I can ask myself for things to be better than they currently are. i can want for things to be better than I've allowed them to be, the circumstances around me presently, and there is nothing wrong or shameful about this. Wanting a more comfortable, peaceful, cozy, loving, successful life is a perfectly good and worthy desire. Telling myself that I'll never be more than my circumstances is major self sabotage and i want to stop this, now. No one is going to save me, I need to accomplish these things for myself. "You are what you repeatedly do"- and what I've repeatedly done has been shooting myself in the foot. However, I've begun some meaningful changes in these last few years and I can continue that momentum to an even greater degree if I'll allow myself to do so, and get out of my own head, and stop worrying about things that haven't even -and likely never will- happen(ed). No one is thinking of me, no one is judging me, no one cares. I can rise out of the pit I dig in my mind and become something totally different. I can be a butterfly of myself and be things and experience things I never even dreamed of. There is boundless joy out there waiting to be found. So many people I haven't even met yet will love me and enjoy my company, but I'm not going to find them in my comfort zone of staying at home every day, all day long.