1x01

• Seth Cohen: Summer's right over there, look. Wait, don't look. I mean you can look, but don't look like you're looking.
• Seth: You guys really wouldn't hurt me. Because that would be so clichéd. (they pick him up) I guess you're fans of the cliché then.

1x02

• Seth: Dude. You're a Cohen now. Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.----

1x03

• Seth: They're parents. They work for us.

1x04

• Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.

Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don't know, because it stays there. That's why we must go!1x06

• Sandy: If you can't talk to your dad, then who can you talk to?

Seth: Gee, I don't know. Ryan, Mom, that tree over there. Sandy: You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. Seth: When are you leaving?1x09

• Seth: Hey did you guys hear? Ryan's funny now.
• Seth: Ryan. That's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing. Or... laughter.

Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you. Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well look at that! Looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving.1x13

• Ryan: You're really starting to scare me.

Seth: I'm okay with that.

• Seth: How was the mall?

Ryan: Weird. Seth: Ah, yes. You've really painted a picture for me, I feel like I was there.

• Seth: 3 letter word for hilarious. Dad, write that down.
• : Sandy: Do you guys need anything?

Seth: Yes. Ryan needs a tear in the space time continuum.