This Week's Highlights

• 444
  • Endlessly, over and over, I've been seeing 444 and 888. It's messages coming on so strongly and aptly. A reassurance that I am provided for, extremely supported and blessed in my chosen actions, in my chosen path. All is well. I have nothing to fear. As I wrote in a recent journal entry, "I am loved. I am protected. I am guided." Those three phrases really capture how I've been feeling recently and also a mantra and affirmation I want to keep going back to as I continue on.
• Feelings of restlessness...when it comes to rest.
  • Along with the week ending and my menstrual cycle starting, I also found my energy declining. I had goals and weekly intentions unmet or pushed back. I felt uncomfortable resting because I feared my dreams will be taken away from me because if I'm not working towards them 24/7, an external source will decide I'm not worthy to receive my gifts.
  • But also noting that I wasn't overpowered by these feelings or this anxiety (as much as I was before). I also engaged in activities that can help me balance my emotions & thoughts such as yoga, meditation, having a dance party, playing rock music, etc. :)
• Finding feelings of Love again.(And again, and again.)
  • It's subtle and it's not 24/7 but they're there, daily. In increments, in short moments that can feel so expansive and eternal. Within me, I find it. Feelings of joy. Feelings of hope. Feelings of trust. Feelings of compassion. Feelings of love.
  • I celebrate this!
• ❀ Hey Wildflower ❀
  • Last week, I brought up the idea with Jaja about me possibly managing her Hey Wildflower account - the sister floral arrangements brand to her bridal shop. It was a passing idea initially when I was wondering how I can earn money but it eventually slipped my mind until I had to talk to Jaja to share what happened with Ara during the last week of January.
  • I couldn't bring myself to end the call until I mentioned it at least and asked her thoughts about it. She was open to it. Afterwards, I couldn't help but wonder if the universe was nudging me towards this direction - I kept coming across the word blossom the days before and also seeing flowers.
  • We had our first run this Valentine's Day and I was scared of asking what our payment arrangement was but just trusted that she'll share what she deems generous but reasonable. True enough, I earned more than I thought I would for around 2 days' total of work at most! Waaaahh. I felt so blessed when I found out how much I was given.
• Consistently thinking, "what to do next?" / "what do I do now?" / "what do I want to do again?"
  • Thoughts of feeling unsure / confused were quite prominent / consistent this week - during this liminal space from an energy-charged past weeks to a waiting period before movement begins again (paid trial for transcription).
  • I guess the invitation is...how do you follow through even when momentum is dwindling down? How do you match the new pace - how do you go with the flow? I think of surfing and the waiting for the wave, before you gear up to stand and ride the wave.
  • I also realize that this must be the reason why your why must be strong - to maintain your intentions, to remember why you're doing what you're doing or desire what you desire.

Aaah, I have been missing the beach. I wish to go to La Union this year. Perhaps learn to drive so I can drive myself there (and anywhere!)