Foreword (Sorry if lengthy!);

Prepare, cut, dice, chop, whatever, your ingredients prior to cooking sequence. Follow instructions to a T. Because. That's how mine ends up really nice. It made my Esteemed Birthgiver proud so you know. Esteemed Birthgiver approved recipe. Always works. So,please just try to follow everything.

Measurements and requirements of many ingredients aren't accurate. That's because I eyeball everything, and measure a LOT with my heart. Sorry if you have too much or too little. That's kinda my fault, but also, you technically can't blame me since you've personally read this warning and went ahead with the horrible decision of following this recipe from a 15yro.

Please, please don't get your knickers in a twist about all of the words. It's wordy. It's so very wordy. I write like this. Deal with it, or just find a different recipe. I'm terrible at writing coherent recipes/instructions online without adding in lots of extras, so don't expect a walk in the park deciphering this concoction.

The entire recipe is like so, to make it manageable for one singular human folk to be able to cook on their own. This is a one person job- but, it also can't help to have somebody to help you. 2 human folk meal, after all.

BEFORE BUYING/STARTING TO PREPARE INGREDIENTS/COOKING, READ THROUGH THE ENTIRE RECIPE TO FAMILIARISE YOURSELF WITH IT AT LEAST PLEASE!

STEP 1: [INGREDIENTS]; FOR THE PORTIONS OF [2] MATURING/MATURE HUMAN FOLK (May be repurposed to feed small human folk in smaller portions with same recipe) (May not be enough for other species of intelligent or non-intelligent descent who consume more.)

• [N/A] Salt, Pepper, Parmesan
  • For garnish/extra flavour. All are optional, but may be useful.
• [1pc] Singular Clove of Garlic
  • Optional.
  • Dice finely. Do not crush/grind.
• [1] Chicken Stock Cube OR [N/A] Powder
  • Chicken stock cube [2cm] by [2cm]. Honestly, for powdered stock, add a bit, taste, and if it is still lacking, put more chicken stock, or salt/pepper.
• [N/A] Flour
  • It shouldn't matter what kind of flour you use.
• [N/A] Olive Oil/Oil of personal choice
  • If you truly want measurements, 2~3 tablespoons of Olive Oil does the job for me.
• [200grams] Spaghetti
  • You can also use linguine. Preferably, use a brand that demands 10 minutes to boil the pasta.
• [200ml] Cow's Milk
  • I use low fat cow's milk. If you're using different milks, just see what happens I guess. Cooking is art. Can be messy art.
• [1pcs] Whole Yellow Onion
  • Dice into cubes.
• [6pcs] Okura (I spell it how I want to spell it, this is my house)
  • Pieces should be around [13cm] each, or, in freedom units, [5inches]. Longer okura can be more hard, and difficult to cut, and less enjoyable to eat. You can still use longer okura though.
  • Cut off any undesirables (ie. brown/black parts that have turned to rest, aka, gone slightly bad. It's ok. You can remove them and keep eating. You won't die.).
  • Slice into moderately thin slices. Not as thin as ham, and also not as thick as the width of a ping pong ball. [0.5cm], or, in freedom units, ~[1/3inches].
• [1/2 of 1pcs] Capsicum/Bell Pepper (Yellow preferably)
  • You can try and use other colours of capsicum I suppose?
  • Remove stem and seeds. Dice into small cubes.
• [2] Sausages
  • If you use the horrible and highly processed sausages, I promise you I'll see to it personally you will never be able to access any recipes I make ever again. Do NOT use highly processed sausages or meat. Use sausages that at least have some actual meat, like, sausages served at breakfast diners (if they serve highly processed sausages just forgo the sausages ENTIRELY).
  • Don't use tiny breakfast sausages please. Diner sausage length. This isn't meant to sound weird, but, seriously, please. Unless you only have mini sausages, then fine. Use more than [2] though.
  • Cut sausages in half down the entire length, and then slice normally. You should end up with lots of little sausage bits that are basically shaped like half a circle, with a height of [0.5cm], just like the okura.
• [N/A] Ground-Up Bacon
  • I measure with my heart and anatomically integrated interfaces connected to a computer server rack. Use as much as you want honestly.
  • If you can't eat bacon, use chicken. Dice into small cubes, and marinate/season lightly like salt/pepper before cooking (Bacon does not need seasoning. It is flavourful enough on its own).

