✧ PREVIOUSLY:

• there's not much to say because even though octopath was cool and there were fun moments, your grandmother passed away. you now go into a month with a stress-packed school year, funerals, and more serious stuff for you

✧ PREDICTING TEARS, TRAUMA, AND TENSE TEXTBOOKS:

• 08/01/2023 ➣ such a depressing phone call filled with shouting and arguing over funeral details, you just want all of this to end. imagine dealing with 1400 hairties. you can't even talk to friends with the loud discussions in the background. splatoon 2 is alright.
• 08/02/2023 ➣ you found out about your class schedule and its pretty good, sure a few changes gotta be made. it's just gonna be filled to the brim with stress. you dealt with a lot of inventory. you had a good talk with your elementary school friend about your academic future.
• 08/03/2023 ➣ you talk with your employees about your thoughts for the upcoming school year.
• 08/04/2023 ➣ after forever you got your permit and now you are a nice 5" 10'. however, it seems like they finally realized that you need glasses. did you just make yourself more depressed than you needed to be. why did you think such things about your thoughts about your progress. that splatoon level was annoying as hell.
• 08/05/2023 ➣ it was quick, but you finished the main story of splatoon 2 and you must admit that calamari inkantion goes crazy.
• 08/06/2023 ➣ church was annoying as always. what was even more annoying was your two cousins coming over due to the family discussing the upcoming funeral. you wake up to notice you have 3 minutes to submit some work, just do it tomorrow.
• 08/07/2023 ➣ you finished secret invasion and realized how bad and disappointing it was; another marvel L. you reached lvl 100 in fortnite. you cleaned up your room. you preordered some bracelets from your friend.
• 08/08/2023 ➣ because your mother wanted to go to ross, you had to go to work an hour later than usual. you did a lot of prep for the celebration as well as some schoolwork on the side. your favorite class of 2023 graduate has sent her farewells as she goes on to college. you saw friends from both school and the internship and now realize that season 3 is around the corner.
• 08/09/2023 ➣ you kept on waking up in the middle of the night, you had weird dreams about old friends who you no longer talk to because of issues. family issues just have to happen even though we are trying to get a funeral done and over with.
• 08/10/2023 ➣ bungo mayoi hates you, did not give you the surfer odasaku or some cards you wanted from the download celebrations scout.
• 08/11/2023 ➣ you played a ton of breath of the wild.
• 08/12/2023 ➣ today was the first funeral. you cried a lot.
• 08/13/2023 ➣ "the wind swayed the flowers. that bloomed in our city. they called my name. that’s my sign. the wind swayed the flowers. that bloomed in our city. they called my name. that’s my sign."
• 08/14/2023 ➣ you cooked some bbq and lemon pepper wings. you finished the genshin story quest known as caribert and hu tao's story quest. you prepare for next week, the start of season 3.
• 08/15/2023 ➣ you had a very upset stomach.
• 08/16/2023 ➣ it was the orientation and a long day. you had to help teachers put stuff on their walls, it was horrible. you had to work in the rain, again and things were just stressful.
• 08/17/2023 ➣ life is just stressful man. you just could not focus on the work. your production really hurt due to all the bad thoughts in your head.
• 08/18/2023 ➣ today was your final day of volunteering, you said goodbye to all your coworkers, knowing you'll see them soon.
• 08/19/2023 ➣ you played a ton of genshin and finished the archon quest, as light rain falls without reason. you reflect on the two earlier years of school.
• 08/20/2023 ➣ you stay up at night preparing for tomorrow.

✧ STRUGGLING FOR PROPER FOOTING:

