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january

new years was nice - family and a lot of alcohol - watching "you" - third day of the year; reading, cleaning my room, washing dishes, exercising - helped my father in the store, drove with him and toby - remiding myself that food is not my enemy - watching movies and drinking wine - rain - peaches - ice cream that i shouldn't have eaten bc did no good for my stomach - i'm eating a lot and i hate it - i hate and love my voice at the same time - but it's like this for me with everything when it comes to myself - new obsession lol: "the untamed" - pain bc wangxian (i cried lol) - thinking about wang yibo and xiao zhan - i feel like art is something i'm gonna always have to carry - i feel tired today - i'm in são paulo! - i was so anxious and sad out of nothing yesterday but i'm okay now - hoping i can enjoy this trip the way i couldnt enjoy last year - the beach makes me feel things - i'm a bit anxious - it's raining a lot but we are not complaining - every day trying to accept myself the way i am - feeling bad because i'm not reading a lot like i wanted to - getting fucking lost lmao - my dad is stubborn like me (more like i'm stubborn like him) - met flavia!! - i'm home!! - kinda sad bc i didn't read a lot like i wanted to this month bc of the trip - i'm too anxious lol kdfkj - back to reading - also i'm rewatching wfkbj - it's been a weird and quiet month - but i'm fine, i really am

february

reading - been thinking so much about many things - my life, my values, my dreams, my family, my friends, my places, my face, my body - back to college - i'm really looking forward to study - reading anne frank the diary from the beginning - i wanna love myself - i feel sad and tired - i feel slow - bought some clothes - parasite best picture - i'm a mess - well i need a job lmao - i'm so anxious lately :p - i'm better - reading - trying to get a job - nct...nct - i wanna do and learn so many things that i feel like going crazy - i feel so lonely sometimes - lost lost lost - ice cream! - this month was full of ups and downs - i feel weird but not in a bad way, not so good either - but everything's gonna be alright

march

the month of realizing things lol - fruits - nct 127!! - going out with sofia - i love feeling loved - sometimes i think that i'm pretty - spending the night at my friends' house - i hate being so insecure - i hate not having energy and will to do the things that i'd like to do - i have to stop smoking btw - starting to write for a blog! - laughing a lot with my mom - i'm tired of my phone - quarentine :/ - online classes - i feel odd - i have a strange relationship with fanfics - and now i can't stop reading them - i don't know what i want to do... - but i want to do Something - anxiety - i need to write more - reading - cleaning my room - exercising - i feel better - a hell of a month

april

hi...lol - been watching movies - i feel kinda weird - i really really want to learn how to be kind to myself - i know i deserve it?? - going crazy going stupid - i love bts - dancing to "on" - depressive epsodies - i'm never gonna to eat cake again - lol jk but i'm so fucking stupid - i like to write... - i need to give myself a break - time - love - i've had enough of hate, i'm tired - i hate anxiety - and i hate my past - i'm okay! i feel fine today - i've been writting and i think i have a journal now... like a diary maybe - well, i'm alive

may

i'm no different from a can of pineapple - popcorn - i feel in another dimension - maybe it's depression - it's been days now that i don't drink milk - i feel good - i lost weight, i don't know how much, but i can feel and notice - depression - it's been so hard - the book i'm reading is so sad but i can't stop - i love jude and i see myself in him so much altrough i haven't been through 1% of the things he's been through - i'm tired of feeling unwanted - my wisdom tooth is hurting so so so bad - i'm feeling a little better - been listening the beatles a lot - ok i'm fine - drinking wine and dancing - watching supernatural - anxious because of college - watching an amazing movie "across the universe" (2007) - i've been doing a lot of things - finished reading "a little life" i feel a lot of things, need to organize my thoughts - i'm...so...tired - it's SO COLD since sunday (today is tuesday lol) - my skin is looking pretty bad again - but, you know, hormones - i have so much trust issues

jun

i'm still alive... great - back to the antidepressants - 03/06: my period came - working hard - tired af - reading truly devious' second book - i'm kinda muzzy?? i think i'm just tired - reading a lot - i love queer eye - i love jonathan - things happened (with my brother...hospital etc)- but everything's good - i'm tired - comprei uma vela de lavanda (minha mãe me deu) - também ganhei uma caneca linda de friends - me sentindo estranha mas acho que é a ansiedade mesmo - finished reading the "truly devious" trilogy, love it - i'm tired - gonna read more mysteries now - tired of my skin being a bitch

july

reading - i'm tired again - i think something's wrong with me... been trying to figure myself out - hello i'm tired lol - 05/07: my period came - hello i want to sing - i miss singing so much - i've been ill? more like feeling ill - i think it's bc of my period - i'm still feeling sick - been going crazy lol - watching "dark" - back to reading i guess - i can't articulate correctly - i stoped eating red meat -

jan 4 2019 ∞
jul 13 2020 +