• 4. i admit that i may have been lonely. i know that loneliness can produce bolts of hot pain, a pain which, if it stays hot enough for long enough, can begin to simulate, or to provoke - take your pick - an apprehenshion of the divine
  • 6. the half-circle of blinding turquoise ocean is this love's primal scene. that this blue exists makes my life a remarkable one, just to have seen it. to have seen such beautiful things
  • 8. do not, however, make the mistake of thinking all the desire is yearning (...) but i am not interested in longing to live in a world in which i already live. i don't want to yearn for blue things, and god forbid for any "blueness". above all, i want to stop missing you
  • 32. when i say "hope" i don't mean hope for anything in particular. i guess i just mean thinking that it's worth it to keep one's eyes open
  • 33. sometimes i worry that if i am not moved by a blue thing i may be completely despaired, or dead.
  • 36. goethe describes blue as a lively color, but one devoid of gladness. "it may be said to disturb eather than enliven". is to be in love with blue, then, to be in love with a disturbance? or is the love itself the disturbance? and what kind of madness is it anyway to be in love with something constitutionally incapable of loving you back? are you sure -one would like to ask- that it cannot love you back?
may 24 2022 ∞
may 24 2022 +