inspired by petra's loveposting lists, thank you! kind of spoilers for baldur's gate 3, but nothing major in terms of plot points.

• "i'm all pointy ears, my love!"
• hair curling around his ears (millions found dead)
• "there's also gold, sex, revenge - quite the list, really. but failing any of those, i will always settle for shallow praise."
• the way it's painfully obvious that he's a vampire and we're supposed to be surprised. like right, deathly pale pretty boy with white hair, red eyes, fangs, and a bite mark on his neck. nothing to see here.
• smug :3 face with blood dripping out of his mouth
• everyone is DARLING
• boy why you so ears
• his voice acting which is just chef's kiss, neil newbon is critically acclaimed for this role for good reason. the absolute rollercoaster of being a silly character, to a really heartbreaking one, to a reprehensible one, to a seductive one... range.
• "it doesn't look broken, but then again, none of us do."
• the way he seems to fall into the sexy vampire trope but his story quickly subverts it... and yet the fanbase keeps pigeonholing him :"( he actually directly says "i don't want you to think of me in terms of sex." the baldur's gate fandom:
• the ambiguity of it all ughh i'm insane, you never know if he's still manipulating you out of fear or he's actually being vulnerable for once
• god i love fucked up little fictional guys i can psychoanalyze like a weird bug i found. like sorry i get it in a way you don't i'm like a fanatic cryptozoologist
• this man loves LITERATURE okay his brain may not be the wrinkliest (canonically) but he reads all the time in camp and references the tell-tale heart by edgar allen poe
• modders who change his face to make him look young and smooth, i'm going to fucking get you. the wrinkles are so crucial
• some people think the summoning is his theme, but i think it's circle with me. i mean, come on... feel the weight of a martyr?? traitor cut down the altar???? this could all be yours????????????

things i've said / done

• "i hate travelling in baldur's gate they make me the thief subclass and make me spam hide dash sneak attack and shout go white boy go"
• "me with pale light-haired, morally ambigious vampires: can i have 3 more of these little blonde bitches?"
• "he's so pretty i'm exploding into a million pieces"
• "sorry i've been dead to the world lately i've been hyperfixating on baldur's gate rather immensely"
  • "did you fuck the vampire yet"
• called him a brat and a sadistic lil freak
• called him a mosquito
• called him my vampire guy
• called him a little insane in the membrane
• responded to a sc julie sent of him modded holding an actual gun by saying "my love"
• accidentally shoved him off a floating rock in the astral plane and just laughed in disbelief as he plummeted to his death
• accidentally made him bite karlach and get lit on fire
• "like girls i know he's sexy and traumatized but that doesn't make him not evil.......... please....."
• "god gives his worst fandom interpretations to his most beloved blorbos"
• yapping about him enough that san, who sends me any astarion-related stuff they see, said "i enjoy this vampire man now"
• "such a big difference from early game when he's ̶f̶l̶i̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ manipulating and seducing the shit out of you, that's character development"