huaishi. shades of green. questioning everything. mood swings. pride. beauty. anger. leaves. black sand. moths. photography. loyalty. animations. jean paul gaultier. long hair. huge eyes. silver. syrian bread. the white in waves. tenderness. obsessions. gardening. perception. creatures that fit the palm of my hand. rebellion. visual kei bands. grumpy cats. fiona. singing for my loved ones. lost causes. revenge. changing. rosemary and thyme. letterboxd. 90's music. eroticism. shoegaze. ladybugs. volcanoes. and poetry!!!

i am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. i am the seasons, I think sometimes, january, may, november; the mud, the mist, the dawn. i cannot be tossed about, or float gently, or mix with other people.

‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ — virginia woolf.

terror te amar num sítio tão frágil como o mundo. mal de te amar neste lugar de imperfeição. onde tudo nos quebra e emudece. onde tudo nos mente e nos separa. [s.m.b.a]  ❃ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂

— favourite writers:

• milan kundera ;
• wislawa szymborska ;
• sylvia plath ;
• elvira vigna ;
• sophia de mello breyner andresen ;
• caio fernando abreu ;
• clarice lispector ;
• catherynne m. valente ;
• roberto bolaño ;
• fernando pessoa ;
• adília lopes ;
• fyodor dostoevsky.

— getting acquainted to:

• leo tolstoy ;

[the silence of plants]

a one-sided relationship is developing quite well between you and me. i know what a leaf, petal, kernel, cone, and stem are, and i know what happens to you in april and december.

though my curiosity is unrequited, i gladly stoop for some of you, and for others I crane my neck.

i have names for you: maple, burdock, liverwort, eather, juniper, mistletoe, and forget-me-not; but you have none for me.

after all, we share a common journey. when traveling together, it's normal to talk, exchanging remarks, say, about the weather, or about the stations flashing past.

we wouldn't run out of topics for so much connects us. the same star keeps us in reach. we cast shadows according to the same laws. both of us at least try to know something, each in our own way, and even ...

• on X
• on letterboxd
• on spotify
• on telegram
• on carrd
• and a cancer baby (july 3rd), tyvm!

stop looking for reasons to hate people. stop focusing on others and fix your own character. i know it makes you proud to have some honor, but you are only mud and water.

❃ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ imam ali.

small ooc note. não há nada de profissional aqui, é só um espaço de preenchimento afetivo, baseado nas mudanças de humor da niyi e nos gostos dela. dedico o listo às informações de trivia, gosto pela música, poesia e moodboards no geral. coisas mais fieis ao plot e trabalho da niyi estão descritas no carrd e são desenvolvidas no canal ou tl. a lógica aqui é dividir presente, passado e futuro na main page/arquivo/on going. amo este site muitão e os convido a entrar para trocar listinhas também. :*

❃ jean paul gaultier! (#1 always) ;

❃ 'キラメキの中で・・・ (kirameki no naka de...) by buck-tick / 'missing you' by 2ne1 / 'pound town 2' by sexyy red 🍒 / 'butterflies' by tyla ;

❃ sonder's discography ;

❃ killing stalking (☠️ again, yes) ;

❃ creating new playlists ;

❃ miss sullen apple ;

❃ pictorials ;

❃ using matko to start an yazawa cult ;

❃ customizing stuff!

i can never be all the people i want and live all the lives I want. i can never train myself in all the skills i want. and why do i want? i want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life.

ᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟᅟ — sylvia plath.

[quatro da madrugada]

hora entre a noite e o dia.

hora de um lado para o outro.

hora para os trintões.

hora arrumada para o galo cantar.

hora em que a terra nos repudia.

hora em que o vento de estrelas extintas assobia.

hora do será-que-de-nós-nada-vai-restar.

hora vazia.

surda, vã.

o fundo de todas as outras horas.

ninguém se sente bem às quatro da madrugada.

se as formigas se sentem bem às quatro da madrugada

— felicitemos as formigas. e que soem às cinco

se é para continuar vivendo.

wislawa.

(我) but matthew did it for me.

• an animal : rabbit/cat/fish ;
• an aroma/smell : hazelnut ;
• a god or goddess : niyi ;
• a day of the week : thursday ;
• an element : water ;
• a holiday : christmas ;
• a film : suzhou river* ;
• a taste : of strawberry ;
• a musical instrument : piano
• a book : the bible ;
• a place : beach ;
• a month : december ;
• a number : 11 ;
• a character : ponyo ;
• a planet : venus ;
• a quote : "and there’s too much going on but it’s calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion"* ;
• a feeling : stubbornness ;
• a verb : to write ;

• flowers: pansy ⋅ anemone ⋅ verbena ⋅ orchid ⋅ dahlia ⋅ peony
• colours: green (olive, jade) ⋅ purple (mauve, lilac) ⋅ black
• names : celine ⋅ maria ⋅ alma ⋅ 梦瑶 (mèng yáo) ⋅ amani
• weather : sunny mornings ⋅ windy and cool at the beach
• feelings : anger ⋅ relief ⋅ happiness
• sounds : wind whistles ⋅ waves breaking ⋅ typing noises
• places : harbin ⋅ nyc ⋅ amalfi ⋅ taipei ⋅ seoul ⋅ reykjavik
• words : true ⋅ venom ⋅ saudade ⋅ habibi ⋅ tender ⋅ luna
• desserts : baobao ⋅ coconut icecream ⋅ milky chocolate
• drinks : italian soda ⋅ cuba libre ⋅ sparkly water
• hobbies : reading ⋅ moodboards ⋅ singing ⋅ doing nothing