''.Jeongguk's mind went back to the man he saw earlier in the foyer. The meeting felt false. As if it never occurred. Maybe it didn't. Just Jeongguk's mind playing an illusion. That probably explained the indefinite glow around him.''

''There are only a few things in life that are beautiful. Starry nights, Love Me Tender by Elvis, and the way Taehyung said Jeongguk's name.''

''His entire life is in the palm of someone else, a higher being, he supposes. The higher being can meaninglessly card its gentle nimble fingers through his life and cause it to be burnt to ruins. That's what destiny is. Every single thing that happens, happens for a reason. That is terrifying.''

''It's fun to indulge in wrongdoings sometimes, Jeongguk," Taehyung said to him, and Jeongguk looked at Taehyung with confusion. "Why must we always do what's right, why must we always conform to society? Why can't we just... take a step away from it all," Taehyung said, taking a step towards Jeongguk. "And let the sins consume us?''

''Nothing wrong with love," Taehyung said, and then smiled. "I think it's sweet. That people can love so many kinds of people.''

''"Is there something I can help you with?" Taehyung asked after a lack of response, and Jeongguk's mouth went dry. Don't, don't, don't- yet he had to. He had to, to fill in these urges his mind signaled him with. He must. "Could you-" Jeongguk began, voice weak and small, higher than usual. "Could you k-kiss me again?"''

''"You can spend your entire life questioning yourself, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, and then brushed his lips against Jeongguk's. Jeongguk leaned in, a vibrated whimper begging to escape. Before it could, Taehyung pulled away. "Or you could go ahead with your actions. Don't think. Just let go of your fears and commit your sins. Sometimes it just doesn't matter. Sometimes, it's alright." Taehyung whispered.''

''Taehyung moved his lips against Jeongguk's, fluently. His breath came quickly as Taehyung and he traveled under bridges, over buildings, sloping down, down, down, then soaring up, up, up into the horizon, through a passage of towering rock formations, rushing over great bodies of water, suspended in the bright air, the sun rising out of the ocean. Kissing Taehyung felt like flying.''

''Being only 3 when the war began, Jeongguk's childhood had been filled with ages of blackouts, days spent in bomb shelters, nights spent crying with his mother because his father never returned from the war. And now, 14 years later; Jeongguk still hadn't found that peace that the world rejoiced with.''

''"Well, I would have," Veronica said, smiling at her. "I adore you, Rosie. You do know why I ran away, don't you? I don't like small towns. Don't like the way they shape the minds of the people around. I wish to learn, to travel, to have finer things, to smoke, to drink, to drive, to be educated. It's ravishing! Sometimes I feel like Taehyung doesn't allow me to do those things."''

''Taehyung dragged his plump lips down his cheek, reaching his earlobe and swirling his tongue around it. "When-" Taehyung began, but Jeongguk was pleased to hear a hitch in his breath when Jeongguk clenched tightly around him. "When I'm done with you, angel, you'll forget who women are,"''

''Jeongguk walked over to his radio and turned it on. The sound of Elvis filled his ears, and Jeongguk hummed magically, taking a little spin. He felt a little intoxicated, maybe. He didn't know what it was he wanted. But in fact, he did. He wanted to be completely naked, walking around the house and listening to Elvis and drinking cheap wine even though it was 9 am in the morning. He wanted to be untamed, felt this uncultivated intensity pulsing through his body since last night. He felt overly spontaneous.''

''Taehyung looked up, felt Veronica's words forming that awful anxious feeling in his chest again- the one he always felt. But he closed his eyes. Closed his eyes and envisioned Jeongguk. And then; and then it was fine. He was fine.''

''"It's alright, darling. We crave for freedom. For the restrictions around us to vanish. I wish they could, Jeongguk." Taehyung sighed softly and then saw Jeongguk shift around on his lap.''

''"We'll be alone," Taehyung whispered, gripping his thighs. "We can have sex every day. Drink wine for breakfast. Sit outside by the stars. We can kiss. Outside." Taehyung said softly, and Jeongguk's eyes grew big.''

''"Do you see those flowers outside by the lake, my love?" Taehyung whispered, and Jeongguk looked at him. He shook his head, playing with his fingers. "It's a moonflower. Aren't they beautiful?" "Yes. Quite." Jeongguk said softly. Taehyung leaned up to draw a thumb down his cheek. "They remind me of you, my love." Jeongguk hid his face in Taehyung's neck. "You're pretty, soft, dainty. Like a moonflower. Your eyes are cloudless climes and starry skies," Taehyung whispered into his skin, words gentle. "You're mellow, thus gentle in the light. Beautiful." Taehyung ended, and Jeongguk's breath hitched.''

''"It is wrong. We're wrong. W-we'll burn in hell," Jeongguk said, voice wavering. Taehyung opened his eyes. "But I'll burn in hell for an eternity if it means I can be with you."''

''He really was his best, his perfect, most beautiful darling. Taehyung wondered why he'd ever slept with anyone else. Wishes he'd found the boy sooner.''

