I WOULD RATHER...

• walk in on my parents than have my parents walk in on me
• skip christmas for a year than ski my birthday for a year
• to meet Jesus than to meet Elvis
• to go out for a night dressed as a Nazi than beat up a priest
• pack dog food into tins for work rather than pluck chickens
• have uncontrollable hair than uncontrollable arms
• have a reputation for being a sexist than thought of as a retard
• have bright red eyes than a perpetually red face
• be female than male
• have 3 injections every day for life than go to work every day for life
• to have sex all day than be a member for the opposite sex for a day
• death by water than death by fire
• be in a mental hospital for a month than be in prison for a month
• date Paris Hilton than date Britney Spears
• work at McDonalds than work as a toilet cleaner
• eat a sawdust baguette than a hairy pizza
• get a papercut between two fingers than under my arm
• be banned from seeing my friends for a year than be banned from the internet for a year
• die of sneezing than of thirst
• suck all the snot out of a dog until its head caves in than slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a vat of alcohol
• have an elephant as a close, personal friend than be born with a refrigerator on my back
• have my saliva transmuted into urine than have 15 nails hammered into my tongue
• have flares shoot out of my nose everytime i say the word "the" than have needles for leg hair
• have a voice that makes people calm than eyes that always smile
• have the ability to read people's minds than be able to fly
• have my dog eat my birthday cake than lose my keys three days in a row
• have the power of invisibility than be able to produce sparks from my fingertips
• have all the money i will ever need than be able to fortell the future
• be able to stop time while i sleep than never have to do laundry
• fly when I fart than pee when I laugh
• call tech. support because you were browsing porn sites and now a bunch of porn popups keep coming up and I can't get rid of them than call my mom because I was being arrested for being a prostitute
• hug a random person than pee my pants in public
• have the skateboarding skills of Tony Hawk than the rapping skills of Eminem
• have an incredibly realistic sex-bot that can transform into the spitting image of any celebrity of my choice than a giant robot with enough firepower to invade a country by itself
• swim through a waiting pool of male ejaculate than swim through an olympic sized pool of menstrual blood
• kill a middle-aged fat man than kill a puppy
• have a unibrow than a uniboob
• be a rich ass that noone likes than a hobo that everyone loves
• pole dance naked around a lampost in public than pole dance naked if front of my grandparents
• be 9ft tall than be 3ft tall