it’s an avarice of experience. it’s not about money or material possessions. it’s about memories, emotions, moments in time. the fear of losing them, the compulsion to hold on. the fear of the vacuum (of being depleted).

my mom reminded me, “the universe abhors a vacuum. what happens when your brain becomes a vacuum, when you empty it?” and the answer is that it gets filled again. i will never be without. i can fill my brain with new thoughts and they will not be any less valid or true than the thoughts that came before.

even when i’m directly experiencing something, my experience takes a perspective. i am never objective. i don’t have to fear losing objectivity when it never existed in the first place - i can change my mind and my perspective.