𝔦. — habits

• ▣ no more late nights, get a proper sleep every night
• ▣ accept my new appetite and change my diet
  • ✓ less meat, more smoothies, salads, etc.
  • ✓ two-ish meals per day but more snacks
  • ✓ one cup of coffee only to avoid suppressing appetite
  • ✓ stop forcing myself to eat b/c it's making it worse
  • ✓ take vitamins with first meal of the day
• ☑ finish unpacking for good and put away the rest
• ▣ clean and change the layout of my room. feng shui and allathat
• ▣ fill water bottle every morning and stay hydrated
• ▣ daily to-do lists, roll over anything not completed
• ▣ daily lsat timer to burn through, lessons / review then drilling
• ☒ don't start anything new (side-eyes league) before i fix all this

𝔦𝔦. — reminders

post "therapy" session with em, alt title: this meme

• sooner is better, but better late than never
• what are the chances of that happening?
• you can take the credit for that
• you don't have to "earn" good things like sleep, food, praise, etc. please realize that this is a psychotic way of thinking
• did you eat? did you sleep? did you drink water?
• break the cycle. you know that poem about the dog with a chain that's just as long as the worn path around the post? THAT IS YOU. YOU ARE THE DOG
• self-destruction is not inherently part of your narrative. i know you think you know that but i don't think you do. it will not get you closer to god, or yourself, or truth, or love, or peace, or success, or perfection. it keeps you from all of those things.
• you are smarter than you think you are
• you are not hideous and repulsive, you are literally a normal human being
• you are not filled with iniquitous darkness, you are literally a normal human being. besides being untrue, thinking this way is emo and lame.
• give yourself more credit for the ways you've changed and grown
• just do it already. the time will pass anyway
• don't assume that people know that you care about them or how you feel. you are literally the emotional equivalent of this emoji → 🗿 most of the time. so make it obvious
• you'll have fun when you get to that party
• make more bad art
• you should not feel guilty about being privileged or having good things in your life because "you don't deserve it." again, this is a psychotic way of thinking
• showing vulnerability and that you have love and warmth in your heart is actually in fact good and not bad. it will not make people lose respect for you, it's almost always the opposite
• you are by all accounts a drastically different person than you were as a teenager. stop self-flagellating for a person that doesn't exist anymore
• you are very very lucky to have people like your family, friends, peers and professors who care about you and see your potential. remember that, take it motivation to be better, and hold on tight. you have an avoidant attachment style, so it will always be a conscious choice. that is does not make it less meaningful, it's the opposite.
• if you don't set boundaries for yourself, no one will do it for you. there are plenty of people out there willing to take from you until you no longer exist. no one will save you if you let it happen
• being happy and healthy feels good and it pays back in dividends
• people like ███████ love you more the worse you get. people like ████ love you more the better you get. know the difference. again, you deserve good things, and even if you didn't, that would be irrelevant