list icon

the days recently have become too similar, so this list is a reminder for myself — even in the most monotonous and strange times various hapinesses can be found

~~~ ~~~

  • end notes: it's been such a turbulent month, but also i feel like compared to march, i've made a huge step forward. there has been much more light, and there were bad days but not as overwhelmingly bad as earlier. it's a progress that makes me really happy. i've been thinking much and i realized i've learnt many new things about myself (or things i've been to afraid to see and acknowledge) and these weren't only good things, but this always leaves space for growth. i'll do my best to use it well, it's a promise to myself.

~~~ ~~~

  • 30 - had a nice dream, and waking up rested is always a good thing; classes are getting more and more difficult, but im still holding on; watched road to kingdom and yelled about it with jam and lois and the entire tl actually, feeling so proud of tbz even though mnet turned this into a horror; tree shared her tbz love bot and it's so sweet and so much her; luckily remembered bout an assignment that's due midnight!! and finished it quickly
  • 29 - my brain is back to producing overcomplicated strange dreams but ill take them instead of nightmares any day; it is raining! i hope it doesn't stop too early; finished up all this week's assignments and still had enough time to read lots, trees are becoming greener, took a long time to listen to yerin baek's music, thought a lot about seokmin's words, talked w tree about a list of favourites
  • 28 - first non-nightmares night in so many days! woke up to tbz europe diary entries and i cant stop thinking about it now that i got to know how it was for them; managed all homeworks before lots of soft tender juyeon time; got back to reading dream thieves; gathered the courage and ignored the embarrassments to dm f and we've been catching up
  • 27 - read mary oliver's a thousand mornings, went through a serious case of feelings (goseling, woozlings, juyeonlings) what a yearning day
  • 26 - it's a relief when homework goes quicker and better than expected; gose marathon and the ttt tenderness; reminiscing the wildness of kid parties; had ice cream!
  • 25 - after 5 nights i finally slept, the dreams still weren't the best but at least not very terrifying; the homework i was so terrified of turned out to be easier than i expected; vanilla ice cream! hours of hanging out with lois and jam on youtube ended with so many feelings and an unexpected sincere conversation; i am the most grateful in the world
  • 24 - woke up to a very blue dawn, talked with jam and lois about more and less serious things; yearning for grocery shoppings. it's my lil sis' birthday! i think the gift made her excited; reminisced moominvalley in november, maybe a reread soon?
  • 23 - zoomed through homework and finally got to read again and then couldn't stop; wrote a letter to erigi
  • 22 - there were some buffy problems but it looks like everything is all good now, could listen to nice songs while taking an exam at home - passed it although not with a satisfying result; held hands with lois in children of the light game!!! and flew through clouds!!; watched the girl who leapt through time with jam and lois and oh god i love it and them so much
  • 21 - seulgi and irene. a productive day! i managed to finish things up and revise. got updated on kosher and his friends <3
  • 20 - tried writing down my dream but it's impossible to follow the events (if they were linear at all); feeling productive! i've finished most of this week's assignments, and it's a good kind of busy even though i feel like complaining. first green leaves on trees! they are so vibrant and saturated and alive, everything in bloom
  • 19 - extremely sleepy but managed to finish up homework; went back to mumford&sons music from long ago, got around to making and updating the words of tenderness list on here; talked w tree about growth and expectations
  • 18 - a verse from "chosen family" by sawayama made me think about jamlois ("tell me your story and i'll tell you mine/i'm all ears, take your time, we've got all night/show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled/show me who made you walk all the way here"); maybe i do remember something from pre-quarantine classes; made tteokbokki while listening to music that makes my heart happy, crash landing on you is driving me insane; had a nice pondering time writing a letter to juyeon
  • 17 - enjoying children of the light game, listening to music while in online class made it less sleepy; sawayama album is a masterpiece; crash landing on you is driving me insane. wrote a letter to kevin moon and it made me so happy! i'm drying some spring flowers
  • 16 - more morning quizes unpacking and more words and tenderness and sometimes you just feel like exploding from the amount of love. shared a secret with jamlois. i love them so much.
  • 15 - it rained first time in at least a month and flowers started suddenly blooming and leaves unfolding on trees; toto africa posts on tumblr still exist! went through the tag on my own blog and felt happy; found out my new type of love language is love letters and found it so fitting, especially with the explanation that pretty much described me and my actions; spent the rest of the afternoon sharing childhood stories and warm memories with jamlois
  • 14 - had a very funny juyeon dream, spent the last day of spring break watching a resident evil playthrough, baked banana bread; a quiz told me i am 1pm as a time of the day (nature, coziness, lying on warm grass and watching the clouds, mentally a sunflower)
  • 13 - started the day off talking about the raven boys (and girl!) with jamlois; tree trusted me with a lot, we've been realising how much giving there is in friendships and talked about the weight of it all
  • 12 - it was lovely to hang out on the balcony, and the weather was warm and the light of the sunset was warm and gold. a quiz told me i'm like my neighbor totoro, the results were so lovely; finished the raven boys
  • 11 - a quote in raven boys reminded me of woozi simple
  • 10 - 우지의 우주, 宇宙工厂, come to me lyrics
  • 9 - talked with jamlois about arrietty and an article on the dub (oh to research ghibli movies), mom brought fresh flowers and i'm waiting for them to bloom, talked with lois about languages and dreams and much more; first proper group call with tromsø gals since 2017(!)
  • 8 - the most wholesome feelings after watching arrietty and i love it so much more now; a soft sunset; making crepes that took me way too much time
  • 7 - jam day! seeing everyone loving her so much, and feeling the love myself - highlight of the entire day. cleaned windows. washing the curtains in our bathtub made me strangely happy. strange quizes and soft answers and scary results, but the best conversation that felt like a sleepover night and the most love and tenderness. feeling so reassured and loved, i'll cherish it a lot
  • 6 - having a lot of time to read made me happy; talked w tree about ancient times tbz au
  • 5 - oh wonder's new song, preparing a little birthday gift for jam, the beginning of mingyu day, tree mentioned the times she first dmed me and we laughed about the awkwardness of it all
  • 4 - i almost desperately needed to know what to read, lost in all the books i havent even touched yet, and was recommended some; kiki's delivery service is much more heartwarming than i remembered; there was an online charity concert and the lyrics of the songs made me cry
  • 3 - despite all the snowfalls, the spring must be coming. it has buffy looking for sunlight falling on the floor to lay down in
  • 2 - whisper of the heart
  • 1 - understood everything in class and made my teacher laugh (with my no brain skills), watched howl's moving castle with lois and jam and went crazy from the devastation; the chinese character for rain looks like watching rain through a window
mar 29 2020 ∞
apr 30 2020 +