- i know that women have a tendency to be more vain than men. the reason for that it's obvious: women suffer from the pressure to fit beauty standarts way way way more than men. sometimes it's seem like this is all we are. our beauty
- i do pressure myself a lot, much more than i should. but at the same time, i kinda feel guilty in some way.. for caring so much about it. i feel like my mind is getting filled with emptiness the more i care about it. am i just an empty headed child?
- but we can't deny that pretty privilege is real. in my high school times, i didn't feel loved nor desired. when i graduated and got cuter, many guys shot their shoot at me. it surprised me so much. like, why now, all of a sudden, you're interested in what i have to say? spare me.
- i wonder if thats the reason why i like fashion. to impress people i don't even like. and i conclude that partially it makes sense, even tho i know fashion means more than that for me. it's the purest form of self expression.
- conssumerism its what's been consuming me actually. all i think about is money. all day. all night. it never stops. i'm grateful that i'm not that pressured to get a job by my parents. actually, i couldn't ask for better parents. they have their flaws, but who doesn't? they're always doing everything for me. i hope that, one day, i can give it back to them. making them proud.
- i wrote all of that bc i want to spend 140 in new sunglasses on monday.
sep 3 2022 ∞
sep 3 2022 +