so a lot of things went wrong. also, a lot more things could have gone a lot more wrong. for some reason...none of the things that happened are bothering me too much. in fact, i'm over most of it. but for the sake of recounting:

• fleur got herself into a minor car accident that she said was "entirely her fault" and the front of her car's damaged quite a bit. it could have been a lot worse so she's thankful
• william sent me a message today in the middle of sy's athletics carnival that could have totally broken me but for some reason it didn't:

and so it's the end. i tried to revive it, didn't i? my heart did kind of break a little when i read his words. because i sent that sad face expecting him to at least say "happy belated birthday". but then i get just that, and not even a birthday wish? nothing at all?

i feel so...small. and yet, somehow i knew it was going to happen all along. maybe it was just a matter of waiting. then today, it hit me. meh.

i could not give a fuck. just? i wasted my money on that asshole. $50.

sigh.

to top things off, i came about this close to losing my phone. i was at the park for sy's carnival, casually sitting on the grass. and i have no idea how, but when i got up to walk over to the main area, i completely forgot to pick up and pocket my phone. stupid and careless of me. it wasn't until i was on the other side of the park surrounded by groups of people that i realised my phone wasn't in my pocket. because i went to check if fleur had replied to me and...there wasn't anything in my damn pocket. so i thought??? what??? is it seriously possible i left it where i was sitting on the other side of the park? now stupid me, i'll do anything to get back my phone if i've lost it. so i ran across the park for about 700m and found it lying there on the grass. what the actual hell, i can't believe i did that. somebody could have picked it up. or trod on it. or anything.

this phone has been through hell and back, literally, and it always comes back to me functioning perfectly fine. i'm so grateful but...it's like an upgraded version of a nokia. it's indestructible.