7/18/22

• I'm thankful that I'm in the company of a good work team. I feel like there is an openness that allows for safe, honest, and direct communication that withholds or sets aside personal judgement. I think it's a safe place to be my full self - allowed to make mistakes and given guidance on how to improve them. There is room for growth.

I feel safe in this space.

• I'm proud of myself for finally sharing with Ara how I've been feeling for the longest time, since October 2021. My fear of what changing directions might mean for our friendship, my uncertainty of continuing with and staying in the org, what I desire (focus on my dreams).
• I'm grateful that I was received well. I'm grateful that Ara even thanked me, saying, "Thank you for allowing me to comfort you."
• I feel grateful that I have really good friends. Friends I can trust and feel safe with. Friends who are ready to meet me where I am. Friends who are ready to meet me where I am. Always. How blessed I am to have these kinds of relationships.
• I'm grateful and I celebrate that I'm finally here. I have a job that will allow me to have space from where I've overly dedicated myself (my housemates and my org), helping me get back to how it feels like to live with my needs and goals as focus. I think it provides a good platform to help reframe my thoughts or habits of thinking that I've developed during the last months or the latter part of 2021, onwards.
• I'm thankful that I am now earning more than what I regularly did since the pandemic started. I now have more breathing space financially.

For now, I want to focus on what I have and see the potential of what and how I can go from there.

My fears and doubts still show up at times in my relationship with Ara. For now, I want to give us both space to breathe and grow into the new cocoon of our friendship and our personal lives.

I'm grateful that we've had a decade long friendship wherein we were close witnesses to each others' lives. What a rare finding that is. What a rare find that is. I feel blessed to be gifted with such a rich relationship. I don't want to smother it. I hope to give it what it needs so that it can reach full bloom.

Thank you, thank you.

• I'm also grateful that I recognized and acted upon the need to reacquaint myself with the company of old friends - Jaja, Cris, Sarah, Kat and Madey, my sister.
  • It's good to surround myself with safe spaces / company. To remind myself, I have an existing steady and reliable support system. I am rich in friendship, and I am rich in love.

I hope you remember, Aien, that you took part in helping these seeds grow and thrive and be strong and stay strong.

• I'm also happy that I have my previous Innisfree facial wash back, hihi, and that I'm also trying a new skin care product for my face. I feel excited to see if my skin will improve and have better texture after using both for some time. Hehehe
• I also feel excited about dressing up again. It's been a while since I looked forward to or felt confident about what I was wearing. I have forgotten that how you dress can help boost once confidence or make one feel empowered or attractive. It was nice to be reminded of that aspect of clothing and accessories.
  • I think it's good to notice it at a time when I'm not as insecure or self-conscious as I was before. There is less attachment now to what clothes can do for you and your image yet there's also this reminder that how you dress can be one of the tools through which you can feel good about yourself. Yaaayy!
• I'm grateful for the free food today and the abundance of desserts / sweets.
• I'm grateful for the thoughtful pasalubong gifts from my boss.
• I'm grateful for our unique office space.
• I'm grateful I got a free, comfortable/convenient, ride home.
• I'm grateful Ara and I had a negative antigen result.