''"We'll be alone," Taehyung whispered, gripping his thighs. "We can have sex every day. Drink wine for breakfast. Sit outside by the stars. We can kiss. Outside." Taehyung said softly, and Jeongguk's eyes grew big.''

''"Come with me." Taehyung said. Jeongguk hesitated for a second, and Taehyung sighed. "Don't accuse me of being desparate again, if you can. I only want to be with my moonflower. Haven't I earned the pleasure?"''

''Taehyung chuckled. He pinched Jeongguk's cheek. "You know what, I think I want to take you somewhere." "Where? France, again? Let's run away." Jeongguk said.''

''Jeongguk couldn't help think about how perfect it was, and how he wouldn't mind having this. The domesticity, the longing, the gentle exchanges and giggles, the love. The love. Jeongguk felt nothing else while looking into Taehyung's eyes. Couldn't help wishing he could have it forever.''

''"Darling," Taehyung whispered, letting his anger go. Jeongguk kept looking down, tears in his eyes. "This world. It isn't meant for people like you and me. It isn't meant for us to love. It isn't-" Taehyung put his hand on Jeongguk's chin, bringing it up, seeing tears which matched his own. "We were never meant to love."''

''Taehyung looked at Jeongguk weakly. Jeongguk put his hand on Taehyung's, which was on his cheek. "D-don't-" Jeongguk breathed deeply. "Don't I d-deserve somebody to love?"''

''"Darling," Taehyung whispered, letting his anger go. Jeongguk kept looking down, tears in his eyes. "This world. It isn't meant for people like you and me. It isn't meant for us to love. It isn't-" Taehyung put his hand on Jeongguk's chin, bringing it up, seeing tears which matched his own. "We were never meant to love."''

''"That's me," Jeongguk whispered back, and then looked at his reflection once more. Moonflower.''

''"Stop trying to be happy, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, vein thickening in his neck. "It can't be possible. Not in this world, not in any. We aren't meant to be happy, don't you understand that? People like you and me? We're meant to grief and get married to women we'll never love. We don't get to decide who we love, the world does."''

''"Um... not really. I'm a bit afraid." Jeongguk admitted. "She-she said I should burn in hell." "That's what everyone says." Yoongi laughed weakly. "But if hell will be full of men who love men, then it doesn't sound too bad," Yoongi said, and Jeongguk burst into giggles. "We could perform there too."''

''"My love," Taehyung said, hushed against his neck. "Don't be afraid. Don't be disheartened. The war you face is to fight for your love. You don't only fight for yourself, you fight for thousands of men and women who feel this love. Every passing day that you smile strongly and sing on that stage dressed as a woman, you tell the world that you aren't afraid. That you're proud, and you always will be. That you're Jeon Jeongguk, Moonflower, and you won't let them put you down for loving a man."''

''"Jeongguk... pretty baby... prettiest baby.... little angel.... pretty little angel.... pretty little angel baby-"''

''Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley played through Jeongguk's record player by the window as the moonlight shone onto the wooden panes of the small flat.''

''"Your eyes, first. The way they shine like the moon birthed them herself. Your nose. The way you scrunch it whenever you try to hide your smile. Your smile, how pretty it looks in the glow of the moonlight, how innocent you look, how beautiful."''

''"Taehyung," Jeongguk began softly, eyes growing big. Taehyung kissed up his inner thigh, up his hip, his stomach, his chest, his neck, his cheeks. Every part of him. Jeongguk hummed in content, closing his eyes. "This is how it has to be, Taehyung. How it was written out." "Written out? I'll tell you how it should've been written out," Taehyung said, tucking himself beside him to hug him tightly, hold him. Jeongguk looked at him with wonder. "If we lived in a world where- where it didn't matter who we loved. Whether a man loved another or a woman loved another."''

''"Promise me one thing," Taehyung whispered, gripping his sides, smiling, trying his hardest not to look saddened. "That one day, you'll move on. You'll make a life of your own. You'll be happy. You'll f-find somebody to love." "I will," Jeongguk whispered. "I will. I have, and I will again." Jeongguk said.''

''So it wasn't really the ending destination that mattered, it was the small journey in between. Jeongguk came into his life and changed Taehyung, changed Veronica, changed Rosie, and changed himself too. But he got the most hurt out of it, more than anyone. But now, look at him. Happiest he's ever been. Glowing. Smiling like a little girl upon talking about the man he loved. Taehyung's heart swelled knowing Jeongguk would go home happy.''

''I thought love was devotion and marriage. However now, it seems love is the giggle you let out when I make a comment about your front teeth. It seems love is the twinkle in your eyes when you see me. It seems love is the gentle wave in my heart that I feel whenever you smile. You are love, my love. You taught me what love is. You taught me how to be a better man. A better husband. Despite not taking any of it yourself. I owe you everything, Jeongguk.''

apr 15 2020 ∞
apr 15 2020 +