• "Oh, shit! The rat was not supposed to go in the microwave!" -Allison
• Holy Shit, It's November! -Owen Wiles, 2003

J(ohn)Lo(ng) Quotes:

• LOVE your sciatic nerve.
• It's an organ bath because we're going to put an organ in it. If we were putting a donut in it, we would call it a donut bath.
• Making fun of people is a bad thing - but we can make fun of meat!
• I should have said sugar cones instead of southern racist cups.
• Be the balloon. Or be the ugly bag of water. Just BE the ugly bag.
• Goddammit, I paid for ice cream! Give me ice cream!
• You know, the Buddhists say that life is suffereing, and, well...unless you're medicated, it is.
• "Yeah I totally heard about this one team where the hazing was terrible. They made everyone get up in the middle of the night, put on skin tight clothing, and get splashed by freezing, sewer water. They made them get sores on their hands and exercise until they threw up. We definitely dont want any teams like that around here...."
• Me, reading from a study: Osteosarcoma is the most common primary bone tumor in men and dogs.

Heather: Well, they have a lot in common.

• Mike, re: the ring around moon. (very casually, off-handedly): Oh, it's from the high energy ions activated by solar winds.
• Gretchen: How am I ever supposed to meet a man if I'm not even going to law school?
• louydot9: keep on futuring...eyes straight ahead
• Andrizzle SEZ: jesus loves you THIS MUCH

Andrizzle SEZ: (hands spread out in a crucifixional manner)

• Andrizzle SEZ: we should form a rowing fraternity, with the greek letter for p, which is pronounced "rho"

Andrizzle SEZ: then we could make shirts that say ppp your boat

• Andrew: No, I NEVER go bicycling with children. I punch them in the FACE instead.
• Miranda: I need a massage.

Andrew: I could kick you. In the back.

• (On our Heather:)

Andrizzle SEZ: no but really, we love her RandiBattle: it's true RandiBattle: if by love her, you mean punch her in the face Andrizzle SEZ: yes, that is what i meant Andrizzle SEZ: be sure to tell her that

• Heather: They look like berries.

Miranda: They're fetuses. Heather: Oh. I liked it better when they were food.

• Heather: What could they POSSIBLY be doing down there?!
• Regarding the daily crossword puzzle:

Miranda: Pencil is for losers. Heather: Miranda does them in blood.

• Heather: I am not a grumpy Czechoslavakian!
• redkat212: pulling a double shift at work. i know, i'm crazy, but you see, i'm going to chile in a month.
• Heather: "I think I'm pregnant with all the thin mints I ate. That takes a lot of thin mints, because they're thin."
• ANDRIZZLESEZ: oooh coasters

they should have wheels on them for rolling drinks back and forth across the table then they'd be roller coasters

• Aaron: i do recommend sleeping - it's like sex but without the complications and it lasts longer
• Allison: they were like "what do you mean you don't have a boyfriend?!" and now i'm like, "yeah, what DO i mean?!"
• "How did a Chinese person gain such an understanding of homosexual American cowboys?" -Peter Jones, New York, NY, on Brokeback Mountain Director Ang Lee
• "You were very respectable with how you placed your shit in my coxbox" -Liz Dunham