TO READ

• A Canticle to Leibowitz, W. Miller
• A Guide to Art Nouveau
• A Pilgrim's Progress, J. Bunyan (ongoing)
• German lit
• Heine poetry
• Hoffmann
• Memories, Dreams, Reflections, C.G. Jung
• Paradise Lost, J. Milton
• Plato
  • Apologia Socratis
  • Crito
  • Euthyphro
  • Phaedo
  • Symposium
• Saved poetry
• The Bible
  • Ecclesiastes

LOOKS

• taller than me but not too tall
• dark hair, not black
• eccentric-looking, but attractive
• knows how to dress
• good posture
• not buff, just a lean guy

PERSONALITY

• kind
• respectful
• loves animals
• respects women
• not soy
• traditionally masculine
• patient
• appreciates me like i deserve
• positive outlook on life
• humorous and can take a joke
• not an incel
• adequate self-esteem

FICTION

• The H.P. Lovecraft collection
• A.Pushkin "Eugene Onegin" (re-read)
• M.Bulgakov "A Young Doctor's Notebook" ✦✦✦✦✦
• M.Bulgakov "Morphine" ✦✦✦✦✦
• W.Golding "The Lord of the Flies" ✦✦✦✦✧
• 50 Great Short Stories (ongoing)
  • A. Huxley - The Gioconda Smile
  • A. Chekhov - The Upheaval

NON-FICTION

• S.Covey "The Seven Habits of Highly-Productive People"

Lord give me strength to overcome my anemia and be able to read with a considerable reserve of stamina again, please.

TO READ

BREAKFAST

• Omelet
• Cheese Toast
• Avocado Toast
• Smoothies
• Tomato Egg Stir-fry

LUNCH

• Cheese Soup
• Pumpkin Soup
• Noodle Soup
• Chicken Soup
• Mushroom Soup
• Veggie Soup (no chicken broth)

DINNER

• Chicken Curry
• Japanese or Indian version
• Beef Curry
• Asian-style pork
• Baked potatoes

BIBLIOTEKA AROMATOV

• Blood ✦✦✦✦✦

Really sexy. Tangy and deep, herbal and just a bit salty, it smells like an obsession with something, someone. I don't think it really smells like blood though, making it suitable for everyday wear, perhaps just not too much? It matches my expectations in full, so I'm ordering a 30ml as soon as I am able.

• Jasmine ✦✦✧✧✧

I like Jasmine green tea, but this one is too much. It smells essentially like jasmine but I found the scent to be too monotonous, reminds me of cheaper men's eau-de-colognes. Hell, what was I expecting from a singular-type-fragrance?

• Petrichor ✦✦✦✧✧

It's okay. Too intense sometimes but as i...

• — ✦ Yes - Soon

Long ago,

Set into rhyme...

• — ✦ Genesis - Am I Really Wrong?

God! Where is my soul now?

• — ✦ Pink Floyd - Echoes

Strangers passing in the street

By chance, two separate glances meet

And I am you and what I see is me

• — ✦ Peter Gabriel - No Self Control

You know I hate to hurt you

I hate to see your pain

But I don't know how to stop

I don't know how to stop

• — ✦ Tame Impala - Yes I'm Changing

There is a world out there, and it's calling my name

MOVIES

• The Shining ✦✦✦✦✧
• The Substance ✦✦✦✦✦ (I REALLY LOVED THE SOUNDTRACK)
• The Girl and Death ✦✦✦✦✧
• The NeverEnding Story ✦✦✦✦✧
• The Lighthouse ✦✦✦✦✧ (artsy yet unpretentious)
• Kung-Fu Panda ✦✦✦✦✧ (+ actually good childhood memories of my father)

SERIES

• Severance
  • S1 ✦✦✦✦✦
  • S2 ✦✦✦✧✧
• The Sopranos
  • S1 ✦✦✦✦✦
  • S2 ✦✦✦✦✦

TO WATCH OR RE-WATCH

MOVIES

• Morphine ✦✦✦✦✦
• The Lake House ✦✦✦✦✧
• Dead Poets' Society ✦✦✧✧✧
• The Master and Margarita ✦✦✦✦✧
• Pearl ✦✦✧✧✧
• Oppenheimer ✦✧✧✧✧
• The Matrix ✦✦✦✧✧
• Constantine ✦✦✦✦✧
• 12 Chairs (didn't finish)
• The End of Evangelion (re-watch)
• Poor Things ✦✦✦✧✧
• The Truman Show ✦✦✦✦✧
• The Matrix Reloaded ✦✦✦✧✧
• Mister Designer ✦✦✦✧✧
• Russian Ark ✦✦✦✦✦
• Generation P ✦✦✦✦✦
• Legally Blonde ✦✦✦✦✦
• 12 Years a Slave ✦✦✦✧✧
• American Psycho ✦✦✦✧✧

