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Jen. Twenty-something physicist and science communicator.

Interests include, but are not limited to, conspiracy theories, animals and cryptography.

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Things I'd say to people if I weren't so spineless.

  • You ARE beautiful and the reason guys keep screwing you over is because you go after dickheads!
  • He has a child and only I know. He said he'd never tell you because he was afraid of losing you.
  • Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to be camp, don't let yourself be pressured.
  • She got mad at you and left the room because the same thing happened to her as happened to me but she can't joke about it like I can.
  • As much as I despise you I have to admit your blog is really good and I am one of your regular readers. If only you were the sort of person your blog made you out to be...
  • Your father is alive and your mother is lying to you.
  • Living with you was annoying, exhausting and disgusting.
  • Everyone knows that you lied about being raped and we all know you had to do community service as a punishment. For some reason, though, nobody will ever call you out on it.
  • You and your girlfriend are a really strange couple and literally everyone you know was surprised that you two got together. Good luck though...
  • I KNOW YOU BROKE MY FAVOURITE MUG AND YOU EVEN LIED ABOUT IT TO MY FACE!! I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN SO ANGRY IF YOU'D BEEN HONEST!!! COWARD!!!
  • You are a REALLY bad driver and your car is SHIT.
  • I told you I liked him so that you wouldn't go after him because I've seen the way you treat men and I'm not going to let you do that to my best friend.
  • I broke up with you for the following set of reasons:
    • you were never good enough for me; I knew it, you knew it, everyone around us knew it...
    • I could never have an intelligent conversation with you.
    • Your place in society was far below my own; I am upper middle class and your family are on benefits. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but you kept bringing it up.
    • My parents didn't like you.
    • I began to be repulsed by your physical appearance.
    • You couldn't make me laugh.
    • You had no aspirations and no motivation to do anything - no job, no hobbies, etc.
    • You cheated on me.
  • You're not a germaphobe. I know a germaphobe. You're just an attention seeker.
  • You need to understand that nobody thinks it's cool that you sleep around and you're seriously selling yourself short.
  • Your boyfriend tries to get me into bed and makes inappropriate suggestions when you're not around and THAT is where the rumours came from.
  • He's lying to you like he lied to me. No, I'm not crazy. No, I'm not in love with him. No, I am not a bitch. I am not even a bitter ex. Trust me.
  • You are wonderful and if we weren't best friends I would happily marry you.
  • She was acting weird because she just mis-carried your baby.
  • Everyone knows you faked your epilepsy and we find it disgusting.
  • I dream about you several times a week and I don't know why.
  • I know why you don't talk to me anymore - it's because I was the only person who could ever call you out on your bullshit and you hated that.
  • You treated me really, really badly and people don't realise it.
aug 22 2010 ∞
apr 25 2014 +