• "Just because you're a nerd on the inside doesn't mean you can't be bangable on the outside."
  • [in response to someone asking where Justin Timberlake went to] "Well, maybe Madonna's vagina swallowed him whole."
  • "Oh, gawh. I could shoot things _forever_"
  • [while watching Carrie, some guy calls John Travolta's character a pussy] Me: "Well, he may be a pussy but at least he gets some, fatass." Adrianne: "Oh, you went there!" Me: "Hell, yes, I went there. I went there and bought the shirt."
  • My mom: "If he was a clock, he'd be three minutes away from ugly."
  • [a variation/quote from SMA -- making fun of someone] Me: "You wanna hear a story?" Addie: "NOO!" Me: "Well, I went to the hospital today..." Addie: "Melvin!" Me: "Oh, we are _terrible_"
  • [while watching the Addam's Family Values - reacting to Uncle Fester's expression] Me: "Oh, that's not rigor mortis."
  • [while walking too far and my being fussy] My mom: "Alright, we just need to go straight ahead." Me: "But I don't wanna go straight ahead." My mom: "Then how about gaily forward?"
  • [while talking about Harry Potter] Me: "And I hate that they left out the sphinx from the labyrinth." My mother [kind of throwing a flip fit]: "UGH! You hit a nerrrrve. UGHHH. You FAIL Harry Potter!"
  • [while baking] Adrianne: "Oh, yeah, mom. We're making brownies." Me: "Haha. Yeah. For Joe." Adrianne: "What? For Joe? No. Why would you say that?" Me: "Brownies." Adrianne: "What?" Me: "Brownies." Adrianne: "What?" Me: "Brownies." Adrianne: "What?" Me: "Special." Adrianne: "Ohh..."
  • [quoting the hide ya' kids song] Adrianne: "Hide your kids. Hide your wife." Me: "And hide your husbands because they're raping everybody out here." Adrianne's mom: "What're you guys talking about in there?" Adrianne and me [in unison]: "Uhhhhhh..."
  • [while looking at my wall] Me: "UGH. Why is there gum on my wall?" Korbin: "Oh, that's not gum." Me
    : "What."
  • [at the lake, getting tossed by Joe] Adrianne: "AH! Me ovaries!"
  • [at the lake s'more. one of the times that i got tossed] Me: "No. NO! Lemme go! AHH! /screaming and flailing" Adrianne: "Damn, you're dramatic." Me: "Years of drama club had to give me something."
  • [still at the lake] Joe: "Now all I need to do is have sex with three girls." [Adrianne and I look uncomfortably at each other] Me: "This vagina's taken. Please move on to the next register, sir."
  • [while quite young] Me [to some boy]: "You're gay!" Said boy: "Gay means happy!" Me: "Yeah, you're happy ... with other men."
  • [while watching Bride of Chucky, Chucky just broke through a wooden cage with a wedding ring] Adrianne: "Who knew that a wedding ring could cut through wood?" Me: "Any man who's ever been married!"
  • [while asking Korby a bunch of ridiculous questions] Me: "What if I was a Lite-Brite? Would you still love me?" Korbin: "Honey, you can't be a Lite-Brite. They're flat."
jul 20 2010 ∞
feb 26 2011 +