✧CONTEMPLATING THE PAST AS YOU MAKE YOUR TO THE NEXT CHAPTER:

• it was a month of non-stop challenges, balancing college applications, tough courses, and intense school events, with a mix of both high-energy and exhausting days. from chemistry exams and calculus dbas to harvest drive meetings and nsu events, you were constantly on the move—sometimes literally, carrying boxes and setting up displays. music from tyler, the creator and set it off became the soundtrack, giving you that boost when things got overwhelming. you shared moments of camaraderie and frustration with friends, faced family tensions, and went head-to-head with your academic workload, tackling essays, scholarship applications, and late-night study sessions. between dunkin' gift cards and wearing pink for breast cancer awareness, you found pockets of brightness, even as you questioned whether all this effort would pay off. finishing those 25 college apps became a mission. by the end of the month, you were drained but still holding steady, ready to see what november had in store. momma, i'm gonna make it out.

✧ PRELUDE TO A WEEK OF ACADEMIC HELL AND THE TRIP OUT OF STATE:

• 11/01/2024 ➣ maybe you'll change (oh). abandon all your wicked ways (one day). make amends and start anew again. maybe you'll see. all the wrongs you did to me (one day). and start all over, start all over-. oh my god, who am i kidding? now, let's not get overzealous here. you've always been a huge piece of shit. if i could kill you, i would, but it's frowned upon in all 50 states. having said that, burn in hell. yeah (where's the little fucker?). oh, oh, oh, oh. so, tell me how you're sleeping easy. how you're only thinking of yourself. show me how you justify. telling all your lies like second nature. listen, mark my words, one day (one day). you will pay, you will pay. karma's gonna come collect your debt. (fuck off). wolf in sheep's clothing reborn sounds amazinggggg. you helped your teacher make the best letter of reccommendation he could ever make. then you get some more work done, do the interview with your other friend that went succesfully. you finish up a lot of sociology work and you applications to uf, georiga tech, and howard. finally, you talk with friends and prepare to go home.

✧ VISITING THE CITY AMONG THE HILLS AND IN THE WOODS

• 11/02/2024 ➣ and you watched spider-man homecoming and played gartic phone with friends. then after getting no sleep, you had to shower and take a chemistry exam at 3am in the morning. now you have zero sleep and you arrive to get ready to travel. it was tiring and a lot of walking, but you got on the plane, you immediately fell asleep and woke up in atlanta, georgia. you take a subway, get your bags, and head to the coca cola factory and then the georiga aquarium. you were only able to get a souvenior for your dad and not for your mom. you took tons of pictures and had a lot of fun at funspot where you road your first rollercoaster and the slingshot and more. you were a passenger princess for a bit and your friend drove you through dirt, reckless drivers, and a broken down car. there was a creepy employee who talked about diddy when you said your friend and you were on the other side of the machine. then you get to your hotel and chill, only to be imprisoned by tape. you got knocked out to sleep.
• 11/03/2024 ➣ you wake up in the middle of the night in your hotel room. you quietly get ready but you were awake because of your poor sleep schedule and dreams about school. maybe you need to take a standardized test again. after being woken three times by the stupid phone, you get some breakfast and get ready to head out. the first trip is the birth home of martin luther king jr, his resting place, and a museum about him and ghandi. you took some pictures and placed importance on how we need to support each other, no matter the color of our skin. then head over to delta airlines to learn about aviation. many cool pictures were taken but at the same time you were able to fly a flight simulator and learn about your friends love for aviation. it was a very interesting flight simulator with so many details, and it was good experience. then you struggled to skate for a good hour or two and fell down hard. then you head back to the hotel with the boys and got a bunch of pizza while the middle schoolers swam in the pool. while some high schoolers were in the gym and others were chatting, you found a pool chair and just sat there and listened to tyler the creator and kendrick lamar. you didn't want to disturb anyone, so you kept isolated. then you and the boys ate pizza and talked and messed with the girls about spitting in leftovers, it was hilarious. one of them got a number of a girl and it was just chill time. but it was time to sleep, the tape was on the door, and then you guys head to sleep.
• 11/04/2024 ➣ so today is the last day of the trip and you got up in the middle of the night to take a shower again. you then finally put on another good fit with a nice blue blazer and you head out. you see the results of the foolish activities you and the boys did last night with the food and the "spit". after all of that, you head out on the trip and you head over to the mercedes-benz stadium to explore the stem parts about it. it was fun, you picked up a football that the players use to play with, and then you head to some colleges. you pass georiga tech, but you never got the chance to visit it because they only do tours on tuesdays and thursdays so you'll have to miss it. then you head over to clarkson for lunch and you must admit you love the lunch system they have going on, hope it is the same when you go to college. you then take a small walk around the campus with the freezing winds and then split up from the girls to morehouse. the tour was nice and the tour guide was a very interesting person with many morehouse ideals and even though you won't end up at morehouse, you will go improve yourself to a point where you will be amazing but not because of your color of your skin. yet, you will represent every ounce of melanin inside of you. you also fianlly find a gift for your mom and play smash bros with some of the kids. you still think your friend might not be fucking with you rn so just get out of her way. but you guys got to leave for the airport immediately. despite you guys rushing like you were about to miss the flight, you guys actually are two whole hours early before departure. you guys eat some popeyes, you ask if your friend is alright, you upload some stories highlighting the rest of the trip, and then you take the ride home. you could not relax on the trip because one of the guys is a lil too big. but you go home, return your blazer, and find your way home to your mom and your house. "i hope you find your way home. i hope you find your way home. i (find your way home, yeah, hope you find your way home). hope you (hope you find your way home, i hope you find your way home). find your way home (i hope you find your way home, i hope you find your way home) (i hope you find your way home, i hope you find your way home). i (find your way home, i hope you find your way home). hope you (hope you find your way home, i hope you find your way home). find your way home (i hope you find your way home, i hope you find your way home)."

