— of best things i have experienced and people i have met in 2020

  • knowing ata, meeting her, and her becoming one of the rare few people i would love to live for.
  • getting closer with unge, exchanging ideas and sharing experiences with her, loving her.
  • writing for my friends as their birthday gifts: cath & moon street diner; ata & abang; unge & sarawatine; kak ava & the selection au.
  • watching 2gether the series and a few bl thai series; getting to know amazing people that took the roles; bright vachirawit & metawin opas-iamkajorn; saint suppapong from why r u the series.
  • watching anne with an e for the show gave me strength during pandemic; anne shirley-cuthbert & gilbert blythe; a story of friendship and defying conformity.
  • astro's comeback as ot6 with knock (gateway mini album); having we still as their b-side track; yoon sanha yearning; kak ciki loving them.
  • getting to know the boyz. all 12 of them. i love them dearly. i cannot begin to explain how much joy & love i have received in the span of few weeks knowing them, but i am thankful.
  • knowing domi, how heartwarming & lovely she is; talking with jam and lois about tbz too. they're such healings.
  • trip to bandung & purwokerto with my parents and cousin. for a while, i lived slowly.
  • daily exchange of conversation with my friends; sasa, kak carissa, tomy, my college friends. talked about a plethora of things, they made my 2020 easier.
  • a few beach trips throughout the year.
  • dira, ava, every youtube video, drawing, and story we have shared. they brighten up my days and fill them with excessive amount of happiness; they made me live within brushes and words they put. i'm so amazed with love & conversation we've exchanged.
  • trying out many recipes with my mother. from sponge cake, brownies, up to donuts. not all of them turned out edible, but most were successful & i got to share some with my friends.
  • celebrated my 20th birthday with my family and friends. my friends' unexpected presence at my house, we ate donuts and noodles afterwards. went out together with my family for a dinner. a heart-fluttering zine created by dira and ava shipped to my house, it's so dear to me. kak sashi's cookies. my friends' writings which i didn't expect would even be there to be gifted to me; they made me alive within stories they wrote. all heartfelt and genuine letters by my friends which up until now i still cherish upon seeing them. i love the memories made despite everything.
  • jacqui and kak mon. both sent me "the orange" by wendy cope and i felt nothing but safety; feeling held with words of association as a bridge; crystal clear love that tainted on their minds for their reminiscence over me. // jacqui made me feel accepted at our first conversation, the immediate click moment over our similar interests in literature and svtbz (especially 98z or jacqui's literature comrades); god, we even talked about sharing food as a form of love in the first day of our friendship. // kak mon and i have known each other for awhile, but we got to know each other in depth just recently. there's so much of her i want to treasure, i want to unravel. her soft side that was usually hidden, her dedication, and her love. i am moved by her sincerity and her willingness to share something with me and to receive in exchange. her and kevin moon. // i am immensely optimistic; no more self-doubt, i am loved and cherished by these people who return the same energy as me when we converse. i am loved.
  • i was able to celebrate the end of the year with my beloved friends i haven't met for ages. we exchanged stories and settled misunderstandings. ended this year with a lot of profound memories and people. it has been a tough year, but i would not trade everything i have gained for anything.
jun 13 2020 ∞
jan 1 2021 +