SERIES

• The Warden (Superjail)
• Dr. Katz (Dr. Katz Professional Therapist)
• Saul Goodman (Breaking Bad\Better Call Saul)
• Daniil Dankovsky (Pathologic, Pathologic 2)
• Eva Yan (Pathologic, Pathologic 2)

I always forget what I really want to do in life during my more depressive episodes so I am putting it down here.

TRAVEL

• Russia
  • Karelia
  • See the Mother Russia monument complex
  • Vladivostok
  • Murmansk
  • Siberia somewhere
  • Caucasus
  • just take that red plane anywhere in my region
• India
• North Korea
• Japan
• New Zealand
• US

LIFE

♂

• Eustace
• Daniel
• Constantine
• Alexander
• Allen, Allan
• Florian
• Martin
• Felix

♀

• Martha
• Esther
• Katherine
• Eve, Eva

• Puma's purring
• men speaking softly
• sound of my heels on the concrete when i jump a bit
• gun clicking
• ice crackling
• bookpages
• church bells pealing
• my glass nib pen against the paper
• overall i love men's voices

MUSIC

• mellotron, so mysterious
• slide guitar
• bright piano
• percussion
• swift bass, like in the Japanese jazzfusion albums, or Steely Dan
• symphonic, baroque stuff

THINGS

• new camera
• mini printer
• home decor
• glass nib pen
• cable organizer
• album
• that one grey shirt
• thermometer
• perfume (samples ordered)
  • Blood
  • Moon
• electric lighter
• new graphic tablet
• telegram premium for a year
• diary decor
• lingerie perhaps
• a top hat
• new bowties
• new ties

BODY

• ferritin 100+
• exercise more once i feel better
  • biking
  • running
  • maybe try to go to gym??...
• new hairstyle, perhaps one that is shorter
• get night lenses

MIND

• go places that attract me
• do things that feel right
• less distractions
  • youtube for example
• distance myself from what's wrong for me
• read more books and articles
• watch more movies

STUDIES

SUPPLEMENTS

• Mg
• Folate
• Zn
• B12
• Vit D

STUFF

• e-reader
• tablet + pen
• mirror
• futon?
• tatami
• kettle
• blood perfume

• wet rugs
• anemia
• screeching noises
• brain fog
• first day of period
• babysitting adult ppl
• not being able to hang with my long-distance friends
• PMSing
• overstimulation
• waking up during the night for no apparent reason
• lukewarm tea
• having greasy hair, face
• single use plastics, overall plastics
• being hugged awkwardly

✦ —— current

• jouranling/listography
• cooking/baking
• trying new things
• drawing
• biking
• crocheting
• calligraphy/lettering
• scrapbooking/junkbooking
• photography
• music

✧ —— wanna try

• papermaking
  • water tub
  • photo frames
  • cotton cloth
  • blender
• drying flowers/plants
• cross-stitching

Done:

• The Red Arrow ✦✦✦✧✧

Ongoing:

• The Call of Ctulhu & Other Weird Stories by H.P. Lovecraft
  • Dagon ✦✦✦✧✧
  • The Statement of Randolph Carter ✦✦✧✧✧
  • Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family ✦✦✦✦✧
  • Celephaïs ✦✦✦✦✦
  • Nyarlathhotep ✦✦✧✧✧
  • The Picture in the House ✦✦✦✧✧
  • The Outsider ✦✦✦✦✧
  • Herbert West -- Reanimator ✦✦✦✦✧
  • The Hound
  • The Rats in the Walls
  • The Festival

✦ MOVIES

• Major Grom: The Plague Doctor
• Grom: A Rough Childhood
• That Film About Sugar
• The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
  • "Acquaintance"
  • "The Hound of the Baskervilles"
• The Crimson Rivers 1 & 2
• Dogma (didn't finish)

✦ SHOWS

• Trigger, both seasons