving something terrifying no worse for the ware
  • boys with wavy, brown, shoulder-length hair
  • warm, well lit rooms
  • handwritten letters
  • buying secondhand books for less than a dollar
  • listening to "old time rock and roll" as I devour strawberry waffles
  • old souls
  • learning without the pressure to succeed
  • boys that fancy me
  • things that taste like fire
  • feeling warm, safe, and content
  • taking a deep, steadying breath
  • telling stories
  • magical adventures
  • enjoying the cinema by myself
jan 14 2011 ∞
aug 18 2011 +
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  • accepting complements
  • being free of panic attacks
  • eating sparingly and regularly
  • no longer craving things with my entire body
  • living in reality
  • no longer fighting to get up in the morning
  • seeing beauty in everything
  • being less angry and vindictive
  • doing things vivaciously
  • wanting to grow and develop past my personalities
feb 3 2011 ∞
feb 5 2011 +
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  • trying foolishly to blame his sister instead of standing up for myself when I wrote "I love you" on Nick C.'s computer
  • asking my sister not to get my in trouble when I bruised her butt with compressed air
  • that I've never had to try to make friends and that I don't care enough to try to keep them
  • not listening better to the people I care about
  • always one-uping everyone's stories. though is was cool in elementary school, I regret the last time I ever did so (in seventh grade). I still haven't lived it down.
  • anorexia
  • not saying yes to the handful of boys that asked me out in high school
  • going to SCAD as opposed to going out with the too-cool-for-me ginger who wanted t...
jul 26 2010 ∞
feb 12 2012 +
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  • hyperventilating
  • cradling my head in my hands
  • holding my stomach like I'm falling to pieces
  • half smiles framing words like 'I'm fine' and 'maybe we could do this later'
  • screaming, bawling, and other degrading public displays
  • drinking two-liters of mountain dew
  • not eating
  • not sleeping
  • not talking
  • not paying attention to you, class, or even living
  • not wanting to get out of bed
  • using the word never repeatedly in conjunction to the future
  • singing myself to sleep through my sobs
  • lying in a ball on the floor for hours
  • seeming generally distressed and inconsolable for days
  • a perpetual migraine (which is rather red...
oct 12 2010 ∞
oct 12 2010 +
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  • Bill and Ted
  • Doc Brown and Marty McFly
  • James Cole
  • Donnie Darko
  • Henry DeTamble
  • the Doctor
  • Hermione Granger
  • Captain Kirk
  • Frank Parker
  • Jenna Rink
  • Ebeneezer Scrooge
  • George Taylor
  • the Terminator
  • Evan Treborn
nov 11 2010 ∞
nov 11 2010 +
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  • my mouth is being cut by loose wires from my braces
  • my hand is still hurting from my I.V.
  • my lower back is aching from the new, too firm bed
  • my feet are far too cold
  • my muscles are creaking and groaning
  • my head is throbbing
  • my posture is horrendous
  • my ears are soar from so much pressure
nov 19 2010 ∞
nov 19 2010 +
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  • Azad, the Persian pirate
  • Jack Heart, prince of wonderland
  • John Cusack, defending an alternate world from aliens
  • Marcus Kingsly, whom I found through a glass igloo in the attic
jan 11 2011 ∞
feb 14 2011 +
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  • good booze
  • great friendships
  • love affairs
  • expeditions overseas
  • childhood memories
  • sean connery
feb 14 2011 ∞
feb 14 2011 +
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  • chocolate
  • notebooks
  • water


  • a futon
  • a keyboard
  • an iPhone 5
  • wireless mouse
  • wireless printer
sep 10 2010 ∞
mar 29 2012 +
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  • asks for permission to do things
  • even when he never intends to follow through
  • stares at me from across the room
  • gives me space but clings to me when I'm in his arms
  • never stands for anyone putting me down
  • talks about our make-believe life in present tense
  • always has his own opinion
  • but listens to mine regardless
  • loves that I don't understand girly things and yet still want to clean my room in heels and pearls
  • genuinely believes that he loves me
  • tells me when he's made a mistake
  • and doesn't force me to forgive him
  • is gonna be the one who saves me
apr 4 2011 ∞
apr 4 2011 +
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things I use to repeat incessantly, despite the fact that they gave me the heebie jeebies.

