11th // I am typing this while my feet are soaked in hot water (trying to soften those calluses, you see). I think I seriously need intervention for my ~impulsive spending. I have no care for how I spend my money that I usually (meaning __always__) will not have any left for the future (long term wise, most especially). How to change this?

Anyway, I am trying to start over again (for the nth time). Making plans for the future; trying to lay out how I want 2018 to be like. I might start a bullet journal just to keep track of things. I really need effort to make things happen. (Effort = something I lack when it comes to things that are for myself. I don't think I lack effort when it comes to catering to someone else / others).

12th // Today, I woke up feeling groggy for work. Probably because I was still on my phone in the wee hours of the morning. (Never a good idea for your eyes but I never learn). Work turned out okay - which here means, a bit boring or has me feeling unmotivated. I think after a couple of weeks spent over worrying and panicking and over working, I got depleted so now I am putting minimal effort into it. :( Need to change this soon! I still have work to get finished and I have a team to support!_

On the other hand, Ara cried at lunch today. I have noticed she's been a bit masungit towards me yesterday and earlier today. I was starting to wonder if I did something that triggered her to have such moods but I also kept reminding myself that since it's Ara, she would surely tell me if it was me that was bothering her. Today at lunch, she apologized for projecting a bit of her mood towards me when in fact she was stressing about a work related thing. I was glad that we were able to clear things up before I started getting emo about it. HAHAHA I can be really sensitive about feeling disliked especially if it's my best friend we're talking about here!

I was planning to do something special to cheer Ara up like buy her a crafty sunflower from Common Room but I got out of work a bit late. So timely though that she messaged, asking if I wanted to have dinner out. She suggested B-Wings but when I got home I volunteered Caution! Hot instead. I MISSED THEIR FOOOOODDD. (But that oolong milk tea is slowly starting to lose its novelty on me...).

To end, I voiced out to Ara that I wanted a boyfriend (I get that same feeling every now and then) na and coincidentally, my crush messaged me tonight - about something mundane such as asking if I know anyone interested in buying a t.v. HAHAHA but, it's just nice to think how timely it happened.

14th // I missed a day! Hahaha. I hope it doesn't become a habit... Just kidding! My long writing from the 12th should have made up for it. ;) Damn, the "u" key of my keyboard is getting wonky. :| Anyway...I spent the day trying to buy gifts for my officemates but ended up buying things for myself (what's new). Tsk tsk. Nothing special about today except I am close to broke again. Seriously. I'm back to having almost no money left in my bank account while having debts to pay! Aieeen, get a grip on your life!

15th // I am honestly a bit too tired to write but there are things to tell, so tell I must. (Char).

I woke up not feeling like going to work (for the nth time) and I find it troubling because I'm not sure where these feelings are exactly coming from. Is it really work that's making me feel unmotivated in the mornings? Is it my habit of sleeping late the past couple of weeks and it's making my energy low in the mornings? Is it what I eat? I guess I must eliminate a few things to figure it out. Maybe try sleeping earlier and improving the food I eat. Perhaps I'll figure out then which of among the three is triggering my un-sunny mornings. I'm not being a good team player at work recently due to this. :(

I went to the UP Lantern Parade with my office mates tonight! What I noticed the most I guess...were all the cute boys in campus!! HAHAHA Damn, someone is a thirsty tita (a.k.a. moi). But seriously, I don't remember having that many cute boys around the block when I was still in college...anyway, the campus and the annual event made me feel a bit nostalgic - which is always a bittersweet feeling. I met up with Cris afterwards to get my Christmas gift and spend a little time with him and the two boys he was with. It was okay. I was a bit tired from all the walking I made tonight especially since I wasn't wearing the best shoes for it.

16th // I am quite behind on a lot of things! Basically a backlog on all the things I need to do like update my accounting, do my laundry, buy / write Christmas presents, change my sheets, buy a pillow, work production, work production, work production. Aaaah!

Today I spent the day being mediocre at work yet again by not having more initiative in doing things. :| Ugh, must deal with these feelings ASAP (a.k.a. this Monday, perhaps after our office Christmas party...)

My former housemates and I had a Christmas dinner at Gino's Brick Oven Pizza and we had exchange gifts! I didn't expect to receive more than my Christmas Santa's but Ja and Ate Vianks gave us individual gifts so I am grateful! I have realized that Jaja really loves me a lot and I do feel quite guilty that I can't return the same feelings equally. I love her but...there's a but in that sentence. *sigh* I also gave Ara her Christmas present already since I am impatient to wait until near Christmas. Hahaha. It has been sitting around the house for a couple of weeks now and I just feel restless knowing it's.just.there. HAHAHA I am really terrible at delayed gratification.

A dinner with my relatives was also scheduled tonight because our cousin who works in Dubai just got home for the holidays. I really didn't want to miss it because I miss my siblings (they'll be there) who I haven't seen in a while too! I went soon after my dinner with the housemates wrapped up. So happy to have seen my cousins and siblings! We talked travel plans to Dubai for 2019 mostly. :) Excited to plan things for the future!