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  • 31 - dreams so ridiculous they were hilarious, one especially. had time to watch when the camellia blooms and i think i'm enjoying it although maybe i should focus on studying right now? dina saying all the lovely things. tree loving. i've been thinking about how this month went by, looking at this list too, and i could pinpoint exactly the better and worse days. i don't know what it means yet but i'm hoping for the good. always hoping.
  • 30 - the day of yearning, there is no other way to describe it. very important zoom meeting (and then very important zoom meeting 2.0). the reactions to juyeon saying mahal kita right after mentioning he rewatched howl's moving castle in an old vlive. my face hurting from all the smiling. fancafe letter saturday night.
  • 29 - started the day by completing all assignments apart from one (it's ok to do it tomorrow though) before today's class even started, so it made me feel productive. bb bagel!! i'm in the mood to write letters i think. started watching when the camellia blooms
  • 28 - i'm feeling proud of myself for keeping up with homeworks, suddenly feeling like maybe i do have control over this. there was twilight on the tv in the evening so that was fun (the way i still know it by heart though?)
  • 27 - had an extremely funny dream. ordered a reveal album and i know i won't win because it's a lottery, but i'll finally have my own copy (and it's my first tbz album) and they add a set of new pcs. had time to rest. stumbled on an embarrassingly bad juyeon thread on twitter and it was just funny bad. hilarious bad.
  • 26 - so many things happening all at once; woke up early, started on homeworks, watched svt anniversary video and the show, and juyeon's vlive which was so gentle and healing. finished the video project and submitted it without looking back, submitted the remaining 3 assignments as well. the photo of red moon lois showed me. started reading tales from moominvalley; watched loving vincent
  • 25 - watched the happy show about tbz taking care of abandoned puppies before i started with today's work and i think it was a good decision, listened to dedicated side b by carly rae jepsen and lost my mind; watched videos with lois and got done with assignments (besides the video one) (tomorrow)
  • 24 - made a carrd and it was actually a lot of fun and a lot easier than i had thought; blueberries for today; found an old moomin book and i've been fighting myself to sit down and work on my video project instead of reading; managed to prepare everything for the video project in the end
  • 23 - i think today started nicely, there's just one homework to do and then i can not sit in a chair for the rest of the day <3; took out my ukulele after a few years; took a lot of time to just lie around and not do anything special; had some watermelon!; watched only yesterday; wrote a letter to juyeon that had me excited for some time already
  • 22 - suddenly got an overwhelming amount of assignments, but trying little by little is okay. thinking about the boyz while at it.
  • 21 - the boyz. road to kingdom. no words; lois saying i seem more open since gen z interviews and i've been thinking about it
  • 20 - slept well; lois art on twt
  • 19 - rain rain
  • 18 - rain-soaked air made breathing easier
  • 17 - talked with lois about moominvalley in november; little forest with the gals - some little forests whisper names when the wind dances around the leaves, mine does
  • 16 - introducing miss dina to tbz and all of that because of a tweet misunderstanding; sunwoo words sunwoo words
  • 15 - sunwoo's letter on fancafe; b sending me cloy poetry parallels
  • 14 - road to kingdom insanity and tears and screams; taemin going live to talk about tbz cover of danger; talked with tree about some stuff and it made me feel a bit lighter
  • 13 - watched we need to talk about kevin with jam; the sky was very pink
  • 12 - tbz generation z video thoughts
  • 11 - day6's new album; looking up new art projects of olafur eliasson (tokyo 2020 exhibition!) calmed me greatly
  • 10 - mom's birthday! a sunny day; i've been experimenting (struggling) with video editing for hw and it worked out! have i just learnt editing videos? wow; been listening to old eurovision songs while at it, and i miss watching it with friends; almost an interactive story-rpg convo i had with tree made me smile a lot
  • 9 - i redecorated my walls a bit in the morning and did a major clean up - feeling fresh!; dione birthday! it's crazy how our friendship happened, from streaming ideal cut concerts together all the way to us meeting in singapore?; first ever video call with n and i was so nervous but it turned out to be a very comfortable time, we ended up hanging out and chatting a bit as she was painting, for almost 2 hours
  • 8 - this not so good week ended so well, with lois and jam on metastream for longer than i was expecting and it was a lot of fun and i keep being surprised by how easy it is to keep loving them more and more
  • 7 - i wouldn't survive rtk emotions and stresses by myself; been thinking about berries and i maybe would like to plant some myself; minghao's new song came out and i understood parts of the lyrics just from listening
  • 6 - quizes, quizes, quizes, fairies, nymphs, women of art with lois and jam, the devastations! so many devastations, i am saving it all; lois' jasmine adventures; going through cloy feelings with b; went out to take a walk with buffy and it was sunny and there were so many daisies in the park; i am just softness and yearning today
  • 5 - welcomed the day with lois' finished art and i may have run out of words to describe how much i love it and how much i love her and how i'm a bit sad it's over because this entire experience has been something incredible and magical and just wittnessing her art! coming to life! i'm speechless about all of this.
  • 4 - went on a car ride for the first time in what must be ages and yes it was all because of a stressful doctor appointment, but i saw the vibrant green of spring forests and a stork in a field, and listened to the sound of rain with my eyes closed (i wasn't the one driving)
  • 3 - quizes with lois and jam from early morning; talked about the dream thieves with them; managed to write a few emails in traditional chinese; downloaded desktop meadow for my computer <3; the naomi novik ao3 disaster that followed (disaster than made me cry laugh though)
  • 2 - did homework and had time to rest and read; finished dream thieves, wrote a letter; approached b about cloy
  • 1 - lots of rain and the air is so fresh and i woke up rested i think; slept to the sound of rain which is always a healing experience; watched the half of it with lois and jam 1.75 times in one sitting and loved every second of it, i'm still filled with so many feelings, so much love
apr 29 2020 ∞
jun 1 2020 +