✧ FEAR OF THE ENEMY SHALL ALWAYS DRIVE US TO TAKE UP ARMS:

• 11/05/2024 ➣ you make it back to the foundation and your mom picks up up from your trip. today is election day, and perhaps the fate of the country will be decided today. you go ahead and vote for the first time and then get some breakfast at dunkin. you then head over to your auntie's house to see your dog friend again and his new cat companion. abby, the dog, is getting a lot older as he is 11. you went home and you started your college admissions board while listening to one of your fav youtubers omni stream about the election. while you listen, you see and hear the fears of your friends who are immigrants, gay, trans, women, and a lot more. you believe you voted for the right party.
• 11/06/2024 ➣ you wake up for school and a lot of work with your professional engineering attire. you go to school and a friend tells you who won the election. apparently it happened in the middle of the night and you had no idea. friends and others are crying, joking to cope, raising their voices at each other and are upset at the result, so much for your first vote. you waited quite awhile for the event to happen, but you and the forty something other students successfully did their job and got things done. after thanking your teacher for the letter of reccommendation, then you sit down to talk more to students about the election and watched your teacher get grilled for choosing the "bad" candidate. you terrorized your friend by calling you someone that talks to minors by slowing walking up to her around the classroom and kicking her only item of defense out the way. then you got some more work done and head to sleep.
• 11/07/2024 ➣ you are very frustrated and don't want to go to school but you do it anyways. you first got to deal with an interview in the morning and reschedule another one for tomorrow. then you go around to some classes talking about internships while talking to your ap euro teacher about your atlanta trip. then you break to prepare for your calculus dba and relax some more with some youtube videos. you go home, you sleep away and go on a meeting and discuss future nhs plans and the frustrating reality of fundraising. then you do your calculus dba, do some chemistry work, and try organizing and motivating yourself for the upcoming month. sadly, thought i was dead by tyler the creator is very fitting on how you feel about your school right now. "i don't wanna be found (mmh, uh), i don't wanna be down (mmh, uh). i don't wanna be found (mmh, uh), i don't wanna be down (mmh, uh). i don't wanna be found (woo). i don't wanna be down (oh, you know tyler, his talk). i don't wanna be found (i'm so sick of these niggas). i don't wanna be down (they don't know you, get off you). white boys mockin' this shit and y'all mad at me. y'all can suck my dick (suck my dick). pull up old tweets, pull up old t-shirts, all that. i moonwalk over that bitch (hee-hee). t-t changed like the fit got dirty. i was young man then a nigga hit thirty. i was one mil' then a nigga hit thirty. bitch, you ain't coco gauff, you can't serve me (mmh, uh). you anti-war? hm, yeah, right. niggas runnin' they mouth, keep it airtight. i'ma crash shit out 'til my hair white (mmh, uh). i got too much drive, i'm a terabyte (mmh, uh). i got a big ol' head, i ain't like these niggas. uh-uh, don't put me with these niggas. i'on ha-ha, keke with these niggas. loiter squad, baby, i don't be with these niggas. same boys with me since back-back then (mmh, uh). everything i said i do, i did (true story). talk my shit? i sure damn will (mmh, uh). you ain't like that shit? i's do it again (mmh, uh). five in the morning, i be hatin' on shit (mmh, uh). ten in the evening, i be hatin' on shit (mmh, uh). ten years later, mighta changed my mind (mmh, uh). i'm a fake-ass bitch, don't kill me (mmh, uh). i'm a hypocrite, ain't real, ain't really. i'm a big troll, haha, i'm silly (i'm silly). fuck you know about being better than them niggas that you hate? you ain't good at shit, you can't feel me tuck your one-trick goat, i'm billy (mmh, uh) shoutout papa, he for real (mmh, yeah, uh). don't test v, he pop for real. had to call him like, "stop and chill", look. i tries to be out the way. i like the farm with the lake, i like some truth in my space. y'all niggas friendly and fake. "that's big bro, " how? when y'all met yesterday?. this feel planet of the apes why am i filled with this hate? got freedom in every way y'all wanna take what i got, but y'all do not got what it take i don't wanna be found, ya ho i don't wanna be down, ya ho i don't like comin' around, ya ho. i will not knock-knock at your door. just me, that's what i said trav', these niggas is fed. me, i'm overhead. these niggas thought i was dead."
