01.

• gary, you look whiter than a georgia country club.

02.

• you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants.
• watching you try to be nice is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette. it's kind of cool, but also very disturbing.

03.

• relax, cow eyes. I'm not gonna be sitting here looking at your cow eyes the whole time.
• do you want to know how toxic she is, amy? imagine something small has crawled up a dead cow's ass. and then that small thing actually dies itself. if that dead thing then farted out a sack of eggs, but each individual egg is a smaller, rotting dead thing, that's how toxic she is.
• jonah with money! god almighty, it's like if hitler could fly!
• every time I see him, I hear circus music.

04.

• you are like an earlobe. you are just there, just wobbling.
• she's middle of the road. she's mediocre, really. of all he -ocres, she's the mediest.
• it was an accident, ok? much like when bigfoot got your mom pregnant, resulting in you.
• well, it's bigger than your mother's womb and you were in there until you were fifteen.
• yeah? well, go shit yourself, long tall sally.
• throw him under a bus, if you can find one that's long enough.
• you colossal fucking fanny pack. you don't get it, do you?

05.

• it turns out I can't mate with anyone outside of my species.
• I don't have time to ignore you, jonah. gary, could you please ignore jonah for me?
• you don't get the complexity. you're the world's biggest single-cell organism.
• I am surprised the two of you even found your way out of your own mothers' vaginas.
• please, catherine, stop with the whining! you're gonna shatter the bulletproof glass in here.
• and if you listen to me instead of your only two brain cells busy butt-fucking each other somewhere in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull, then maybe, jonah, you might have a chance at becoming the first mentally impaired frankenstein's monster to ever win an american election.
• you're not even your mom's favorite jonah, jonah!
• not quite. like your mother, it's been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys.

06.

• one of the most extraordinarily incoherent people I've ever met in my life.
• dan is a shit. he's a massive and total shit. when you first meet him, you think surely to god this man can't be as big a shit as he seems, but he is. 'cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you'd think "that's intriguing. I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit." and then you open it and... shit.
• isn't that the catchphrase of the world's creepiest babysitter? speaking of creepy, kent davison is back.
• you guys, are we seriously gonna let the guy with a police-sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?
• stop trying to polish my dick, you fucking four-eyed failure.
• jonah, you're not even a man. you're like an early draft of a man where they just sketched out a giant mangled skeleton, but they didn't have time to add details like pigment, or self-respect. you're frankenstein's monster, if his monster was made entirely of dead dicks.
• go fuck yourself, jack and the giant freakstalk. your team lost, and you should be fitted with a leper bell, you sinking shit.
• back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother found you in, you fucking shaved sasquatch.
• I didn't think it was possible for you to look more like a giant cock. I guess it's true what they say: you are what you eat.
• man up, gary. or at least lady down a bit.