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  • "This traditionally male social scheme has been reconstructed by girls who took a good look around and decided that it was better to be predator than prey, better to do unto others before they do unto you. The fatal flaw in this scheme is that when girls believe this, they lose their bearings when the tables are turned. Some girls are surprised by the emptiness they feel when there's literally nobody new left to hook up with. Some are surprised when they discover that, having gotten sex, they want love, and they're unsure how to find it or, if they find it, how to handle it. Some are bewildered when the boy says he wants more than sex, or when he does the walking away. Hooking up leaves them unable to navigae in a world where their wants aren't the only consideration. That is, they don't know how to lose--and they don't know that even winning isn't a one-way street."
  • "But she was afraid that if she did give him her heart, he would disappoint her, much as her father had. She needed him, but suspected she couldn't count on him."
  • "Women whose fathers desert them, physically or emotionally, tend later to go from man to man... each time a man rejects them, or doesn't come through for them in some way, they think it's because something is wrong with them. So they search out another man to fill the void, only to be disappointed again."
  • "No one was asking me to be perfect; I was demanding perfection of myself."
  • "Hooking up is highly adversarial. If you run through lots of casual relationships, seeing your partner as your enemy, the opposite sex can start looking pretty ordinary, or worse."
mar 9 2010 ∞
mar 9 2010 +