• 11/08/2024 ➣ you wake up to put on a lumberjack fit and prepare a brunch for some veterans. it starts off with an interview with someone in the airforce and gaining some insight into their life. then you monitor the entire presentation from the sound room in the auditorium and properly manage tasks. finally, you fix things up and eat well and see everyone working together, even some of your friends from other clubs and places show up to help out. you then struggle with your engineers to get a table through a door, but then you head home and work on college applications.
• 11/09/2024 ➣ as you get ready to head out the door for crockett, your phone falls from your bed and the screen is no longer working. you panic because now you can barely make calls and you might lose pictures, but that shouldn't be too big of a loss. you meet up with your crockett crew and talk about the atlanta trip and how fun it was. you go back home phoneless and try to call your mom with a stupid phone and an annoying old laptop, even though both products are honestly really great and have helped you a lot the pass few years. you feel defeated, and this stops you from getting work done.
• 11/10/2024 ➣ another day without a working phone, what do you do. you purchase and download mario and luigi brothership along with the paper mario thousand year door remake. you it a bit and play fortnite with a friend. you start making your plan for the rough month that is november. you get some calculus and chemistry work out the way.
• 11/11/2024 ➣ you wake up to a stupid alarm that can't turn off due to your phone screen being broken. you lost a whole hour of sleep because the stupid alarm couldn't turn off properly. you wake back up after a rude awakening to get ready to go to the apple store and fix this mess. on the way, you go through this rich ahh mall filled with rich clothes, rich brands, rich architecture, to the point where the vibe is just different. you and your mom look around and get chick fil a, but you now have a greater desire to make money. once you get your phone back, you makeup some progress on phantom parade, genshin, and bungo tales, play some more brothership, and get some work done.
• 11/12/2024 ➣ you played genshin, jjk phantom parade, bungo tales, brothership, and fortnite. then you lock in and get some stuff done. afterwards, you head out for a financial literacy workshop.
• 11/13/2024 ➣ you're tired again but you get to school to do some for harvest drive. lots of moving boxes and other crazy things. eventually you finish packing up goods and moving boxes around with the crew. you then skipped out on the last bit to talk with friends about your gay survey and other things, but you go home, sleep, work, and same old thing.
• 11/14/2024 ➣ you're up late at night getting work done for chemistry, precalc, and art appreciation. you then get to school and spend the entire day doing stuff for harvest drive. this means packing bags, packing goods, and so much more stuff to get done. eventually all the work got done and you then discussed immature people who keep on making stupid decisions. once you get home, you work on art appreciation, precalc, and a test, and head to bed.
• 11/15/2024 ➣ you got your first acceptance into your school. you go to school to prepare to clean up after harvest drive and to do a presentation for some middle school kids. only to find out that there was no reason to really go today as things got finished and rescheduled anyway. so you spent the first period talking a lot of jjk stuff with friends. then you spent the second period criticizing engineering, solar car, and just the future of engineering at your high school while also talking about you feel so cooked on your stem future. then you spent third period and fourth period just sitting down and talking with people and worrying about stupid body odors. you walk home and record the start of your reaction video. you then got accepted into your second school, so you are now two for two. however, the fact you aren't getting any full rides is very frsutrating. even your dad's reactions to them seem disappoiting so they don't feel like much to you. you go home, get some work done, and talk with friends while watching thor ragnorok. your mom talks to you about colleges, girls, and whatever but it's just frustrating that nothing isn't really feel good right now.
• 11/16/2024 ➣ today is your dad's birthday. you first head over to get outdressed by your crockett peers and also lost a job in a joke interview. it does make you question if you are doing anything right nowadays. you drive over to publix to get some stuff and some subs with your dad. after beating the story of phantom parade and stupidly playing genshin, you head out to go to a birthday dinner and enjoyed the night with your dad and your uncle. you come home to watch ant man and the wasp and finished your museum paper for art appreciation.
• 11/17/2024 ➣ you woke up, ate breakfast, and got to working on chem and calculus. you listened to personakopia, a mixture of chromokopia and persona songs and it was a banger.
