today i drank with my friends. thats the context. i went down and we drank some alcohol together. i think they might be lightweight drinkers. cause i was 1 cup ahead of them. and they still threw up and got wasted. i mean. 43 was ok but she was also drinking veeeeeeeeery slowly. but 5. my friend. 5 was wastedf. 8 was ok too cause he was drinking beer. cheating. idk. one or two, either my tolerance is higher than i thought, or they're too weak !!! thats awesome btw. how much time their alcohol can stay in their system till they collapse. the main thing i wanted to talk about was our traumas. me and 43 specially... we both talked about awful things that happened to us. for the first time that i drink and talk about sensitive stuff, i dont regret it. i feel a little relieved actually. i just need to take it easy in the alcohol next time we gather round. but it was fun in some parts i tried to protect my friend for the damage she could make.... i'm good in listening.. way too good i would say. and if i could tell God..............................that i'd like to listen to one person in specific............would he listen to me? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease ive been asking for a ------- -. i think we can help each other out.. right? i'm hopeful this time.