• xxx. — isabella's birthday. <3 ⋆ forced to stay home again because i haven't eaten a single thing within the past two days. i begged to go, it would distract me. when will this guilt fade? ⋆ remembering alex's words. i love him. ⋆ not-so-patiently waiting for kel to be back. ⋆ that was fast. i feel so much better. ⋆ POSSIBLY SPENDING THE ENTIRE SUMMER WORKING W/ KEL???? ⋆ ♪ and we've made plans to see la! for the sunset strip and down to east santa fe <3 ♪
  • xxix. — fucked up. bad day. can't stop thinking about it. ⋆ no appetite at all. :/ even thinking about food makes me feel like puking. ⋆ kel said he's never seen me like this. ⋆ ALEX <33 i love u i love u i love u. thank you.
  • xxviii. — aaa soph. <33 said, "oh, you look pretty" when i walked in. ⋆ saw some mushrooms n flowers on my way to study hall. ⋆ good day. :) ⋆ nevermind. bad day. very bad day. how does that even happen. still my fault, even if it was an accident. gonna deal with it.
  • xxvii. — feeling uneasy. :/ ⋆ "i'm getting you a girlfriend." - kel
  • xxvi. — torturing kel. <3 stop he's so cute. ⋆ wanted to put vinyls on my wall for SO LONG because of linh truong. i give up. :,) ⋆ convos w/ shama are always interesting. she called me badass. <3
  • xxv. — playing a bunch of games w timmy and making fun of poorly written smut together.
  • xxiv. — you know when something inconvenient happens and you realize the thread you're hanging on is actually quite thin. :) ⋆ i want to kick something. ⋆ i have 99 problems and at least 27 of them would be solved if mundo were here. gonna try to meet up w/ him tomorrow. ⋆ y'know what. i calmed down. reassembling my backpack sounds fun. ⋆ :/
  • xxiii. — chuuyachuuyachuuyachuuya. ⋆ i won't let it bother me. ⋆ nvm. eat shit. ⋆ i wanna dye my hair red and get a nostril piercing so BAD. ⋆ need something to cope with. p4? if no one got me i know my folder of goro akechi edits got me can i get an amen. ⋆ back to my stage of immense sadness because of (redacted). fuck you. bad day. i wanna:
    • a) cry
    • b) commit arson
    • c) all of the above
  • xxii. — worried for keyboard. people have high expectations of me hhh. ⋆ almost cried laughing because of a CIRCLE. ⋆ palaye royale. ☆_☆ ⋆ what the fuck is wrong with my stomach. ⋆ GOT THE SSR CHUUYA FABLES CARD. YALL???
  • xxi. — sleepy + headache again. ⋆ gonna continue p4 for rise and rise only.
  • xx. — headache + my stomach feels weird. ⋆ praying that kel loses this game so he doesn't go. ha.
  • xix. — haven't felt this terrible in months. ⋆ forgot that language barriers still exist in context when translated HAHAH never venting in bangla again. made me sound so attention whoreish with the lack of context I CANNOT. ⋆ ♪ sometimes! i've been losing my mind!! running out of faith!! ♪
  • xviii. — completed some of the novel i was assigned to read on my window cushion as the sun hit my sun catchers n made little rainbows all over my room. a vibe. ⋆ am i an attention whore or have i genuinely been wronged and i'm invalidating myself for it lmao. ⋆ stop it. no, you don't. don't lie to me.
  • xvii. — productive day. :] ⋆ learned that timmy is octagonphobic. ⋆ i just want someone to be proud of me.
  • xvi. — haven't been able to skateboard in a long while because of the constant rain. ⋆ still obsessed with the spade earring. ♡_♡ i've received many compliments. :,) ⋆ AW JOSEPH. love this man. kel and me messing w/ him AHAH. ⋆ ilysm mundo. ⋆ matching pfps w/ my favorite d*zai stannie. ⋆ kel singing to the victorious soundtrack,, i'm losing it. (update: it's the icarly soundtrack now. get me out.) nvm it's growing on me this kinda slaps??
  • xv. — flashbacks. ⋆ someone peeked at my sketch book n said i could write a comic book if i really wanted to. :,) <3 ⋆ got my spade card earring. LOVE IT SM. ⋆ had sushi. yum.
  • xiv. — got complimented a lot today bc i presented more masc. ⋆ i love the cards i've displayed on my headboard shelf aaa. it displays my two favorite cards: ace of spades and king of spades + the back design of my favorite bicycle deck, dayreak.
  • xiii. — panicked. i saw an F in the grade-book n realized it's because the file i submitted was corrupted. oops. ⋆ ♪ it must be july cuz i only wanna ride w/ my hair downnn ♪ ⋆ played uno w timmy in study hall. ⋆ listening to my arson playlist w/ kel again <3 he still loves it lmao. ⋆ gave her the hogwarts journal that was previously just collecting dust in my cabinet FKFHDJ. i would've felt bad putting it to waste.
  • xii. — tried making the kickthepj spaceship from scrap paper; kinda worked but i didn't like it. ⋆ spoke to some old friends. ⋆ group chats are overwhelming. ⋆ KDHDJJ we wildin.
  • xi. — want these earrings SO BAD. (update: i'm getting them!!) ⋆ kel finally made a pinterest. ⋆ love my mc world sm. ♡_♡ the heart shaped nether portal is v cute. ⋆ kel taking buzzfeed quizzes n embarrassing himself LMAOO.
  • x. — well establishing my space girl reputation. got complimented ab it too. <3
  • ix. — it is so fucking cold im gonna riot. ⋆ timmy suggesting to play emo songs on tv for me DFHFH.
  • viii. — got complimented on my outfit a lot aaa <3 ⋆ < gift giving 3
  • vii. — so tired. ⋆ ac stopped working again; my room's always the hottest. :/ ⋆ akechi playlist for comfort,, embarrassing. ⋆ kinda not okay. ⋆ an image of me stabbing myself with a knife while working at my desk keeps popping up in my mind (don't worry, i won't). weird. i wanna deny the fact that i keep thinking ab it, but what good will that do anyway? maybe less stress. i'd supposedly take all the relievers i could get, but here i am. ⋆ i live for myself, i think.
  • vi. — i love alex sm wtf. heart eyes 4 him. :( <3 ⋆ go to the water park with the kids, they said. it'll be fun, they said. at least i have cookies n cream dippin dots ig. ⋆ i'm about to celebrate becoming an only child. :) :) :)
  • v. — him singing along w/ the songs i recommended to him is my main source of serotonin rn. ♡_♡
  • iv. — so touch starved. hnng. ⋆ "i jus wanna rock out with my cock out." - alex ⋆ i forgot how much fun making stuff with paper is. i Cannot stop.
  • iii. — recovering! ⋆ this fit would go even harder if i had a varsity jacket. just sayin. ⋆ free period for 1st block, i suppose. ⋆ saw some dragonflies and moths in the sunlight on my walk to study hall. <3 ⋆ softie hours :,)
  • ii. — still ill. ⋆ agh. i love him. <3 <3 ⋆ don't feel pretty today. (edit: nvm i'm hot shit) ⋆ kel n i are unstoppable. what are we doing rn&@)@$^% FJJDJD.
  • i. — september, my favorite month. my beloved. ⋆ am gonna invest in a varsity jacket n a bucket hat. :) ⋆ kel and i r wearing jerseys!! <33 stop it looks so good on him.
sep 1 2021 ∞
oct 2 2021 +