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20: broken
21: healing
22: kindness

they were unkind to you. don't let that make you unkind.

daybreak follows:
  • 9/9/18: "a lot of the things i did in that relationship was out of fear because i was scared of her. there was a power struggle where i kept looking up to her but she was always looking down on me. once we broke up, i felt a loss of identity." | we're a lot more similar than i thought.
  • 9/14/18: late night bbt at coco with the crew after the welcome back party
  • 9/16/18: "sometimes i think about how just last year we barely knew each other and now we go to the same church. you've come a long way, and it's amazing that you gave it another chance because you've been through a lot of hurt and it's like a miracle."
  • 9/20/18: "not sure if he's coming since he graduated" "an alternative is going to his small group" | it feels like they all know that i like him
  • 9/23/18: i used to hate sundays but now they're what i look forward to.
  • 9/30/18: maybe i can't give up on him because i've fallen too deep
  • 10/5/18: "i'm grateful for all the hardships i've been through. if i was still in that position today, i would not be grateful for it. but now looking back at it, i'm glad i went through all those things because i came out of it a stronger person and someone who has learned so much."
  • 10/18/18: i wrote my essay about you. you've been my biggest supporter since the first day we met, and you've been there for me even when things were difficult. thank you for letting me love you.
  • 10/26/18: the svpg family keeps me going during my hardest times
  • 10/28/18: i was comforted by a lot of people today
  • 10/29/18: "he told me he met a friend who gave him advice to not be impulsive" | "This weekend in prayer i received the the word "mustard seed". its something thats small to start off amongst all the other plants but it grows into the biggest plant. It sticks out among the rest of the plants even though it starts off the smallest. Not totally sure what this means for u but hope u can keep in ur mind this week!"
  • 10/31/18: sorta upsetting that everyone who knows about my situation has sent me words of encouragement except for you.
  • 11/2/18: 2 years ago, i felt somewhat happy to have two friends to hang out with but something felt missing. 1 year ago, i felt content to have friends from high school and a friend from class to hang out with but there was something still missing. this year, i have a group of close friends that i can talk to about personal things and hang out with regularly. i feel complete and my heart is at ease.
  • 11/20/18: you continue to disappoint me on this day twice in a row
  • 11/25/18: don't know why it feels so right with you even though you can't return my feelings
  • 12/2/18: he's the type to avoid conflict and it reminded me of the past, and i realize that i can't be with someone who avoids conflict otherwise i'll be suffering again
  • 12/6/18: too many anxieties that i can't invite a group of people to hang out cause i feel like no one will show up if i invite
  • 12/14/18: "you're the only one that actually listens to me" | i wanted to tell you that i missed you too and you not coming anymore was hard for me, but how could i when it'll add onto your burden?
  • 12/16/18: felt that awkward tension arise between us again, i'm sorry
  • 12/17/18: saw you today as i looked and dressed worse than usual, it's unfair how you treat me so kindly and encourage me to dress like this more often, it makes me like you even more when i'm already struggling to let go of you
  • 12/20/18: i shouldn't be selfish when you're going through a hard time, i don't want to let these feelings get in the way of our friendship but i don't know what else to do
  • 12/31/18: never thought i'd have friends who i can see and talk to on a regular basis. after how last year left me full of hurt and anger, i never thought i'd see the light again. then i was saved.
sep 3 2018 ∞
dec 31 2018 +