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Collected from both my mind and various sources on the internets. For some reason, a lot of these are insults.

  • "Don't be fooled. You don't like nerds. You just like cute guys with glasses."
  • "I walked in and three guys and two girls were singing 'The Bitch of Living' from Spring Awakening. It was then that I knew that I'd finally found my people."
  • "'Hot' is not a personality trait."
  • "I may be ugly, but if I want to I can get plastic surgery. Unfortunately, modern medicine has not yet come up with a cure for Mean Bitch."
  • "You are everything that I hate in a human being."
  • "There is absolutely nothing noble about unrequited love. It's about as noble as taking a brick to the stomach."
  • "This gets progressively worse the further that we go down." "That's what she said!"
  • "Blessed are they who have low expectations, for they shall never be disappointed." "How about 'Blessed are they who have low expectations, for they shall always be surprised when things go good?'"
  • "You are a dick and a half."
  • "All I want is for you to like me the most right now."
  • "That just sounds like the name of a boy who would break your heart."
  • "Maybe I did steal your heart, and I am such a perfect criminal that you never even noticed."
  • "I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love."
  • "It's not a thing. I'm intrigued."
  • "You are showing your ass and no one cares for the view."
  • "Sometimes I think God created that man to destroy my life."
  • "I am convinced that the shrieks, squeals, and screams of pubescent girls could be used as a form of alternate energy."
  • "What is with the expression 'Til the cows come home'? Where are the cows coming home from?"
  • "Oh gravity, thou art a bitch."
  • "I am running the long distance event in the Losing of the Shit."
  • "Sometimes I think we don’t so much fall in love with someone as we fall into something that feels gloriously close to love—something all-consuming and overwhelming, something that makes us feel just that much more alive."
  • "Because I love you, asshole! Why can't that be enough? Why is it never enough?"
  • "Maybe we become romantics because we want to believe in the grandeur of life and especially the grandeur of love. We're not convinced that love will absolve everything, right the wrongs, or guarantee us eternal happiness. We become romantics because we hope to never lose our sense of hope."
  • "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but you'd enjoy it too much."
  • "This is a problem. All we talk about is getting laid." "It's a problem because we're NOT getting laid!"
  • "Everyone points and whispers about us. We must be doing something right."
  • "There are some things that a girl has to keep to herself, after all. Some things that certain people don't realize are sacred."
  • "I will rip your tongue out and serve it to your friends!"
  • "I sincerely hope that you choke on your own vomit."
  • "Maybe if we cross our fingers and sing 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want', our wishes will come true."
  • "...words that feel like a knife between the shoulder blades."
  • "There is an idiocy about you that is unfathomable."
  • "I wanna thump that ass like a ripe watermelon!"
  • "How the fuck old are you?"
  • "The truth is that the internet does forget."
  • "I don't know how I got here. I didn't ask for this, I was dragged in kicking and screaming."
  • "A date. You know, social engagement thing, one-on-one dinner and a movie, maybe making out?"
  • "It's like one of those 80s movies, you know? Geek does good, gets the girl. Not that I'm a geek, but I definitely want to get the girl."
  • "[He/She] looks at you like you're the last glass of ice water in hell."
  • "'Someday' at twenty-one is a lie you tell yourself so that you'll keep going."
  • "Why do you enjoy being wrong?"
  • "I don't love anyone that much. I don't think that I could."
  • "If you believe you're indestructible, maybe one day you will be."
  • "I just want to climb him like a motherfucking tree. I mean, it'd be a short climb, but still."
  • "I don't give happy endings to people who don't do charity."
  • "I wouldn't hesitate to Natalie Wooding you right now."
  • "I bet I could activate your superpowers."
  • "Desire is a two-way street."
  • "I just want a little bloodshed. Is that too much to ask?"
  • "That sounds like what heaven tastes like."
  • "Eggs make a really satisfying noise when they hit a guy in the head."
  • "I'm too drunk for this." "I'm too sober for this."
  • "I have been in a haze for a week already, and this shit ain't helping."
  • "She is five-foot nine inches of psychosis."
  • "You are a nerd masquerading as smooth."
  • "This leads nowhere except down the road to disappointment and ruin."
  • "That man looks like he knows exactly what to do with his mouth."
  • "Just kill me. Pour vodka on me and light me on fire."
  • "It's all broken hearts and harsh judgments."
  • "You strike me as being the kind of man who confuses being attracted to women with liking them."
  • "I don't feel like a role model. I feel like a cautionary tale."
  • "Do you ever get the feeling you're becoming the kind of person you never wanted to be?" "What kind of person don't you want to be?" "Someone selfish."
  • "The night is long and I'm so lonely."
  • "I like a man who can take a punch."
  • "I am so far out of the loop that I'm starting to doubt the existence of a loop."
  • "He was a restless kind of handsome."
apr 19 2011 ∞
apr 19 2018 +