—— the good

• beginning of the new semester.
• a lot of new music discoveries.
• made dean's list.
• getting back in the habit of drawing.
• studying and talking with ev most days.
• canned iced tea and spring rolls.
• john and i trade music once a week.
• most of my new profs are good.
• gaming with the gang, and collaborative art on magma.
• started using workflowy to organize my tasks.
• went to the auditorium with ev after class, she played some beautiful piano pieces and i drew a knight and a dragon on the chalkboard.
• law isn't completely painful, actually interesting besides complex...
• even though i've been bad about eating, when i do i put more effort in and make actually substantive meals.
• my anatomy is improving a lot, i think. i can sketch out much more natural poses a lot more quickly.
• the weather has been nice, cool and overcast but not too cold.
• ev and i losing our shit laughing instead of studying after finding out jk simmons voiced the yellow m&m and it actually kept him financially stable for a while. fucking old man (affectionate), i love him.
  • also ev: "why are the dilfs so... (makes weird noise)" and getting flustered when i asked what she meant by that ahaha (we were talking about pedro pascal because of tlou)
• the people in my discussion groups are really nice and interesting people. even though i sometimes feel weird about being younger than most of my classmates because they have so much more life experience than me, i can learn a lot from them because of it.
• serj tankian and his perfect voice, it took me a while to come around to soad but i'm in deep now.
• caffeine. it improves my mood and motivation so much it's crazy.
• my dad infodumping about his favourite movie, no country for old men and his theories about it. ahhhh i love listening to people talk about stuff they're interested in, especially music and movies it's so interesting and their passion is infectious.

—— the bad

• not getting a lot of sleep anymore.
• resisting the urge to skip class and sleep instead.
• forgetting to eat when i'm working.
• i feel weak and tired most of the time.
• studying a lot of heavy cases, makes me feel down some days.
• burnt out again towards the end of the month, just want to lay around and listen to music for hours instead of working... daily life is so exhausting, it hurts. whoever said depressed artists make better art hasn't met me.
• i think this ties in with me having less social energy but i'm constantly overthinking what i say in a conversation, can't help but feel like i sound weird, quiet, angry, boring, tired...
• i think i might have pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear, uuugh. i hope it goes away eventually or it's something wrong with my headphones, but this is what i get for listening to music too loudly, i guess.

—— the ugly

• i need to do something about my hands. i started bandaging some of my fingers to stop myself from picking at them, so no more blood.
  • update: i stopped bandaging them because it's annoying to change them, also washing my hands is a chore. but i've been doing a decent job of abstaining, it's funny because i'm so conscious of it now and i'll just touch my finger while looking at it like "don't you fucking dare"
• i need a haircut... again........ alex once said i look like jd from heathers, if we're sticking with the theme, i think i look like bender from the breakfast club now.