❄ — january

• kisses — slowdive
• rain — sleep token
• goes nowhere — nosgov
• passenger — deftones
• vengeance — iwilldiehere
• the moon will sing — the crane wives
• ceremony — skrillex, yung lean, bladee
• who is she ? — i monster
• foe — blxty & mental
• greedy — tate mcrae

♬ new playlists: bloodless (monthly), real light music club (digicore), transient guests are we (darkwave), stigmata (alt metal), dizzy on caffeine (d&b), his corpse is marked by stars (astarion), who's a heretic, child? (my bg3 character).

♡ — february

• mission — alex g
• always — daniel caesar
• sheep go to heaven — cake
• crazy he calls me — billie holiday
• everything goes on — porter robinson
• lust for a vampyr — i monster
• who saves the savior — scrim

𝔦. — played

• baldur's gate 3
  • 12.23 — first playthrough: half-elf oathbreaker paladin of vengeance | ♡ astarion | life cleric shadowheart, evocation wizard gale, and thief rogue astarion
  • 01.24 — second playthrough: half-elf lore bard & my brother's pact of the tome warlock | battle master fighter lae'zel and thief rogue astarion ↻
• metal: hellsinger
  • ✔ second playthrough
  • leviathan mode
• darkest dungeon
  • favourite party: occultist, jester, highwayman, leper
  • other classes i like: grave robber, hellion, crusader
  • 01.24 — new playthrough
• dead by daylight

✧ — if you ever decide to age, love, invite me. i'll retire my bones to make you tea, and read you poetry.

• i kneel into a dream where i am good & loved. i am good. i am loved. my hands have made some good mistakes. they can always make better ones.
• i loved you completely. and you loved me the same. that's all. the rest is confetti.
• i choked on such longing i couldn't spit it out. yes, desire is so different when god bore you hungry.
• i'm confounded by music, and babies, and laughter, and stories, and goodness, and infinity, and luck. i'm confused by the notion that somebody loves me.
• stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive. ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. i wish i could show you when you are lone...

—— my favourites

• chicago rat hole ♡
• cognitive biases ♡
• common misconceptions ♡
• outsider art ♡
• postmodernist film ♡
• santa muerte, our lady of holy death ♡
• work song ♡

—— general

• bald-hairy
• bōsōzoku
• chalk outline
• code-switching
• cosmic latte
• diogenes (the original florida man)
• dueling scar
• experimental musical instrument
• faithful dogs
• football hooliganism
• gävle goat

+ — more

• file management: keeping my pc, laptop, and phone tidy
• consistency: let's put in the work everyday
• healthy habits: hydration, skincare, dental routine
• organization: decluttering, tidying up to destress
• social initiative: showing my friends i care about them
• career planning: research, networking

- — less

• endless scrolling: social media, multitasking
• inconsistent sleep schedule: staying up late, sleeping in
• sitting at my desk: getting hyperfocused, losing track of time
• negative self talk: perfectionism, judging myself
• anxiety: overanalyzing everything, visualizing worst outcomes
• executive dysfunction: procrastinating

✧ — develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music. the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. forget yourself. or, beauty in the mundane will save us.

• songs sampling movies
  • bubblin, he's gonna get nasty about it!
  • mg1, do you remember what we promised?
• songs sampling sounds
  • girls, soda can opening
  • monaco, f1 cars
• leather jackets
• roleplaying games
• people's eyes squinting when they smile
• wintermint chewing gum
• smirnoff ice
• fictional detectives

❄ — january

• snow days and no class for two days in a row; my last volunteer shift is bittersweet; the aiartpocalypse, many large companies caught in the act; finally playing bg3 & falling in love with astarion, embarassing — men be like i'm fighting demons and the demons are bisexuality; palworld sets a new record for peak concurrent players on steam (somehow); starting wwdits; the combat boots incident; how long can this go on; extra strength ibuprofen and coke zero; taking a break from reading with more reading; planning my research project for this semester
  • song: who is she ? ▸ i monster
  • colour: persian indigo

♡ — february

• bg3 co-op with fox; self-care (still dehydrated); drawing freud puns on my psych exam for bonus marks; the gang does a group study session and two wasians try to gu..._"i may have flown too close to the sun on..._ somehow got a perfect score on my law en...

