• wearing Tevas/Crocs. just, NO.
• blatantly check out other ladies when you're out with me. i don't care what you do when you're not with me, but when we're out calm down and have some dignity, tiger.
• being stingy. this is less about money than it is about effort.
• lying just to lie. i will catch you. bet.
• talk excessively about other women when you're out with me. this includes:

a. the ex-girlfriend & how great she was b. that one smoking hot cocktail waitress over there c. insert unattainable celebrity you want to pork here Again, feel free to share your sad, 12 year old boy fantasies aloud- just not whenI'm around. It's called "respect".

• be in any way homophobic. grow up, chump.
• have long fingernails. yuck.
• embarass me in front of my friends in any way (IE, hitting on one of them blatanly then saying, "But I was only KIDDING!!!" I wish this did not come from experience but sadly, it does)
• being an un-affectionate ro-butt
• having a girlfriend in another city/country. trust me on this one.