• 11/18/2024 ➣ you have to go dressed professionally for a mini meeting. you listen to some tyler while trying to finish the genshin story, pass out some field trip forms, and go meet up with your old co workers again for another meeting they have. talk about you are the future valedictorian eat a muffin while you do it, talk more about college and getting accepted to other colleges. just do whatever you want while having fun with it and checking up on random events and field trips. make a crappy peace poster and keep it pushing. "kendrick made you think about it, but he is not your savior. cole made you feel empower, but he is not your savior. future said, "get a money counter", but he is not your savior. 'bron made you give his flowers, but he is not your savior. he is not your savior. mr. morale, give me high-five. two times center codefendant judging my life. back pedaler, what they say? you do the cha-cha. i'ma stand on it, 6'5", from 5'5". fun fact, i ain't taking shit back. like it when ther pro-black, but i'm more kodak black. tell me where the money at, ayy, where the homies at?. universal callout, i can members only that, ayy".
• 11/19/2024 ➣ you wake up not wanting to go to school for something very small but you still go anyway. your day starts by finishing the genshin story your procrastinated on and feeling bad for how many people got killed in the war. then you moved over a big table to make a new desk for you and thought it was pretty effective. then a 3d printer guy came to check up on stuff while you and your friends talk about relationships, divorces, and whatever stuff. you had to clear your ears after that so then you decided to walk listening to the alternative intro of see you again. "left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons). left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons) left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). keepin' in step. (keepin' in step). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons). left, right, left-go-right. (left, right, left-go-right). left, right, left. (left, right, left). go left, go left, go left, right. (dragons). okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, o—. you live in my dream state. relocate my fantasy. i stay in reality. you live in my dream state. any time i count sheep. that's the only time we make up, make up. you exist behind my eyelids, my eyelids. now, i don't wanna wake up. 20/20, 20/20 vision. cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision. i wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind. i said, i said. i'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing. you're the one that's always running through my daydreams. i—i can only see your face when i close my eyes (uh-huh). can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever?. i said, i'm 'bout to go to war (uh-huh). and i don't know if i'ma see you again. can i get a kiss? (can i?) and can you make it last forever? (can you?). i said, i'm 'bout to go to war (i'm 'bout to). and i don't know if i'ma see you again. ugh, switch it up. i said, okay, okay, okay, okey-dokey, my infatuation. is translating to another form of what you call it? (love). oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, i ain't met you, i've been looking. stop the waiting 'fore i stop the chasing, like an alcoholic. "you don't understand me" what the fuck do you mean?. it's them rose-tinted cheeks, yeah, it's them dirt-colored eyes. sugar-honey iced tea, bumblebee on the scene. yeah, i'd give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie." the rest of the day was a bunch of silly activities as you try to get some scholarships and other work done.
• 11/20/2024 ➣ you wake up playing some games at first. you make a to do list but you don't get much of it done. however, you do some other things instead. this includes started a canva page of your chronicle summary. this also means doing a lot of research. particularly on a site called the unsent project. there's only 1 maroon message sent to you. "i miss u so much. but i need to understand u don't miss me back." you think of people who this could've come from and you just feel weird for the entire day. it doesn't help that you like the color maroon and it was also posted 3 days before your birthday. it seems like they're doing better with their relationship with their parents and their love on their self. "mama, i'm chasing a ghost. i don't know who he is. mama, i'm chasing a ghost. i don't know where he is. mama, i'm chasing a ghost. do i look. like him. like him. i decided to. really get that love inside of you. i would never ever lie to you, yeah. you ain't ever gotta lie to me. i'm everything that i strive to be. so do i look like him? do i look like him? (like him, like him, like him, like him). i don't look like him (like him)" other than that, you found your work on course sidekick and did whatever for the rest of the day.
• 11/21/2024 ➣ you wake up disappointed you didn't get much done.