- people who believe that they are strong-willed and the masters of their destiny can only continue to believe this by becoming specialists in self-deception.
- perhaps he is a fool and a coward but almost everybody is one or the other and most people are both.
- [...] and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen who forget.
- he pointed a finger at my heart. “and when you have waited—has it made you sure?”
- “and perhaps one day, this morning will not be ashes in your mouth.”
- but home, home across the ocean, to things and people i knew and understood; to those things, those places, those people which i would always, helplessly, and in whatever bitterness of spirit, love above all else.
- i simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and i did not know how i would get through mine.
- “[...] you smiled at me the way you smiled at everyone, you told me what you told everyone— and you tell nothing but lies. what are you always hiding? and do you think i did not know when you made love to me, you were making love to no one? no one! or everyone—but not me, certainly. i am nothing to you, nothing, and you bring me fever but no delight.”
- “if i had to beat you, chain you, starve you—if i could make you stay, i would.” he turned back into the room; the wind blew his hair. he shook his finger at me, grotesquely playful. “one day, perhaps, you will wish i had.”
- and my mind was empty— or it was as though my mind had become one enormous, anaesthetized wound. i thought only, one day i’ll weep for this. one of these days i’ll start to cry.
nov 15 2021 ∞
dec 24 2021 +