• Don't I miss penis? No I do not miss it. It being your purple-headed yogurt slinger. Your wee willie winkie. Just like in Paul Bunyan vs. the Machine. The machine wins. Plastic does not have an "off night." Plastic does not need some "attention" first. And moreover, plastic doesn't require that I clean it up and make it a sammich after. And really the function of the johnson is overrated. Even if I were still "Strictly Dickly" as Andie put it, most night, I really just want some foreplay and the Big O. Protruding, unreliable flesh sticks are not required for these things.
  • "I have a girlfriend" is not synonymous with "Would you like a threesome?" As I mentioned before, we are quite happy with our sex life and don't need your wang to feel complete. That said, one day we may feel freaky and want to invite a male into our room. Guaranteed he'd not be calling the shots, and could potentially feel a bit used after. Just saying.
  • Any guy who just read that last sentence and went "There's a chance!" Has absolutely no chance.
  • No you don't give oral better than my girl. I don't care if you have a forked tongue. I don't care if you've installed an outboard motor to your lingual frenulum.... I didn't invent the term "Megagasm" for nothing. And I certainly didn't invent it for a guy.
  • There's still NO chance. I'm serious, none.
  • I didn't go gay for lack of options. I don't need to be "shown" by someone who "knows."
  • I'm not an angry dyke. I don't hate men. I hate it when men ask me the same stupid questions over and over... but I don't hate men. I need men. I have sofas to move, jars to open and dark streets to walk down at night. The most important reason I need men is in the friend capacity. Be my friend... but ask me for a threesome and I kick you in the nuts.
jun 25 2010 ∞
jul 11 2010 +