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  • 1/1 - Still horribly ill, still trying to write a last minute essay to a school that probably won't accept me...2018 is starting off great!
  • 1/2 - Finished my application on time and I got a fee waiver??
  • 1/4 - I'm feeling very Sylvia Plath-ish today
  • 1/6 - I walked 14,000 steps today boiiiii
  • 1/7 - Mexican excellence!
  • 1/8 - I'm have horrible cramps and I'm basically just waiting for someone to take me out of my misery
  • 1/12 - Disappointed that I didn't get to see more of San Francisco
  • 1/13 - I don't think I could possibly hate anything more than baby showers
  • 1/14 - back to SD, back to playing video games and shirking responsibility
  • 1/17 - I missed two weeks of writing poems. I'm so bad at this!
  • 1/18 - I'm always genuinely shocked at how underdeveloped I am as an adult/functioning human being
  • 1/19 - I really hate listening to myself think
  • 1/24 - I wish that I wasn't so easily embarrassed ughhh
  • 1/25 - wow I hate my entire extended family lmao they really are horrible people
  • 1/26 - The only things worth living for at this point are Red Dead Redemption II and Vampyr
  • 1/29 - I put the fun in high-functioning depression
  • 1/30 - Spent the day with Etis watching movies at the cinema. Probably the most pleasant day I've had in the last two weeks, even if we did get lost on the way home
  • 1/31 - The older you get, the easier it becomes to cut people out of your life. Or maybe that's just me idk
  • 2/5 - It's February so I expect to start hearing back from schools soon. I'm terrified. Even though I already expect the worst, I know that I'm going to be absolutely crushed if I don't get in anywhere. There's really no way to prepare for that kind of disappointment
  • 2/8 - I'm so bad at keeping up friendships, mostly because I get so depressed/anxious that I stop talking to people for an entire month
  • 2/11 - As much as I want my friends to be happy and successful, I'm also tired of telling them how to run their dumb lives (especially since they never listen to me anyway)
  • 2/20 - Had an okay birthday. The best part was probably going to see Black Panther (which was fantastic)
  • 2/21 - One rejection letter down, four more to go
  • 2/22 - That's two. I'm just praying for a waitlist at this point
  • 3/11 - When am I going to hear back from Iowa? Everyone else seems to have gotten their letters but my application is still "in progress". Ugh I hate this. If I don't get into Iowa it means I only have one more school to hear back from.
  • 3/12 - Hello, it's me, you're friendly neighborhood insomniac
  • 3/13 - I have so many ideas for stories but i can never a) pick one to actually write, and b) muster the will to sit down and start typing. It's the worst
  • 3/14 - Okay, fuck you, Iowa (even though this was totally anticipated and I didn't even want to go there anyway)
  • 3/15- Not to be dramatic, but all of my dreams are dying around me and I'm stuck living a life that I hate :\
  • 4/13 - I'm exactly the kind of person that would sit on their glasses and break them lol
  • 5/8 - Bioware owns my whole life at this point
  • 7/25 - Plane rides are great in theory, but not in practice
  • 7/26 - Traipsed around Vancouver until I was sweaty and delirious. I think the best part of the day was walking across a huge suspension bridge with about 50 other people
  • 7/27 - There is something so sublimely terrifying about being in the middle of the ocean and knowing there's no one around for miles
  • 7/29 - Spent the day in Ketchikan and saw a little black bear and about five bald eagles just sitting on the beach
  • 7/30 - Went to Icy Strait Point and Hoonah today. I loved just walking along the rocky beach and hiking through the dark, desolate forest. I'd give anything to just live like a hermit in the Alaskan wilderness
  • 8/1 - Rode a little train through the mountains of Skagway. It was beautiful, but I just wish I hadn't kept falling asleep -_-
  • 8/2 - Got to see a Hubbard glacier up close today. It was so beautiful watching it through the mist, listening to the thunderous noise of ice cracking off and falling into the ocean. I was completely at peace
  • 8/3 - Visited Seward and the weather was perfectly gloomy. We went to the Sealife Center and saw some adorable seals and sea lions. Later, as we were walking to catch our bus, we saw two sea otters bobbing in the ocean, just a few feet from the shore
  • 8/4 - Visited the Anchorage Museum and saw some amazing art. Later, I took a trolley around downtown and saw a moose walking around someone's front yard
  • 8/5 - Visited the Wildlife Conservation Center and saw a bunch of animals, including a brown bear that was floating on his back in a small lake. Honestly, such a perfect end to this trip
  • 8/6 - Our flight was a red eye, so I spent most of today crashing. I really missed my bed, but I did not miss being at home:\
  • 8/10 - Okay, maybe I shouldn't be so fatalistic, but it just feels like I should stop trying because every attempt I make to improve my life just backfires in the most phenomenal way
  • 9/3 - Finally got a new laptop yeet!
  • 9/10 - Great, I love embarrassing myself in front of important people
  • 9/17- I'm becoming too familiar with the Mexico City airport
  • 9/18 - Acapulco would be nice if it weren't so unbearably hot and I wasn't being eaten alive by mosquitoes
  • 9/19 - The only thing I've been doing on this trip is working, which is, I suppose all I can expect from a business trip
  • 9/23 - The only upside to staying in a hotel near the jungle is all the wildlife I get to see. This morning, for instance, I took a shower with a gecko. He was pretty chill
  • 9/25 - Finally I get to go home today. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed
  • 10/18 - I can't believe how horrendously uneventful this month has been. The most exciting thing that I've done in the past few weeks is pick out what books I'm going to read this month
  • 10/31 - Had a pretty low-key Halloween, although it was still better than last year's. I hung out with Paul and watched horror movies while gorging on chocolate
  • 11/6 - Pam came over and serenaded me on my porch while we drank sweet wine out of a massive jug. I had such a good time and she's so talented. I keep telling her she should start a band but I don't think she takes me seriously
  • 11/9 - Had to have an emergency surgery to remove two cysts on my ovaries. I've been in horrific pain the last three days so this actually came as a relief to me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to either my doctors or myself, my left Fallopian tube had torqued and also had to be removed. Suffice it to say, it's been one hell of a day
  • 11/11 - I've been lying supine on my bed for the last two days so I can recover from my surgery. I'm so bored and I have nothing to do. The one thing I've gleamed from this experience is that there is truly nothing more torturous than being alone with your thoughts.
  • 11/12 - I dropped my phone in water today and now the speaker doesn't work. So, yes, if you're wondering, my life really is hitting a downwards trajectory.
  • 11/30 - Hung out with Paul and played Mario party. It was a good day, but somehow tinged with an unidentifiable sadness
  • 12/1 - Celebrated Mary's birthday by eating taro cake and drawing together
  • 12/9- Why am I always expected to forgive people who haven't done anything worthy of forgiveness?
  • 12/10 - I'm the worst person to talk about religion with
  • 12/11 - I just really wish that certain people weren't in my life anymore
dec 31 2017 ∞
dec 11 2018 +
user picture fighter x: 1/18 to 1/25 and 1/29. I feel those so hard. lol. lots of luck with getting acceptance letters!!!! mar 4 2018
user picture birdie: thanks, I need all the luck I can get at this point lol mar 11 2018