  • "one fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight." from the poem two dead boys
  • "one, two, freddy's coming for you. three, four, better lock the door. five, six, grab a crucifix. seven, eight, gonna stay up late. nine, ten, never sleep again." from a nightmare on elm street (1984)
  • "now he's coming through the woods, now he's coming through the yard, now he's coming in the house, now he's coming up the stairs." from night visions (1.07)
  • "a-tisket a-tasket, a victim in a casket."
  • "ladybird, o fly now up into the sky now, hark to the drumming, now the turks are coming; hurry, hurry will you 'for they catch and kill you, pickle you in brine, t...
jun 9 2011 ∞
feb 12 2012 +
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  • going to bed alone
  • dying slowly
  • facing the elements
  • moving to a foreign country
  • becoming famous or beautiful
  • losing my wanderlust or sense of wonder
  • someone loving me unconditionally
  • developing food allergies
  • finding my life unlived
jan 18 2011 ∞
aug 18 2011 +
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  • go to work (at my job)
  • do my homework before the deadline
  • call my friends and family just to say hello
  • say yes to boys that fancy me
  • enjoy the day
  • read a book in one sitting
  • turn off the telly
  • turn down sugary confections when I'm not hungry
  • think long and hard about whether or not I actually need something before I buy it
  • spend time with the people I car about
  • think about other people's well being above my own
  • just be happy for my friends when they do better than me; don't think less of myself because of it
  • drink water instead
  • exercise a little
oct 15 2010 ∞
feb 15 2011 +
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  • turn every telly in your house to your favorite show
  • sing along to every stupid song on the radio
  • play dress up
  • run around naked
  • bake in your heels and pearls
  • read a book with the sunlight on your face
  • light candles in the dark
  • stay in bed all day
  • write bad poetry
  • pretend you're in love
nov 8 2010 ∞
nov 8 2010 +
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  • into my lover's arms
  • a bay window by the sea
  • to the end of the world
  • my childhood
  • whichever book I happen to be reading
  • the lake on a chilly night that's far too bright
  • an empty, poorly lit room in which my conscience and I often converse
  • the world as it would appear in a video game (like in dothack or caprica)
  • a house of one way mirrors looking in on hundreds of simple lives
nov 15 2010 ∞
nov 15 2010 +
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  • do everything you do with passion
  • never be bored
  • never stay in one place
  • say what you mean and mean what you say
  • don't complain unless you can change something
  • things that are not can become when you pretend
  • talk softly; people will try harder to hear
  • saying, "No," feels good
  • scream when you need to
  • do what you want, when you want, how you want
  • never let people dictate you unless you know they know better
  • exaggerate your emotions immensely
  • never close your eyes; you might miss something
  • love everything you can
oct 9 2010 ∞
oct 19 2010 +
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these may not be my favorite songs, but they make me yearn and ache and long for more. and I think that's the most poetic feeling in the world.

  • almost lover by a fine frenzy
  • boy with a coin by iron and wine
  • bruises by chairlift
  • build god, then we'll talk by panic at the disco
  • calendar girl by stars
  • complement each other like colors by playradioplay
  • creep by radiohead
  • every me and every you by placebo
  • honeythief by halou
  • it's not a fashion statement by my chemical romance
  • love rhymes with hideous car accident by the blood brothers
  • lover i don't have to love by bright eyes
  • lua by bright eyes
  • modern swinger by the pink spiders
  • my beautiful rescue by this providence
  • my only friend by ronnie day
  • now that we're done by metro station
oct 13 2010 ∞
oct 13 2010 +
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  • family: i love you because*
  • food: heart warmers*
  • observations: how to live magically*
  • observations: i don't like being constantly socail*
  • observations: lost things*
  • observations: sources of melancholy*
  • observations: wonderful sensations*
  • people: i have always missed*
  • people: noms de plume*
  • things: that suck about breaking up*
  • wishlist: impossible*
  • words: lovely french terms with no sufficient translation*
oct 19 2010 ∞
nov 11 2010 +
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  • i'm insecure
  • thus i instinctively say "no" when i'm asked out
  • because i assume it's a joke
  • because i know no one would ever actually want to be with me
  • and nobody has ever liked me enough to ask twice
  • all i'm good for is a vagina
  • all i'm good for is cleaning your house
  • all i'm good for is making babies
  • all i'm good for is watching you play video-games, hanging out with your friends, and watching action movies since i don't like chick-flicks in the first place
  • and feminists have even taken those cards out of my deck
  • since now i'm going against my own sex when i use any of these strengths as my selling points
  • and since i've yet to be notified of any ...
oct 13 2010 ∞
oct 13 2010 +
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  • atlantis
  • cupid and psyche's
  • hogwarts
  • the looking glass in my dreams
  • neverland
  • the pirate ship in my head
  • sepulchres by the sea
  • the tardis
  • u.s.s. enterprise
  • wonderland
oct 11 2010 ∞
oct 11 2010 +
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jun 28 2010 ∞
feb 14 2011 +
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  • the game telephone
  • math
  • getting boys to agree to be her boyfriend
  • confrontation
  • expressing her feelings to anyone other than Kathy and Christina
  • voicing her needs and desires
  • normal social interactions
  • getting things done in a timely manner
aug 24 2012 ∞
oct 15 2012 +
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  • clean out my closet at home
  • go through my stuff in storage
  • inventory my books
  • inventory my dvds
  • inventory my vhs'
  • ✔ figure out how I want my room to look
  • ✔ budget for my big-ticket items (school)
  • ✔ finalize my school schedule
  • ✔ figure out how I'm paying for school
jun 13 2011 ∞
aug 18 2011 +
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  • I am as good at following instructions as I am at giving them.
  • I work well under odd hours.
  • I can read lips.
  • I know multiple languages to moderate fluency.
  • I'm pretty but not very memorable.
  • I blend in well.
  • I do well in isolation.
  • I am a good team player, but I do just as well on my own.
  • I am a good improviser.
  • I'm very observant to the point of being a little paranoid - if something can go wrong, it will, so I make sure I'm prepared for it.
  • I don't have any tattoos or bodily marks.
  • I do well with lose and don't let it effect me.
  • Hunger isn't debilitating for me.
may 10 2012 ∞
may 10 2012 +
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  • a futon
  • a keyboard piano
  • a tv stand (like my window bench)
  • sheer curtains
  • a framed tron poster
  • a star projector
jun 13 2011 ∞
jun 13 2011 +
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as long as you'll let me grab just these few simple things, I'll go anywhere you'd take me.

