• ☀⠀ 04 ⋅ 03 ⋅ 02 ⋅ 01 ⠀☁
      • ◎ Fi demon
      • ◉ Bad shit

⸺ 「 january

  • (02) 25. ⠀still depressed but GANYU!!. sending love anonymous love letters to my mutuals.
  • (01) 24. ⠀◉ still, another. melancholy. gender melancholy, and the verge of tears. got her worried but she's so good to me. it's very specific. no room to cry, no room to try. i don't want this life. i will scream and argue with my mouth shut. it's such a pretty day outside. rainbow screens and old terms; comfort and spite. but i'm afraid and alone. read and wrote some poetry. sat on the porch drinking water, noticing the neighbour's porches, and the way the apartments fall on the blueprint.
  • (01) 23. ⠀◉ isolating myself. psychological self-harm because im too lazy to do it on skin. two days of happiness. it's about the feeling of wanting to run away and kys. is because i want to die. but not at all. just a bit. and it's worse when im feeling empty. i tried to analyse but no success. im just wasting my time trying to dissociate or watch as many documentaries and video essays and old movies that rot of nostalgia so i cant focus on whatever the fuck i am feeling. i hope this ends soon.
  • (02) 22. ⠀fucked up some simple stuff ughhh. told her abt my books.
  • (02) 20. ⠀ffs i just want a working monitor... i just wanna draw...
  • (02) 18. ⠀monitor shenanigans. tired. i don't wanna do anything. please let this be a lazy day. fixing draft playlist. lazy dayyyy yeahhhh.
  • (02) 16. ⠀visiting antivax feverish dad. girlfriend, girlfriend.
  • (03) 15. ⠀nice!. dnd session and having an anxiety attack mid fight but all good, deep breaths etc etc. drawing what i can with this shitty screen. white-haired anime boy.
  • (01) 14. ⠀sick and tired because i had another panic attack episode but im fine, could've been worse. she ain't my girlfriend but i treat her like one. pinterest bullshit 13-16 girls write and "wow they would love you" "but i don't say shit like 'i'm proud of you' that's cringe as shit, also i'm awful at showing affection" "...wow... you suck indeed" but you're here anyway. "i'm gonna bingo this girl meme" and she did.
  • (02) 13. ⠀shitty monitor (it's a tv) and i can't draw again. "that's just a bad day" it's been... a couple of days.
  • (02) 08. ⠀cleaned bedroom, washed hair, time to work. how to please an intj: step 1, make bed; step 2: explain where their cooking has improved.
  • (03) 08. ⠀amber hitting 50k o__o my love. i don't want a career ffs, i want a job. i give up on isfps unless they're my mom or 80 years old, man... worst people i've ever met.
  • (04) 06. ⠀tired. bunch of heart exams i've never done before but i hope i'm okay. wear a skeleton t-shirt for radiography if you wanna hear a "i like your shirt young man". AMBER C2 MADE MY DAY <3. turbulence in the groupchat (aka isfps being selfish). drawing, working. aches. genshin is so boring. i gotta organize myself i'm going insane.
  • (02) 02. ⠀cleaning things in order. revamping?. writing. grieving. called mum. back aches. my arm still's swollen from that blood test ffs.
may 6 2020 ∞
jan 25 2022 +