• 08/21/2023 ➣ you're back for a third season. first period was chill for ap chem, definitely gonna be a work class. second period is more tense, and everyone is relying on you, but if you stay in there, as long as you don't get on the teacher's bad side, you're good. you also cleared up some drama that was present ever since preschool and it traumatized you so much back then. third period was really chill, just preparing for future. fourth period was chill, but dtb girl has a bf now? also, the gang is all together but not you, it hurts so bad. but things just feel weird, you feel too lonely. but it was great receiving hugs, catching up, being surprised by old friends. "the wind swayed the flowers. that bloomed in our city. they called my name. that’s my sign. he wind swayed the flowers. that bloomed in our city. they called my name. that’s my sign." you talked to your friend and he reminded you of the good memory when your ex-friend bought you pizza, hope you're safe out there, love.
• 08/22/2023 ➣ you seem to work a lot better at midnight with all the songs. you have a lot of assignments to do. fifth period was chill, you got some new bracelets from your friend, you hyped up your club, and it's good to stay near computer science. sixth period was a clutch study hall where you got your teacher in the last second, but you spent all the time helping out your advisor. seventh period was also alright, even know you are not supposed to be there for long, however, you are going to get switched to potentially another ap class. you got to talk about your loss with your friend and just how you feel about things. finally, 8th period was also chill, but you had to deal with an annoying future super senior but your teacher was nice about your score and things were chill. that walk was a good walk.
• 08/23/2023 ➣ king of the clouds is a top song now because you fell asleep to it. the voices are back as well as the dread nightmares. first period was tiring, second period was kind of stressful, third was a peaceful break while walking around the school, only for fourth to seem easy so far. it seems like both you and your friend don't like how separated you guys are, maybe you'll bring it up later with her.
• 08/24/2023 ➣ 12am - 5am is such a peaceful time. it is probably because no one expects anything from you except for you to go to sleep. but the fact that these nightmares are back and you got to go to jamaica for the funeral is rough. the plane got delayed because "the ac broke" only for the parts to come back quickly and get everyone boarding again. you are now stuck in rural jamaica, a place that is filled with stray dogs, horrible roads, crazy people, guns, flies, poor infrastructure, and much more, let's hope you get back home safe. you can't stand nigh night, its too much celebration for someone that you mourn for.
• 08/25/2023 ➣ you wake up knowing you're still away from school. sandy bay was the worst, you were supposed to be there for like an hour but ending up staying the entire day. what did you do, tutor, deal with a stupid argument, sweat, and much more.
• 08/26/2023 ➣ you prepare for the funeral. you said the scripture pslams 90:1-12. you rode in a limo with some annoying elementary school counsins. you saw your grandmother one last time before she was buried, you cried a lot. you chilled with annoying children until the end of the day.
• 08/27/2023 ➣ you start the day finishing up assignments. you go to mineral heights to meet up with your mother's old friends and family. you remember the streets of mineral heights and feel nice. let's get this straight, the airport got broken machines that are forcing you to pay more, pee in urinals, broken stalls, only 8 seats for "premium members" and more shit, damn. you are finally back home.
• 08/28/2023 ➣ you got a sore throat. you are back at school and see such a nice text from a friend that no longer goes to your school. your friend gives you two bracelets and it looks like she is inches from a new relationship. you go around walking around the school for fire academy stuff knowing you look gay af.
• 08/29/2023 ➣ getting back into the jist of things takes some time, but chem is going find. and you were able to fix things with lang and bio or whatever. but when your friends came in, you just ended up falling to your doom from off the stool.
• 08/30/2023 ➣ new fifth period, too bad some friends gotta switch out of it. but it's pretty bad, a teacher who has no voice, crazy gum on the seats, just forgetting about some people, and more. there's an assembly and you could've spoke but it is whatever, you would've trash talked your class anyway. an extra study hall leaves you in the media center and guidance. crazy. you tell your friend some truth to getting into upenn.
• 08/31/2023 ➣ just writing notes and doing work here and there. but the voices just want to come back. your ap lang teacher seems to be in surgery. and you help your advisor with some of her personal schoolwork. your friend seems to be having issues with her new boyfriend and that boyfriend's ex. everyone thinks you are crazy for taking ap chem and bio. but things are just so weird when you always switching between your friend groups. you got some text messages coming in from a middle school friend. ivy leagues seem impossible and your grandmother's birthday is tomorrow. you are not even writing today properly, but whatever. at least jjk season 2's shibuya arc op and episode go hard. you are my special. we're special.

✧ MONTH CLOSURE:

• this month was just weird. it's weird having a death in your close family, the woman who raised you for 14 years who lived across from your room has passed away. it will be a scar to never fully recover from. that along with the stress of another school year, a very stressful school year with an insane course load. the voices have shown themselves again and so much more, but you just gotta prepare for the worst, and get out of the iron cage.