Things you should give each other

• Love. Aim for unconditional. Always good to have some unconditional love comin' your way, you know? Not sayin' we always hit the mark--but aim high!
• Forgiveness. If someone's sincerely repentant, forgive them. Again and again. Of course, some things are way crappier than others...some things seem unforgiveable, but it's even better for you to be forgiving than for the one who is forgiven. A grudge just eats at your soul, it pulls the curtains, shuts the windows on your heart and lights everything on fire to be reduced to smoking ruin. So...forgiveness opens windows and calls the firesquad.
• Honesty & communication. It's important to take time to talk openly with each other. And if there's some beef, talk it out, don't be all coy or diplomatic and let it fester nonconfrontationally--drag it out in the light & have a throw down, if need be, because then it's done & over and you're both better off, even if you've got emotional or physical black eyes from it...those will heal. The cancer of silent misunderstandings & resentments is a terminal illness...that could often be cured by a quick and enthusiastic [verbal?] fistfight.
• Fidelity. OK, talkin' spouses here. But don't cheat, that ain't OK. Common sense & no excuses.
• Honor your commitments. If you make them, honor them. Keep your promises. If you can't, don't make a promise.
• Love is something you give without expectation of receiving. Which can put you in tricky situations, but most of the time is a good policy. Just, if you're getting physically abused, that is an exception. And don't ask me where else to draw the line. I don't know. How many people go through life trying & wondering? I guess, it's most important to know that someone loves you also before you act on your feelings, so take some precautions before disclosure, and then when you are sure--which only you can determine, I'd say, and good luck with that...--then give yourself wholly. But I always think it's good to secure a little commitment beforehand. Like a promise ring? No. Like a marriage vow. Gonna love someone all to pieces? Just bursting with it? Well, that's fine...but a little insurance never hurt anyone. How romantic is that? It's not. But it IS incredibly practical, which is what I'm here for. Take it or leave it. You're welcome.

Things you shouldn't expect of each other

• Constantly amusement/entertain from the other.
• Constant attention. Especially from your spouse. They get distracted, too.
• To always be understood. No one ALWAYS understands. Sometimes you just have to find the right person to understand. Sometimes no one will understand and you're just on your own. Pray about it if it makes you feel less alone, I'm still not sure whether or not that does any good or whether or not anyone listens, but it certainly can't hurt. Sometimes they/no one seems to understand because you're pretty much wrong--a lot or just a little. But that's no good indicator, because sometimes you're right and no one else seems to quite get it, and sometimes you're way off in left field acting like a douche, and people still welcome you with compassion, open arms and support, in spite of yourself because you have a nice smile or something. And chances are good, we all see a little bit of both sides in a lifetime.