Isang liham. Ng pamamaalam. Ng paghawan sa mga pinagdaanan

Nakalipas na taon hindi naman sa binabaon pero nais itanim at hayaan mabulok, ang kainin ng lupa ang mga handa nang bumalik sa bisig ng Nanay

at pabungahin ang dapat pausbunging sa taon na paparating

~~~

I don't want to sound poetic. I just want to write thing as it is.

My finances does not feel secure right now. Aahh, stop with the organization dear brain. Just write everything down. forget punctuatiions and capitalizations, spelling and grammar and other what nots

just write your thoughts just write your thoughts get them out of your head

the year is ending the year is ending there is so much to look back on

january to february jumped so easily to december ending what did i do what have i done??

so many opportunities showed up before me remember?

there's that work with AccuMap you even gave Josanna a try - was it fear that held you backk? there was that transcription stint that generated a lot of money so many opening offerings from Sara suggestions from your sister

what did i do? what did i do?

there was your work with Ea work with Ea aaah, that took longer than i planned that took longer than i wanted...

i wanted to quit before i even started

i convinced myself it was for me...

i convinced myself everything that showed up was for me...

i forgot to discern, to feel into my bones how will this fill me up? how will this unfold? what does this nourish within me? what am i nourishing outside of me?

what am I continuing to nourish as life unfolded?

one thing for sure - my relationship with Ara my ego too...its made-up stories of 'i will be magnificent here' / 'this is that path written for me'

how was it all just an illusion? it was both a mirror and a reflection...

illusion and my truth mixed together - like yin and yang like a mixture of paint - a gradient they are intertwined they dance allow both to lead but let truth reign

~~~

it was a life of curiosity indeed but with curiosity I abandoned discernment i was too carefree i did things almost carelessly

'all for the soul'

i convinced myself

buy this, sleep more, aahhh...how to dance with one's energy?

am I now just evading the matter I want to think / talk about?

finances plans for next year plans for the next few years after soul nourishment big changes big changes a life i have never led the life i have always dreamed of

it's there, on the other side of the new year awaiting me awaiting me ~

I want to greet it. What do i need to leave behind to do so? what do i need to modify?

I want to greet the best life that awaits me.

Face the Facts

• I want to spend smarter
• I want to believe that spending is a scared act.
  • what do I bring about when I spend?
  • what do I bring in when I purchase?

Habits To Consider