"i've connected the dots." "you haven't connected shit." "i've connected them."

• k-nine;
  • k: my first initial
    • first initial and nickname of my favourite rapper kendrick, or k.dot, originally signed to top dawg entertainment, with recent lyric "that's a k with all these 9s"
    • art: black ink and the first initial of my art program of choice, krita
  • k-9: police dogs, related to my crim major
    • one of my favourite characters, will graham, is often compared to a k-9 or "bloodhound" because of his ability to track criminals. this metaphor is furthered by jack crawford literally "unmuzzling him" in the tv series.
    • cops and lawyers themselves are sometimes called "lawdogs" especially in a western/cowboy setting.
  • canine: dogs, a motif associated with one of my favourite bands through their album cover and lyrics.

• bronco — orville peck
• to pimp a butterfly — kendrick lamar
• (iii) — crystal castles
• nurture — porter robinson
• everybody is going to heaven — citizen
• the new abnormal — the strokes
• is this it — the strokes
• nevermind — nirvana
• peripheral vision — turnover
• call me if you get lost — tyler the creator
• preacher's daughter — ethel cain
• the queen is dead — the smiths
• whatever people say i am... — arctic monkeys
• white pony — deftones
• twin fantasy — car seat headrest
• scenery (シーナリィ) — ryo fukui
• LP! — jpegmafia
• the record — boygenius
• quest for fire — skrillex
• wasteland, baby! — hozier
• teens of denial — car seat headrest

• icu, phoebe bridgers — i've been playing dead my whole life, and i get this feeling whenever i feel good, it'll be the last time
• punisher, phoebe bridgers — i love a good place to hide in plain sight. i swear i'm not angry, that's just my face. a copycat killer with a chemical cut, either i'm careless or i wanna get caught. i can't open my mouth and forget how to talk, cause even if i could, wouldn't know where to start, wouldn't know when to stop
• i know it's over, the smiths — oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head, as i climb into an empty bed... oh well, enough said. i know it's over, still i cling, i don't know where else i can go. see, the sea wants to take me, the knife wants to slit me, do you think you can help me? it's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind.
• achilles come down, gang of youths — so self-indulgent and self-referenti...

if i was a(n)...

• album: teens of denial
• animal: prairie dog
• art style: academicism
• body part: eyes
• cardinal direction: north
• colour: hale navy
• deity: minerva
• drink: black tea
• element: air
• expression: furrowed brow
• f1 driver: oscar piastri (#81)
• film genre: neo-noir
• food: seattle sushi roll
• fruit: orange
• game: cry of fear
• ice cream: mint chocolate chip
• instrument: bass guitar
• monster: vampire
• month: october
• music genre: grunge

• internet arcade ▸ old arcade games in your browser
• wikiart ▸ digital art database ♡♡♡
• musicmap ▸ generate a visual web of similar artists
• colour hunt ▸ colour palette database
• whosampled ▸ find origins of musical samples
• fancaps ▸ high-quality screens from movies
• lastguess ▸ guess your top last.fm songs based on lyrics
• tiny backgrounds ▸ seamless patterns for web design
• findagrave ▸ online cemetery, you can leave flowers and messages
• script slug ▸ read scripts from movies & shows
• orbchurch ▸ make a poem from your birth chart
• driveandlisten ▸ drive around a city and listen to local radio
• the unsent project ▸ user-submitted unsent messages
• zombo.com ▸ you can do anything!

♱ love is like religion is a trope commonly found in pop songs and other romantic works where religious imagery and terminology are used to talk about love as though it itself were a faith or as though the beloved were a celestial being.

• tulsa jesus freak, lana del rey — sing me like a bible hymn. we should go back to arkansas, trade this body for that can of gin, like a little piece of heaven.
• cement, citizen — meet me by the lake, i'm ripe with severed faith. you wear the only scar. if i'm a saint, then you're heaven, my only, if i'm a waste, then you're golden, my only, if i'm shame, you're bolder than all of me. i'll give you myself, give you myself any day.
• coming down, halsey — i've got a lover, a love like religion, i'm such a fool for sacrifice.
• the summoning, sleep token — i've got a river running right into you, i've got a blood trail, red in the blue. something you say or something you do, a taste of the divine. oh, and my love..._did i mistake you for a sign from god?_