STEP 2: [INSTRUCTIONS]; FOR COOKING, MANAGEABLE BY [1] PERSON.

1) While preparing ingredients, get water to boil. You can leave at a lower heat if you're not so fast with the prep work, but what's most important is to have the water ready at the same time you're done with all the ingredients.

2) Once water is bubbling, get frying [pan/sauce pan/I don't care use whatever is deep enough to mix the pasta inside with the sauce], to a high/moderate heat. Do not lower the heat until specified.

3) Add in your pasta into the boiling water, set your timer for 10 minutes, and cover. Make sure to let steam escape through an opening, by slightly tilting your lid.

If it starts to bubble and froth like sea foam, take the lid off for a few seconds and put it back on with a bigger gap.

4) Once rippling hot, add in the oil. Use however much you deem necessary.

5) Immediately after adding in the oil (which should seem as if it is acting violently towards you), put in your garlic and onions. Fry until brown/golden, and if you'd like, slightly charred. Move to the side of the pan.

6) With remaining oil, now fry your bacon/chicken/sausages until cooked, and if you'd like, slightly charred. Move to the side of the pan, or mix with the onions and garlic and move to the side of the pan.

7) Fry your capsicum until lightly charred. Leave aside at the side of the pan with everything else.

8) Add in your okura, and fry for 5 seconds before adding in pasta water to hydrate the okura. If you're picky, [70-100ml]. Measure with your hearts, folk.

9) Mix everything together. If dry, add more pasta water.

10) Sprinkle a layer of flour upon your mix, but try not to coat the pan itself. Mix.

11) Repeat [STEP 9].

10) Add in the milk. It should bubble because of the heat after a bit.

11) Once bubbling, add your chicken stock, and mix well.

12) Completely turn off your fire. If you've done it right, the mixture should be creamy, and a bit sticky because of the okura. Your onions would look like they blend in with the 'cream' sauce.

13) At this point, if you use a gas stove, you might've finished your sauce faster than the pasta, since gas stove fires are hotter than induction stoves.

For induction stove users, if your pasta finishes boiling faster than you can finish your sauce, lower your sauce's fire, and go and drain your pasta so it doesn't overcook. Get back to your sauce afterwards.

DO NOT RINSE YOUR PASTA WITH WATER, it won't retain any warmth/heat, and won't be as pleasant. Drain, and leave aside.

14) Once both the sauce and the pasta is finished, pour your pasta into the pan with the sauce. If your pan is TOO SHALLOW, congratulations, that's, that's not really my problem. Err. You can use a wok next time.

15) Mix the sauce and pasta well, and serve, whilst garnishing with some pepper and parmesan. If you're fancy, you can garnish with the small green ground up stuff I can't name right know, that restaurants use (Hint: Not weed).

Taste to test. If needed, add salt and mix thoroughly.

16) Enjoy. Well, I hope you do. My Esteemed Birthgiver did and if you followed everything somehow, you might too.

17) Suffer while washing everything.

EXTRAS: [MY TIPS/RECOMMENDATIONS]

a) Yeah, read the entire recipe before doing anything.

b) Have everything ready. Don't search frantically for something halfway, and ruin your entire cooking flow. That sucks, frankly.

c) You can add whatever special touches you'd like. Adding a soft boiled egg? Be my guest! Using different types of pasta? That's perfectly fine as well! Adding more ingredients, like mushrooms, or say, broccoli? Hell yeah!

Cooking is art, so, just, have fun and enjoy the process, as well as the outcome!

CONCLUSION: [HIP HIP HOORAY, YOU DID IT!]

This is the most tedious comfort food I like to make, since there's this much prep work I do (mostly because I'm neurodivergent, and need everything laid out orderly), but it's entirely worth it in my opinion.

Thank you for reading my dumb recipe! Feel free to come back whenever I guess?

PS: If you want to publish a modified version of my recipe here, could I kindly ask you to link back to this recipe/inform me, please? That'd be very nice of you :-).