  • luxuries
    • my phone, wallet, and keys
    • netbook
    • camera
    • a deck of cards
    • a book
  • hygiene
    • rose salve, rejuvalash, solid shampoo and conditioner, soap, lotion, razors, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, hair-ties, nail clippers, and tweezers
  • clothes for my back
    • three long sleeve shirts
    • three short sleeve shirts
    • one pair of jeans
aug 10 2010 ∞
aug 10 2010 +
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  • a changeling
  • cinderella
  • a ghost
  • sleeping beauty
  • wendy darling
  • a witch
apr 5 2011 ∞
apr 6 2011 +
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  • b - t - dubs
  • indubitably
  • you're awesome
  • asshole spider
  • what the frell?
  • why is it so cold?
  • billy (my belly) is so hungry
  • it's too bad he's/she's dead
nov 7 2010 ∞
feb 15 2011 +
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astrophysics major:

  • astronomy 120, 121, 121L, 300, 301, 400: 3/6
  • physics 110, 111, 210, 211: 1/7
  • three additional 300-level physics courses
  • mathematics 118, 119, 220: 2/3

classics minor:

  • six courses of 2 or more credits in Greek, Latin or classics: 3/4
  • at least two courses of 2 or more credits at the 300 level: 0/2

classics major:

  • one language course above Latin 202
  • classical history and culture 121 and 122
  • classical literature 232, 322 or 331
  • at least five other courses selected from Greek, Latin and Classics, including Art 201, Philosophy 206 and Philosophy 321
nov 10 2010 ∞
jan 23 2012 +
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  • my weight
  • my grades
  • losing my all teeth
  • not being good enough
  • locking myself out of my room
  • how my asceticism has scared me
  • the way I don't eat
  • the way I don't sleep
  • the way I hate myself
  • the way I jones for alcohol no matter how long I go without
  • my genetics and if my kids will hate me for them
  • only being able to determine my self-worth through being better than everyone around me and how broken up I will get when I realize (as I always eventually do) that I'm not
  • that eventually everyone will realize how empty I am
  • that I will never find happiness or conte...
oct 11 2010 ∞
oct 13 2010 +
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  • the magical train ride I took with my papa
  • painting Samantha C. as blue as a smurf, head to toe
  • horseback riding with my mother up in north GA
  • watching Stephan lick his cellphone battery for fun
  • the late-afternoon that I met Cody M.
  • my lunchtime adventures at the Drewtopian table
  • staying up with Cody M. all night on the phone
  • the week I spent with Cara L. at PCB
jan 9 2011 ∞
feb 13 2011 +
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  • am I doing this right?
  • to whom should I be speaking?
  • do I really have all the information they'll ask for?
  • why are they talking to me like I'm stupid?
  • did I actually hear that correctly?
  • please, don't think that I sound distracted.
  • will I be able to reach them if I need to make a change?
  • why the hell is my computer suddenly making all this fucking noise while I'm making this uber fucking important phone call?
  • I can't find a pen to write this shit down.
  • where can I keep this info now so that I don't lose it?
  • what if I miss my appointment?
  • will you think I'm a douche?
nov 17 2010 ∞
nov 17 2010 +
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  • Cassiopeia Anastasia Natasha Surname
  • Melanie Winnifred Alice Surname


  • Mitchel Christoph Alexander Surname
  • Nicholas Edward Nathanial Surname
jul 21 2010 ∞
nov 15 2010 +
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  • counselors consistently say my issues are above their pay-grade and recommend me to someone else
  • they seem to want to go on tangents whenever I am trying to make a point
  • I always have to watch my words -
  • lest I get the "but that's not what you said" speech
  • lest I get the "we may need to notify someone" speech
  • I always leave feeling like I was abused in my childhood
  • I don't understand therapy; when I have a cold, I take medicine; when I have a panic attack or depression, I'm to relive it all over again
  • I know when it started, what triggered it, the symptoms, the warning signs, and have come to terms with it, I just want to get healthy
  • I wonder if I might as well have been tal...
oct 20 2010 ∞
oct 20 2010 +