ive yet to decide how I feel about this one. I feel like I was being spontaneous for all the wrong reasons. This was so wrong....

I knew when I went out for the night I would regret it

I even drank.... I asked him for some drinks. I asked Oliver. OLIVER. For drinks. Fuck. Me

I don't even want to explain the night...

• I left home at about 8:30
• I flagged down a taxi on I road
• he drove me all the way to lane cove. He was a nice man. We had a little conversation on the way there about driving and all that
• I pull up to Oliver's house. I'm getting nervous, my heart is going nuts (not because I was excited but because WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING?) and I spot him walking up the street to pay for the taxi fare.
• we get inside... I screwed up pretty much everything. It went well but it also didn't go so well. I really had no idea he had sexual intentions but turns out he did and I just went with it. Again, fuck me.
• I had two glasses of wine but hey because I'm a pathetic lightweight that fucked me up pretty easily. I do remember oliver saying he didn't want to take advantage of me while drunk but I let him.....ugh
• yes the entirety of last night goes against everything I love for but I don't know. I just wanted to be different for once
• nsfw details elsewhere